


"Ben Solo, A Star Wars Story"

by Jay2Noir



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Kylo Ren, Birth Control, Blow Jobs, Books, Chess, Crylo Ren, Drunk Blow Jobs, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fondling, I'm not suffering I'm surviving: In Style!, Identity Issues, Interrogation, Kidnapping, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Love Notes, Police, Pregnancy Scares, Pregnancy Test, Prison, Sex, Sex in a Car, Slow Burn, Smut, Stalker, Stalking, The title is supposed to be the name of the book!, Washington D.C., Writing Prompt, hair-smelling, heavy period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 68,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay2Noir/pseuds/Jay2Noir
Summary: At your favorite yearly yard sale a woman gives you a book titled "Ben Solo, A Star Wars Story" because the title reminded you of a movie coming out in the next few weeks. As the pages turn you find that love notes directed to a person called "T.K." from a person called "K.R." keep appearing even after flipping through the pages multiple times. You reason that the person who owned the book had a fascination with the fictional character Kylo Ren and think nothing of it, going through the book as you would any other piece of literature. The story of Ben Solo is so interesting you find it hard to put down, until you find that there's truth in the phrase "a book so good it'll send you to another universe."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the following writing prompt from thejohnfox.com:  
> A woman finds love letters written to someone else stuffed into a novel at a used book store, and she falls in love with the letter writer. What does she do to find the person who wrote the letters?

The cool part about living in the Nation’s Capital, Washington D.C., was not that you were patriotic or that mostly everyone else around you was, or that everything you needed was either a walk or a Metro ride away, it was that to your left was Virginia and every other side of you was Maryland. From where you lived, on Capitol Hill next to the Eastern Market Metro Station, you were about half an hour away from Maryland and 20 minutes away from your family in Virginia. But you weren’t on your way to Virginia today, you had packed yourself up in your little blue Ford Focus and was on your way to Rockville Maryland to go through the rich people’s items they were selling in the city’s annual yard sale. People from all over Montgomery County flocked to this one large park to sell all of their belongings for awesome prices, you had been going every year since you moved to DC all by yourself and have found so many great items for your tiny living space. You called off work at the Capitol Hill Hotel and didn’t look back, too excited to see what interesting items you’d find this year.

You parallel parked yourself a few blocks down the road from the public park and made your way down, your small brown purse swinging by your side as you did. You smiled as you could see the vendors over the horizon, there seemed to be a huge crowd just like there was every year. You were a very all around person, collecting anything from toys, dolls, kitchenware, books, and anything else that looked interesting to you. Your small one bedroom apartment was decorated with lots of knick-knacks and you were bound to bring more home today. 

You paid your $3 entry fee and began shopping around, taking a look at the expensive glassware an old lady was selling, some baby and toddler items a family of four was selling, some hand painted paintings a local artist made, made your way through one of the several Beanie Baby tables, and still found nothing that piqued your interest. 

You mosied on through, still determined to find at least one thing that you could take home with you. You stopped at the table of what seemed to be a young woman around your age who had lots of stuff for sale at her large table. When you approached her you were the only one at her table and she was sitting down reading a book, she didn’t notice you right away. She had kitchen stuff, clothing, small house furnishings such as lamps, decorative vases, and posters as well as a plethora of books. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought she was moving and trying to unload as much of her stuff as she could. You decided to pick through her books, it was the only thing you had not seen much of today and, with your Kindle broken and being repaired at an Amazon facility out of state, you didn’t have much else to do at home other than sit on your couch and watch Netflix all day.

You began picking through her carton of books, wondering if she knew you were there and was just being reserved or if you were genuinely being quiet enough to not be noticed. You ran your finger over the spines till one caught your eye, the only black book in her inventory and, for some particular reason, it didn’t have a title. Using your pointer finger you fished the book out from between the others and turned it over. In large, gold lettering was the title:  Ben Solo, A Star Wars Story.  It was recognizable, obvious that it was from the Star Wars franchise, you recognized the font right away. You were familiar with the movies, but couldn’t call yourself a fan. You had only ever seen the very first movie, Episode three, and thought it was alright. You hadn’t gone out of your way to see the other movies, but you knew there was a new movie that was coming out soon that your friends wanted you to see with them. You took a closer look at the title, using your hand to sweep the thin layer of dust off of it. Wasn’t this the movie that was coming out in a few weeks? You lifted your brows, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to read through the book first before seeing the movie. 

You looked up to the woman behind the table, she still wasn’t paying attention to you. You took another look down at the book, figuring since she wasn’t looking maybe you should take one more second to look up a synopsis just to see if it would be an interesting read. With the book cradled in your right arm you began pulling your phone out of the pocket of your jean shorts, you glaced at the cover to see if there was an author but there didn’t seem to be one. The only words on the cover were the title. 

“Excuse me?” The woman finally acknowledged your presence as you were typing the name Ben Solo into the Google search bar on your homepage. You looked up at her without pressing search, smiled as you put your phone away to get ready to pay for your new book. “Hello!” You said, placing the book on the table in front of her. “Just this, please.” You affirmed your purchase and began to dig through your wallet for the cash you had brought. “Oh, Star Wars!” She said, her bright blue eyes lit up with her smile while a tuft of her blonde hair fell from under her hat. “You a fan?”

You shrugged, then carefully explained your interest in the book. She smiled and nodded the entire time, seemingly too interested in your disinterest in the Star Wars franchise. “So, how much do I owe you?” She took the book into her hands and flipped through it, smiling sweetly at the pages. She seemed so connected to the book, but if your assumption that she was moving were correct then the idea to downsize would be a reasonable excuse to part with it. “Oh, well…” She started, closing the book and sliding it across the table to you. “For you? If you think you can handle the wild ride, then it’s free.” She smiled at you as she waited for you to take the book from the table, you looked at her confused.

“Uh, why?” She shrugged, looked at the book and then back to the other things she had for sale. “I have all this other stuff, what’s three dollars from a book going to change?” She said, leaning back into her chair. “Besides, the book has brought me a lot of fun. It’d be nice to know someone else is having a great time like I did for a change.”

“Oh, but it looks like you’re moving. I insist!” You said, pulling a five dollar bill from your wallet. It cost you a lot of money to move from Virginia to D.C., you wanted to help this young woman in any way that you could. “No, no! I promise it’s alright. Consider it a gift from Victoria.” The girl, now known as Victoria, held up her hand to you. You didn’t know how long you’d have this back and forth with her, but you figured if she wanted you to have the book this badly then you’d just take it. You figured you could save that $5 for lunch on your way home today instead. 

“I am moving, though. Going to try to make my way out of the city and to a quieter place.” Victoria said, her eyes flickered to the book that you now held in your arms. She looked kinda sad, she did say she was very entertained by the book and she'd miss it a lot. “So, just so you know you probably won’t see me again.” She said, chuckling nervously. It sounded so ominous, you weren’t really sure how to react to her declaration. So you just nodded, took a step back while clutching your new Star Wars book to your chest. “Okay, well thanks again for the book.” You said, offering a small wave. She nodded at you, lifting her book back into her lap. On that strange note you turned away, moving as fast as you could into the crowd with your new book. The interaction was so bizarre it almost made you want to flee the yard sale, afraid that the cops were after that girl and you had just bought some sort of evidence that she was trying to get rid of. You took another look at the book in your arms,  _ Ben Solo, A Star Wars Story.  _ This book had better be good.

 

The only things you came home with from the yard sale was a few neat shirts and your new book, on your way home you stopped by Chipotle and bought yourself a burrito bowl with all of your favorite foods on the inside. You threw the book onto your table next to your food bag and decided to grab some utensils and a glass of water. As you sat down to eat you opened the cover of the book thinking that sometimes authors write little blurbs about the book and themselves and you could get a better idea about the book before diving in head first. But oddly enough there was nothing there. With a grimace you flipped to the back of the book only to find that the back page was empty too. You had made the assumption that this was one of those books that was sold with the information printed on a plastic sleeve and that the sleeve simply had gotten lost. It had happened to a few of your books as well, it was no big deal. You thought there was no use googling a synopsis of the book when you had already brought it home with the intention of reading it cover to cover, so you dove right in; your burrito bowl and glass of water at your side of a great new book.

 

The first few chapters were centered around two characters you were familiar with: Leia Organa and Han Solo. The book spun a tale about a Princess and a scoundrel who married each other and were happy until they had a child, and the name of that child told you that he was the main character of the book: Ben Solo. From there, you read horror stories of his upbringing, how his father was absent, putting the family in debt due to his constant borrowing of money, or about how his mother was absent at certain times of his life due to her being a Senator, princess, and a famous General in one lifetime. By chapter 5, when Ben was going into adulthood, you had thoroughly felt for him; There was a reason why you had moved to D.C. all by yourself, you could sympathize with a fictional character about your upbringing. 

You went on to read about another well known name in the Star Wars franchise: Luke Skywalker and about how he tried to help Ben by training him positively in the Force, but Ben had met some dude named Snoke who convinced him to “go dark” as the book said. Ben went on to burn down the Jedi Temple where his uncle trained him, killing all of his comrades and running away to the First Order where he ruled the Knights of Ren and became a Commander of the Order. It was all pretty interesting, you had to say. You couldn’t wait for the movie to show when you could outshine all of your Star Wars obsessed friends at the theaters.

Your lunch had been finished and you dog-eared the page you were reading and went to throw your trash out and finish the dishes you had left in the sink last night. While the story of Ben Solo was a heartbreakingly interesting one, you still had responsibilities to attend to, including setting yourself up for work tomorrow morning. 

So you went on with your evening, making something small for dinner, taking the trash to the trash chute on the next level of your building, responding to a few emails from your friends and family, and soon you found yourself snuggling down in your queen sized bed with the book in your hands once again, eagerly opening to the page that you had dog-eared to pick back up where you left off. As you turned the pages over and over, reading about how Ben Solo morphed into big and bad Kylo Ren something odd fell out of the book and into your lap. You furrowed your brows as you pulled the torn piece of paper from the back of the book and lifted it so that you could read the scribbled text written upon it:

 

_ To my Dearest T.K. _

_ Even when so far away from me, your energy and happiness brings me so much joy. Come home soon, I miss you so much and the sadness weighs heavily on my heart every day. _

_ Love, K.R. _

 

You couldn’t help but to chuckle at the sappiness that you held in your hand. Looks like someone had a lover and they forgot to remove all of their love letters. From the looks of it, T.K. was role playing with someone who took on Kylo Ren’s initials. You shook your head, it wasn’t your thing but hey, it’s whatever floated their boat. You couldn’t help but to wonder if this love note belonged to Victoria at the yard sale, she was the last person to have owned the book so it would make sense, but unless she was going by another alias it was doubtful. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to throw the note away, you liked collecting odd and uncommon things so you decided to keep the note and use it as a bookmark for your new book. K.R. had obviously put their hurting heart and soul into this note only to have it be forgotten in a book that had been given away at least once, if anything you could pretend you were T.K. and have Kylo Ren love you, even though he seemed like a punk bitch and a major douchebag. Before you closed the book for the night you took it by the covers and shook it, just to see if any more notes fell out of it. Much to your disappointment nothing came from the pages and you were left with just your singular love note. You set the book down on your nightstand, decided you’d continue reading about Ben Solo’s adventures as soon as you got your break tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

The Capitol Hill Hotel was always bustling first thing in the morning, people checking in and out, filing complaints, and making requests to you and your colleagues who also worked at the front desk. You barely had any time to even think about Ben Solo or his troubled life until your break at 1:30 pm. You shed what you could of your employee uniform and went to the nearby garden, sat upon your favorite bench, opening up your book to where you left off and jumped back into the story.

You were in the middle of reading about the ins and outs of the First Order, about where Kylo Ren lived and about what he did during his day when you heard footsteps coming down the path. You didn’t look up, the garden was well known in the city and you never expected to have it to yourself. You flipped the page, starting on a line about General Hux and his relationship with Kylo when someone tapped you on the shoulder. Annoyed, you looked up and were met with a familiar face: Victoria from the yard sale

“Oh, hello!” She said, smiling innocently at you. “I didn’t expect to find you here.” 

“Me neither.” You said, trying to calculate the odds of finding someone who was presumably from Montgomery County here in DC. “I see you have the book I gave you, is it good?” You nodded politely, wishing she’d go away so you could continue reading about the handsome red-headed man that, according to Kylo, was always angry. “Well, good.” There was silence, you looked down to your book, just staring at it hoping she’d get the idea and leave you alone. 

“So what brings you here?” She asked, leaning back on her ankles and smiling at you once again. “I work here.” You said, bitterly. If she didn’t catch the hint now then she never would. “Here in the garden?” Using your chin you gestured in the direction of the hotel. “No, at the hotel down the road.” Her eyes grew wide as she asked you which hotel you worked at. Now you were thoroughly annoyed, there was only one hotel down the road, and that was the Capitol Hill Hotel. When you affirmed that was the hotel she seemed to get even more peppy than when she was before hand, explaining that’s where she was currently living before her big move.

That statement puzzled you. The Capitol Hill Hotel was a luxury hotel that could cost up to 500 a night, from the look of her as well as the items at her yard sale, it didn’t seem like she could afford an extended stay at your hotel. Sure, it was a very nice hotel with nice food and nice rooms, but to stay a week could go over two grand! It seemed outlandish, but hey. Just like you thought of her before: Whatever floated her boat.

“So, um. Do you wanna come up to my room today after work? I’d love to hear what you think of the book.” She pointed to the book in your hands and you had officially decided that this creepy interaction with Victoria was over. You slammed the book in your hands and stood, hastily explaining that your break was over and you’d have to be heading back to work now. You started sprinting in the other direction, without looking back you decided you could finish the rest of your break in the break room. It would be dull and boring, but at least this random girl couldn’t get to you. 

 

You still had another half an hour of your break, you sat down at the table in the break room trying to push the weird interaction out of your head. You set the book on the table, wondering why she was so attached to a book about a fictional character. You sighed, taking a second to calm your nerves that had wound themselves up as you ran away from her, you were worried about her following you back to work. 

As you did, you noticed something strange about your book. Toward the end the pages looked a bit thicker than usual, as if something had been inserted into the pages. You opened the book to the different looking page and found a folded up piece of paper at the edge of the pages. You picked up it, completely confused as to how a note would have ended up in your book. It had sat in your bag in your locker the entire time at work, the only time you were away from it was when you had first gotten to work and your coworker asked you to turn around to show you something on his phone. Could someone really have picked up your book and slipped a note in there that quickly?

You unfolded it, thinking it was going to be a schedule change or an invite to a work party or something, but you had been wrong.

  
  


_ To my love, T.K. _

_ I miss you from the hairs on the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It’s been 205 days since I’ve said goodbye and every day I miss you more and more. I know that you’re doing great things for me and for you, but you’ll never know how much my heart breaks when I look at the photos of you and reminisce on the good times we’ve had together. Every time I close my eyes I can see your beautiful face, from the day we met to the day you left me you hadn’t changed a bit. I miss you, come home. You’re always welcome to come back home. _

_ Yours always, K.R. _

 

You stared at the note completely taken aback. Another love note to T.K. from K.R. had come from the book after you were sure you had plucked the one and only note from the pages. You looked around, worried that someone was reading the note over your shoulder or something. Was this some sort of sick joke? Had that girl broken into your home last night and put this note in here? Should you call the cops? 

You folded the note back up, you were over thinking everything. Obviously the note is so thick that it stuck in between the pages and didn’t come out when you shook it last night, that was all. This had nothing to do with Victoria or how strange she was, it was simply because someone left two notes in your book. For one final measure you shook the book as hard as you could, flipped through the pages and were 100 percent positive there were no more notes to get stuck anywhere and continued on reading for the rest of your break.

As the work day went on thoughts of the girl were pushed further and further into the back of your mind. It was always pretty busy, there just simply was no time to think about her. When 7 pm came around you clocked out, eager to get home and cook your favorite macaroni and cheese dish and watch the newest episode of your favorite series. You clocked out, shed your work uniform, threw it into the laundry chute and headed out the door, your walk home only took about 15 minutes and you listened to the music from your Amazon account the entire way there.

You had made yourself dinner and had retired to your bedroom where you were so engrossed in the new episode of your TV show that you had almost fallen asleep. Laying there, occasionally nodding off in bed sitting up against some pillows you heard some knocking. At first you ignored it, thinking it was just in the show, but then you kept hearing it, even after the credits began to roll. You sat up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as the knocking continued. It was 9 o clock at night, who would be knocking on your door this late? You stretched, thinking it might have been one of your friends coming over for some unannounced late night food date or something.

Tiredly you made your way to the door, not thinking to look through your peephole as you unlocked the bottom lock on your door handle.  You opened the door slowly and immediately jumped back to see the last person you were ever expecting to see on your doorstep. 

“What, what are you doing--” You shouted at Victoria as she cowered on your doormat. “How did you find my house?” You demanded answers, this was not normal in the slightest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She said, shaking as if she was afraid of you. You stared at her with a face of disgust, this girl had just turned into a stalker and you were terrified. “But, you’re the only one I can go to. You’re the only one who will understand!” You groaned before trying to shut the door in her face, but she took a hold of it and forced it open again. “Please, just listen to me! I'm sorry that I followed you home, but I need help!” She stammered, tears now running down her face. “My boyfriend, my domestic partner or whatever was so abusive and controlling, I have no one else to turn to. Please, you need to help me!”

“Look, if you’re being abused you need to go to the cops. I can’t help--”

“You read the book! You understand what I’m going through!” You cringed, this girl was so obsessed with that fucking book you took from her it was scary. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now leave--”

“You know him! You know my boyfriend,” She sniffed, wiped the tears from her face as she looked deep down into your soul, suddenly you knew what she was talking about. “You’ve been reading about him, I know you know how bad he is. He’s looking for me.”

“Oh my god…” You stated in complete disbelief as the reality of the situation hit you hard. This girl actually thinks she’s dating Kylo Ren. “Lady, you need help, but not the kind that I can give you.” You said as you pushed with all of your might against the door. “No! Please listen!” She said, now pushing against the door with her entire body. “He’s looking for me, he wants me to come back to him but I can’t! I was hoping my conscious would be eased if I simply got rid of the book, but it’s not doing me any good knowing he’s going to come get  _ you  _ instead.” She held her hand out to you as she took in your terrified expression. This girl was crazy, you felt like she was going to find some way to kill you in your own apartment. 

“So please, give me the book back. He’s going to come after you if you don’t give it back.” She looked so sincere, like she believed every absurd word that came out of her mouth. “Give it back, now before it’s too late!” You shook your head, whatever she believed the book was going to do to you was obviously as Ludacris as she was, you felt like giving her the book would be enabling her. So you shouted at her to get off your property one more time, loud enough to try and alert your neighbors of the matter. 

“You’re wrong! He’s going to take you, I need you to believe me, please!” She shouted just as loud as you had, but then she took a minute to gulp and let her words sink into you before she whispered something sinister to you:

“Has he started sending the notes yet?” 

That was it. That question was enough to convince you that you needed to get as far away from her as possible. With all of your might you shoved your entire body at the door, shouting for help from your neighbors at the top of your lungs. “I’m calling the cops!” You said as you frantically dug into your pajama pant pocket for your phone. The fact that you pulled a surprise note out of the book today coupled with what she just said to you sent chills down your spine. You wanted so badly to believe that it was just some conspiracy as well as a simple coincidence, but the smallest piece of your brain started to believe what she was saying. It seemed so paranormal and so freaky, you didn’t want to believe that someone was watching you with that book, you wanted to believe that this girl, Victoria, was just insane.

You yelled and yelled and yelled until two of your neighbors finally left their homes, gasping as they saw her squeezing through a crack in your front door they took ahold of her, threw her to the floor while you called the cops. As she squirmed under your neighbor's arms she looked at you, so hurt as you described what she looked like to the cops. She looked like she genuinely wanted to help keep you safe from this Kylo Ren character. You looked away, back into your apartment and at the book that sat on the table right as the dispatcher said she would be sending someone right over. You didn’t know what to do from here, you could either close the door and stay away from this crazy person or stand where you were and wait for the cops under her intense and freaky gaze. She murmured, begging you for the book back but you refused to give it to her. Clearly she had enough issues and you didn’t want her running around town doing the same thing to someone else. You turned from the door and eyeballed the fireplace that you never used, maybe it would be best for you to destroy the book once all this was said and done. It all seemed to be so strange, but you didn’t want to take the chance of this woman being genuine and ending up dead for not listening to her.

It only took about ten minutes before the cops showed up and were handcuffing Victoria, questioning you on what happened and how you’d like to proceed from here. You took another look at her as the cops began standing her up, in a way you felt bad for her. You explained that you didn’t want to press charges, you just wanted her to seek some professional help. No one should be this attached to a fictional character, not so much so they go out of their way to attack a stranger in the characters name. As they were dragging her out she had one more piece of advice for you, and what would you know it was about the book:

“Whatever you do, don’t put one of the notes in the 323rd page.” You bit your lip as you watched the cops walk her away from your door, down the stairs and into the mess of red, white, and blue lights. You shivered, the look on her face as she uttered that last sentence caused goosebumps to break out over your flesh. It was time, time to burn the fucking book that was causing all this drama and move on with your life. Even if you couldn’t one-up your friends at the movies later on this month, you had to do this. It wasn’t worth the amount of grief it had caused you.

You took your lighter and lit the pile of logs in the fireplace, fanning the flames so that they spread and grew bigger. A warm, glowy feeling grew around you as your fireplace slowly went from nothing but black logs to vibrant oranges, yellows, and reds. It reminded you of your home in Virginia with your parents, and this was the reason why you didn't often activate the fireplace.

You ambled over to your table where you picked up the book, wondering what Victoria meant by the 323rd page. Your curiosity grew over you as you flipped to said page, just to see if there would be something different, some kind of photo or chant or something that stood out from the rest of the book. You nervously leafed the pages as you made it to page 320, the small, sad voice in the back of your mind begging you not to. You came to the 322nd page and held it in your hand, not really sure if you wanted to find out if everything Victoria had said was true. You tried so hard to reason with yourself that it was impossible, Kylo Ren could not jump out of this book and kidnap you, kill you, or torture you just as he did with the other fictional characters in this book. All that was going to be on the other side of this page was more text about the character and his life. That was it, that was all. So with a sharp intake of breath you closed your eyes, counted to three, and turned the page.

You were horrified at what was sitting there, waiting for you to discover it.

Three torn up pieces of paper of varying sizes sat atop the pages, just like the first love note you had found. You gasped, dropped the book on the table as the image of Victoria asking you about if he had sent you any notes was displayed in your mind. You had shaken the book with everything you had in the break room at work today, flipped through almost all the pages and made sure with 100 percent certainty that there were no more love notes in the book. And yet? There were now three more sitting in the book just waiting for you to read them.

Should you? Should you see what was written from K.R. tonight? Or should you just toss the book and every one of the notes in the fire and try not to think about them for the rest of your life? The sane, right choice seemed so obvious. Just take the book and throw it into the fire, forget about it, forget about Victoria, and forget about Ben Solo. In fact, by now you had sworn off the new movie because you wanted nothing to do with Star Wars at all after this shit show.

But you just had to know. You  _ had  _ to know what these mysterious notes said. These magical notes addressed to T.K. from K.R. that appeared out of thin air, always about how much T.K. was missed and about how much K.R. loved them. It was sickening for someone who had been single for 2 years now, especially if T.K. was, indeed, Victoria. To you it seemed like she was writing the letters to herself, she had an unhealthy obsession with Kylo Ren and was writing love notes to herself that somehow stuck in between the pages and didn’t move.

That explanation made no sense whatsoever. In fact, it only made your skin crawl even more.

You had to know, you had to know what the notes said before tossing them into the fire. If this was going to be the last thing you saw before you burned a book, at least it would be entertaining to say the very least. 

You slowly opened the book, flipped to the 323rd page again and gathered up the notes, straightening them out in your hands and feasting your eyes upon the scribbles that were written out on the paper:

 

_ To my beautiful T.K. _

 

_ I don’t know if you believe me or not, but not a day goes by where I don't think of you. Your beautiful hair, your gorgeous eyes, your alluring body, your soft skin. When we made love all I could concentrate on was you, and now that we’re apart you’re the only thing on my mind. I’ll say it ten thousand times, I miss you and I want you to come back home.  _

 

_ Love, K.R. _

 

You realized that, after everything that had transpired tonight, these notes now gave off a stalker vibe-- _ especially  _ if everything Victoria was saying is true and these notes were directed to her. You set the first one in the back of the pile in your hands and moved onto the next one:

 

_ T.K., the love of my life _

 

_ I can feel your pain, feel your fear, and feel your anxiety. I wish you’d relax, whenever I reach out to you and feel you suffering I cry. I’m sitting in the library in tears as I feel other people putting their hands on you in an unsafe way. I hate them, I don’t even know who they are and I hate them. If I could I would come down there and kill them, but I know you don’t want me anywhere near you. I wish you’d come home so I could protect you, but you and I both know the real reason why I sent you so far away. I want you back, my love. I want you back more than you could ever imagine. _

 

_ Love, K.R. _

 

You felt yourself break out in a cold sweat, it seemed as if K.R. was speaking about Victoria getting arrested. You didn’t want to think about it, that was the last thing on your mind as you moved it to the back of your hand, finally getting around to reading the last note:

 

_ Dearest T.K. _

 

_ What is going on down there? I feel you’re in such distress. Why aren’t you replying to me? Let me know that you’re safe, please. I can’t stand the thought of losing you. Send me a letter, a note, something to let me know that you’re alive and doing well. Sending you away was a mistake, you’re not safe down there. Please come home! _

 

_ Love, K.R. _

 

That was enough to make you place the newest notes into the book and immediately carry it over to the fireplace. The book was haunted, it was the only explanation you could come up with. It was haunted and there was a demon about to come after you now that you had gone through those notes. Without any second thoughts you tossed the book into the hungry flames, you didn’t believe in ghosts until now, now you’d do anything to go back in time and not go anywhere near the yard sale if it meant you wouldn’t have opened a paranormal portal for demons and poltergeists alike. You were afraid, tears ran down your cheeks as you realized now you really were in danger.

You sat there on the couch, watching the book burn, turning black and into heavy ash as you felt yourself calm down. Now you wouldn’t be haunted anymore, right? There was no more portal for the ghosts to get to you. Right?

You shook, this was ridiculous. You took a deep breath, trying once again to reason with yourself that those notes had just been stuck extra hard on that page, it was possible that the spine was so strict that it didn't release the notes when you shook it. Ghosts didn’t exist, the book was just a book, and that woman, Victoria, was crazy. None of what she said was true and you hadn’t summoned any demons into your home. You exhaled, you were disappointed in yourself for being so superstitious. 

You curled into a ball on your couch, feeling so sleepy so suddenly. You took a look at the clock on the top of your television, it was going on midnight. This entire fiasco lasted three hours, no wonder you were so tired. The yellow and orange flames began to dance into a blur as your eyelids now felt so heavy. All you had left to do now was sleep, you had work in the morning and you couldn’t be late. So you slept, not knowing that when you woke up, life as you knew it would change so dramatically. 

Maybe, just maybe, you should have listened to Victoria. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so into this story I had to post this second chapter lol. Off to work on my other WIPs now!


	3. Chapter 3

When you woke up you felt as if you were hungover and hungover bad. From the cold, hard surface underneath of you, you could tell you had not fallen asleep in bed. You lifted your head, your face sticking to the floor just a bit from the drool that had fallen from between your lips. Your mind began racing to remember the last time you had mopped your kitchen floor, as that was obviously where you were. But the more you thought, the more your head hurt. What you had to do was stand up, get a glass of water and go get some painkillers from your bathroom, it was the only thing that would cure this god awful headache. But you struggled with the first task: Standing up.

“Freeze!” Someone shouted from above you. You heard clicking as if someone had drawn a weapon on you. Your eyes shot open and your headache seemed to dull as you realized you might be in some trouble. You began positioning yourself so that you could see what was going on, but something small and round was pressed into your forehead and your shoulders, something that felt like it could be the barrel of a gun. “I said freeze!” There was the voice again, a peculiar voice that almost sounded like it could be coming from a radio. “Oh, okay.” You slurred, your vision was still hazy and now you really felt like you were going to vomit. The sound of boots thumping toward you made you strain your eyes above you, you could see several pairs of stark white boots contrasting on the black linoleum floor coming toward you.  _ Oh god.  _ You thought to yourself.  _ What kind of trouble did you get yourself into while drunk last night? _

“Who is this person?”

“Where did she come from?”

“Why is she dressed like that?” 

You could tell the dialog was coming from different people, but they all sounded the same. This was weird, were you in prison? You didn’t even remember drinking last night, didn’t even remember getting up and going to your bed last night, but somehow here you are: Somewhere where there is a heavy military presence that clearly didn’t know who you were. You had started to cry, the fact that you couldn’t remember what had made you end up in this situation was awful and you were so frightened that you felt like you were going to throw up.

“Shoot her, she’s a trespasser! She’s not one of us.” One of them said, and you immediately jumped up, spinning around so that you were laying on your back. The image that was displayed before you terrified you.

Six men in white uniforms, complete with white helmets that disguised their identities, all had different sized guns pointed at you. Some were small like pistols, others were long like rifles. And they all were pointed right at your head as if you were a big time criminal of some sort. “No! You don’t understand! I haven’t done anything wrong!” You said, shaking in your small pajama set. You looked down the length of your body at your naked legs and feet, your little blue pajama shorts, and your sleeping tank that had Ariel from the  Little Mermaid printed on it. What harm could you have possibly done dressed like this? 

“Prepare to die, trespasser.” One of the men with a rifle said as he pressed a button on his gun and it made a high pitch whining noise. You began openly sobbing, begging for your life to be spared. You needed to talk to someone in charge, explain this silly situation so that you could go back home. You didn’t want to die, you didn’t deserve this type of treatment.

“Wait!” One of them called out, dropping his weapon from you and pressing a button on the side of his helmet. “Commander, yes there’s a situation at the library.” He said looking away, his comrades looked over at his as well. “A trespasser, a woman with very little clothes on has appeared on the floor. She must have snuck in and passed out on the floor.” There was more silence, then the one who was speaking to their “Commander” nodded his head. “Right away sir.” He affirmed before dropping his hand and looking around to the rest of the people who had guns pointed at you. “The Commander wants her taken to his quarters right away.”

“What? Why?” One of them said, the arm holding his pistol fell and swung at his side. “She’s not from here! She’s a tres-” The one who had spoken to the Commander in his helmet held his hand up to silence him. “Commander’s orders.” He said before marching away. The one that wanted you killed so bad sighed and shook his head, then reached down and seized you by the arm and pulled you to your feet. “March, trespasser!” He demanded, pressing the but of his gun into your spine. The Commander, you were sure the Commander could help you get back home! 

It was a long walk and involved an elevator ride up several floors, but soon you were standing in front of a door, a door that slid open automatically. You were pushed into the darkness without another word from the soldiers, landing flat on your stomach. The doors closed behind you and now you were in total darkness. You looked around, sat yourself up on your knees as your eyes adjusted to the darkness.

“I knew you’d come back to me.” The sound of a man's voice rang out in front of you and you shied away. Nothing good could come from being alone in a dark room with a man you didn’t know. A light came on above him and you could clearly see he was a big man. Tall, muscular, and scary looking even though you were only looking at the back of his head. He had a full head of black ear length hair that looked so soft and shined beautifully in the light. His long, muscular arms were crossed behind his back and his gloved hands were holding one another. He looked so calm, full of power and relaxed. 

A sickening thought raced through your mind. Ben Solo was described like this man in the book you had read. Tall, black hair, and brooding. But Ben Solo was a character in a book about science fiction, Ben Solo was not real. Victoria was crazy, Ben Solo and Kylo Ren, they are fictional characters and there’s no way Kylo Ren can be standing right here in front of you. 

You gulped as the man started turning around to face you, you kept repeating in your head that it was impossible to be in the Star Wars universe as he did. This was not Ben Solo, this was not Kylo Ren. This was some other man, a real man that was a real threat toward you and your wellbeing. A man that could hopefully help you get home once you explained the crazy chain of events that led you here in the first place.

“I’ve missed you, my love. Have you missed--” He was now facing you, the neutral look on his face before had now morphed into one of shock once he laid his hazel eyes on you. He squinted his eyes before taking a few thunderous steps up to you, the closer he got the more nervous you became and you couldn’t get out of the way fast enough before he had seized you by the front of your sleeping shirt and pulled you to your feet. 

You were humiliated, your shirt was so loose that when he pulled you close to him it lifted and your breasts were on full display for this stranger. Luckily for you he wasn’t looking at your body, he had all of his attention trained on your face. “Who are  _ you _ ?” He asked, his breath smelled fresh and his face was slowly turning red. Obviously you weren’t the one he was expecting, and he was angry that you were here. “I’m, I’m….” You stammered, unable to complete a sentence as you stood up on the very tips of your toes. “Please, you have to help me get back home! I don’t know how I got here, I’m not from here but--” You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him your name, if he was going to give you one opportunity to speak then you wanted him to know that this was an unfortunate mix up. 

“How did you get into the library?” He shouted, cutting off your feeble explanation. “I don’t know sir! I just woke up on the floor, and I don’t know where I was or how I got here!” You said, now letting loose all of your tears. You gripped his wrist as he lifted you a fraction of an inch higher and now you were kicking your legs in the air. “The book, do you have the book?” You shook your head, you woke up with no book. He growled at you as he set you down but didn’t let go of your shirt. He started walking toward the door, his gait was so quick it was hard for you to keep up but you ran after him, too afraid that he’d rip your shirt and you’d have to be bare chested for the rest of your time in this prison. 

He pulled you through the hallways and back into the elevator you came from, you stood there behind him and stared at the back of his head silently. This place that you somehow ended up had such an uncanny resemblance to the place where the Ben Solo book took place. The men in white uniforms looked like Storm Troopers, their guns looked like blasters and this place was dark just like the way the Finalizer was described. You gulped as you thought more about this man, he looked like Ben Solo, but there was no way he was Ben Solo. The book took place in a fictional universe, it was physically impossible for you to have ended up in the book. 

But the man was so scary, this place was so scary that you could believe you were in some kind of danger. 

When you had arrived on the floor he wanted to take you to he turned around and looked at you for a hot second before taking ahold of the front of your shirt again and pulling you quickly behind him. Sure enough you found yourself being pulled back into the library and right to the place where you woke up. He let go of your shirt in favor of fishing through the spines on the middle shelf, evidently he did not find what he was looking for because he growled and took you by your shirt again. 

“Where is the book?!” He asked angrily, baring his teeth at you like he wanted to hurt you. You shook your head again, telling him you didn’t know what he was talking about. “You had to have come here through the book, the book about Ben Solo. Where is it?” 

You blinked at him, this must be a dream. You couldn’t help but to laugh at the mention of the book that had caused you so much trouble of the past few days. It seemed to upset him, he threw you to the floor and cringed at the pain in your back. “What did you do with the book you little bitch?” He asked, you were now thoroughly creeped out. Who was this man? Was he working with Victoria? “I burned it!” You shouted at him and his eyes widened. He took a panicked look at the shelf once again before he looked at you, his face burning with rage. “You  _ what _ ?” He shouted, you could hear people running out of the library all around you. 

“I burned it! The book about Ben Solo was causing me so much grief, I had to get rid of it!” You shouted, feeling like you had officially lost your mind. 

The man howled, now losing his temper just as the Kylo Ren character did often. He drew his weapon, a lightsaber if you remembered correctly, and began slashing the bookshelf to pieces. Over the whizzing and the sound of the books being shredded he was shouting, no doubt angry at the fact that you had burned the creepy book that clearly brought the crazies to you. 

You were terrified, even if this was a dream, or a simulation, or something you knew the red blade could hurt you. You quietly flipped yourself onto your stomach and tried to crawl away from him, you wanted to go home, you wanted to be nowhere near this man that didn’t want anything to do with you.

You didn’t get very far before the horrifying noises behind you stopped and suddenly his gloved hand was around your ankle, dragging you back to him so fast you could tell you’d have rug burn on your stomach and knees. “You burned the only way she had to come home! Now she can never get home and I can’t send you back!” He yelled right in your ears, the smell of smoke and burning paper filled your nostrils as you took in what he was saying.

_ You can never go back home. _

“This is only a dream, I can go back home when I want to.” You shouted back at him, covering your ears like a child. “You’re not real, you’re not Ben Solo! This place isn’t real! This book--”

You yelped as he slapped you across the face so hard you went tumbling a foot to your right. You opened your eyes thinking that was it, that action was enough to wake you up and you’d be at home safe in your bed. But no, you were still sitting amongst the burning remains of the library with the man staring right down at you, still angry and still looking like he was going to kill you for burning that book. You started crying again as you rubbed your now burning red cheek, this was all now becoming a reality for you. “You will pay for you what you’ve done.” He said, taking you by your messy bed head and dragging you along the floor of the library. “The love of my life will never be able to come back to me.  _ Because of you _ .” You could tell by the strain of his voice that he was beginning to cry, this situation just kept getting stranger and stranger and more dangerous as time went on. What choice did you have now other than to sit on your ass while he painfully pulled you along by your hair? Stare at the people looking down at you with a looks of confustion and pity. 

Whatever this was, whoever this man was, and whoever Victoria really was, it was real. Too real, and too terrifying for you to be able to think it was all a work of fiction.

 

He had dragged you all the way to another hallway with another set of rooms. You watched from the floor as punched in a numerical code and the doors opened to reveal a surprisingly empty room. He threw you in, the tile was cold under your butt and for some reason it made you feel lonely even though he was in there with you. You took a look around, there was a drain in the center of the floor but that seemed to be it. Was this some kind of prison cell? Was he going to leave you here to rot to death? 

“How did you come in possession of the book?” He asked coldly. You sniffed, wiped the tears away as you straightened your back just a tad. “Just to be clear, we’re talking about the book about Ben Solo, right?” You whimpered quietly, he had been looking for some other book when he brought you back to the library. “Yes you fucking idiot! The book that was sent to Earth with her, the only way she had to come back.” He shouted at you and you shrank away from him, why did he have to be so abrasive? 

“The book, I-I got it from a yard sale.” He crouched down in front of you. “A  _ yard sale _ ? What the hell is a yard sale?” You flinched at his words, thinking he was going to hit you again. “It’s like, like a place where you sell things you don’t want.” 

“Like the marketplace on Tatooine?” He asked, looking at you as if you had just told him a fairytale. You nodded your head. Sure, not like you had ever been there before. He huffed, looking to your right as he thought on your words. “There’s no way she would have sold that book. It was our only of communicating with each other.” His eyes flashed to yours, you had to admit that he was a very good looking man, but only when he wasn’t abusing you like he was now. 

“No, she wouldn’t have sold it. You must have stolen it from her.” Suddenly he became the angry man he had been before, standing and towering over you once again. “You stole it from her and you beat her up the previous day!”

“No! No I swear to god I didn’t steal it from her!” You began to panic as he wound his arm back, this time you were faster than he was and was able to dodge his assault. “This woman, Victoria was her name. She gave me the book! I swear I didn’t take it from anyone.” Once again he looked at you puzzled, like he didn’t believe a word you had said. “Victoria? Who the hell is Victoria?” 

“I got the book from her, then she started stalking me and asking for the book back. I had never seen her a day in my life before.” You whimpered, trying your best to hold back your tears. “Victoria, right? That’s who you’re looking for?” Victoria. My, how you wished you had been dealing with her instead of with this man whom you still refused to believe was Kylo Ren. He shook his head. “I don’t know anyone named Victoria, and neither did she.” You shrugged, taking in the fact that he had calmed himself. “Yes, Victoria. I got the book from her. I don’t know where she would have gotten the book from, but I got it from her.” 

“Why would she want the book back if the book didn’t belong to her in the first place?” You looked down at the drain in the floor, wishing you could liquify and slide deep down into the pipes of this place, away from this disturbed man. “I don’t know what to tell you. She followed me home one night and said she needed it back, because she didn’t want someone named Kylo Ren coming after me.” 

“Why would I be coming after you, you useless little girl?” You narrowed your eyes at him, was this really the big bad man in that book? It sure made sense, but you still hadn’t made up in your mind if this was real or not, if you had really somehow found yourself in the Star Wars universe. “I don’t know, she said...she said you…” Your speech faltered as his hungry eyes begged you for more information, it did not seem to be a good idea to tell him what that woman said about him, about how abusive he was and about how afraid she was of him. 

“She said I what?” He interrupted your train of thought, then a sudden realization hit you like a punch to the gut.

“Oh my god, if you’re Kylo Ren, then you must have been the one who wrote all those notes!” All of those poetic loves notes came from this big scary man, the same man that had hit you and called so so many curses wrote those beautiful notes to his lover. His eyes widened and a wild look of shock and embarrassment flashed  across his face. “You read those notes?” 

“They came through the book, I just thought they were old, and--”

“Those notes were meant for her! Not for you or that other girl!” In a flash Kylo had drawn his saber and was now headed toward the wall closest to you, swinging it wildly and causing more destruction that scared you half to death. This was the angriest human being you had ever seen before, much like the Kylo character in the book you read. Never had you met someone with anger issues so bad they had to take their anger out on the environment around them. 

The man had slashed and yelled for what seemed like an eternity, you feared he was going to turn around and harm you, just like you were afraid of his blade in the library. Clearly he was very attached to this T.K. and valued their privacy, you once again found yourself wishing you had never taken the book from Victoria.

Finally, when he seemed to calm he was standing facing away from you, his lightsaber crackling at his side he was breathing deeply, his head bent toward the ground looking quite tired and defeated. Now was your chance, you could say something to end this situation, to get yourself sent back home and run far, far away from the entire DMV where these two maniacs can’t get to you anymore. 

“I, I can help you.” You said, feeling like you were walking on broken glass, embers, and eggshells as you spoke to him. Staying silent would have meant you were at his mercy, silence was acceptance of the fate he had in store for you. You had to get yourself out of here and back to a sense of safety and normalcy, and you could only do that by standing up for yourself.

He turned, his look of seriousness made your heart flutter in your chest. It was now or never, speak and survive or stay silent and die here in this fictional universe. 

“I know where Victoria is staying, I can go talk to her and get the answers you want.” You stood, sheepishly walking over to him as if you were approaching a wild animal. “You just have to get me back to my home.” He looked you up and down with his eyes, unsure of what you were saying. “We can find her, whoever you’re looking for and we can get her back to you. All you have to do is send me back to Earth.” You held your hand out to him, cringing at the last part of your sentence about how unreal it sounded. You were pleading with your captor to let you back to Earth, something you legitimately never thought you would be saying ever. 

He turned sharply on his heel and began heading toward the door. “Not necessary.” Was all he said as he shoved into you on his way out. He took five long steps and he was out the door, closing it loudly behind him. “Wait!” You shouted, running after him and throwing yourself against the door. A mechanical noise on the other side of it told you it had been locked in, now you really began to panic. “You can’t just leave me in here! I told you I could help you!” You said, standing up on the tips of your toes to look out between the bars of the window.

“Prepare a cell, admit her as a prisoner and wait for my instructions.” Kylo said to one of the storm troopers that seemed to have been standing outside that room the entire time. “Don’t leave me here, Kylo please!” You shouted, the feeling of hopelessness creeping up your spine once again. Suddenly his angry red face appeared in the bars, as he did he slammed his palms on the steel, creating a loud, horrifying noise and causing you to fall right to the floor on your ass. “That’s Commander Ren to you!” He shouted, everything was quiet right afterword you could hear his thunderous boots stepping away from your door. 

You were alone, alone and unsure how far away from home you were. You were under control of an angry man that had come close to killing you twice now, at his mercy since he believed you had stolen what seemed to be one of his most prized possessions from the woman he loved. You lay down, curled into a ball and hugged your knees tight as tears began to fall from your eyes once again. You would do anything in your power to be able to contact your family in the moment, even they would make for nicer company than the people you had met in this other universe you were dragged into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy everyone is enjoying this neat little story idea I've come up with. Thank you for your support! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting on the floor of the room you were interrogated in, you had figured it all out. That man was not Kylo Ren, he was the man that plays Kylo Ren, the man who brings Kylo Ren the character to life. Allan? Aiden? You couldn’t recall the actor's name to save your life, but you still had everything figured it out. The storm troopers were all actors, Victoria was an actor, everyone you had met in the last few days was just an actor. This was all a setup for some kind of game show. Your friends had probably paid a lot of money for you to have been pranked this hard, which wasn’t very nice since Aiden/Allen had slapped the mess out of you and scared you nearly to death. But oh well, it was time for this all to end, you had assumed they had notified your work for this stupid prank but you really felt like you had to get back now.

After laying in a ball and crying for 15 minutes or so, after figuring out what this grand slam plan was all about you stood and made your way to the small window, seeing two storm troopers guarding the door right outside of the corners. “Okay everyone, this isn’t funny anymore.” You said, aware of how defeated you sounded. Nobody moved, nobody even looked at you. “I know you guys are actors, who set you up?” You said, all of the sudden laughing at how stupid this was. “Was it Tiffany? I bet it was Tiffany.” You giggled, wiping your stinging eyeballs, this was hardly worth crying over anymore now that you knew it was all fake. You thought about how you’d get your closest work friend back for all of this havoc she costed you. “Tiff! You dirty bitch, I know it was you!” You shouted, thinking maybe she was one of the ones hiding under the white armor. One of the storm troopers turned around and looked at you from the other side of the bars, you were certain this would be when she would reveal herself. 

“Stand back, prisoner.” They said, drawing their gun on you. The high pitched whining from earlier buzzed in your ears and you immediately backed down. Those weapons looked so realistic and genuinely seemed like they could hurt you, you had decided you’d play along for now, but at some point this game had to end. You didn’t think you had the strength to be this scared for much longer, surely these people would show some mercy sometime and end your suffering.

You paced the floor, looking at the shiny walls and wondering what your fate was going to be. You had heard the man say you’d become a prisoner, but that was only to scare you. He wouldn’t actually put you in a prison. You hadn’t done anything wrong other than burn that book. Even in other universes burning books was never worth prison time, it would only make sense that, if you were in another universe, it wouldn’t punishable with prison. So you paced, only allowing positive thoughts about your situation to run through your mind.

The door opened with an unsettling clank and in marched two storm troopers. Surely this was it? This is when they’d reveal themselves to just be regular actors running a prank show?

The fact that they forcibly took you by your arms and led you out of that room told you no, this would not be the time that they revealed themselves. 

You struggled to keep up with them as they hauled you once again through the twisted corridors that all looked the same. They walked you all the way up to a heavy steel door, from the noises coming from the other side you could tell there were several people behind that door. Surely this wasn’t what you thought it was. They can’t have a prison with lots of people on a prank show, there was no way.

One of your keepers reached into his belt to grab a key, unlocked the door and you were met with a room with thousands of cells, there were rows stacked on top of rows and almost all of them seemed to be occupied. This was the first time you had believed this was real life, because not only were there just regular humans, but there were some creatures you had never seen before in your life. Big, bulbous slimy creatures that looked like Slimer from  _ GhostBusters. _ Thin, purple, women with stringy hair that looked like they could be Medusa. Actual alien looking creatures that had big heads and big black, dead looking eyes. You were terrified, the prospect of this being just a stupid joke had gone right out the window.

You freaked out, pushing back on their arms and screaming as loud as you could. “No, please! I’m innocent, you can’t lock me up with these monsters!” You said, they simply dragged you forward, past creatures with ten foot long tongues and tentacles and scales. Some of them were laughing at you, some of them were excited by your presence; you could make out some of their disgusting comments about you being ‘fresh pleasure material,’ others spoke in languages you had never heard of in your life. 

You felt as if you were going to get sick as they dragged you further and further into the prison until finally they came across an open cell, you had assumed correctly that it was yours as they forced you into it. 

“Please, I don’t understand why I’m here. You can’t lock me up here! I haven’t done anything wrong!” You begged them to understand, to hear your pleas and know that you hadn’t done anything to deserve to be here. “Be quiet, Prisoner 4117.” One of them said, pushing you further into the cell and over to the back wall. “Palms against the wall and legs spread apart.” He said, you complied, too afraid for your life at this point. This was real, these people could hurt you. 

The storm troopers ran their hands all over your body, over your legs, thighs, ass, abdomen, and they seemed to take a while to fondle your breasts. You closed your eyes, biting down on your tongue and trying to convince yourself that it was routine, they hadn’t actually molested you like you thought. “Clear.” One of them said, you turned around thinking it was over, they’d be leaving you alone now and you’d find some way to fight your way out of this hellish nightmare. 

But no, once again you were wrong. One of the troopers began fiddling with his belt and all of the sudden there was a knife at your back. You gasped, turned to see what was going on and was met with another knife from the other trooper being held at your neck. “You'd better hold still, little girl. Wouldn’t want us to  _ accidentally  _ cut that beautiful skin.” He whispered in your ear, you nodded as you realized a little too late what was going to happen to you.

The sound of the fabric of your favorite pajamas being slashed caused tears to well in your eyes, they were cutting your clothing to shreds. “Please, I don’t have a bra on. Let me just--”

“How many times do we have to tell you to shut the fuck up?” The trooper that was slashing your pajama shorts pressed the tip of his knife into the flesh of your thigh. You trembled at the intrusion, finally giving into your tears as you tried to stand as still as possible. You looked down in time to see your beloved Ariel shirt fall to the cell floor, now exposing your chest to the two strangers standing in the cell with you. Your shorts hit the floor next, both garments ripped nearly to shreds. Your tears splashed down onto them, but just as you were standing up the knife was at your hip once again, this time slashing into your purple underwear. 

You wanted to protest, ask them to please not expose you like this to all of these alien creatures, but were too afraid of them bringing harm to you. The cold air clung to your skin like water, you shivered as you had no idea what was coming next for you.

“Look at the body on this one.” One of them said, right before smacking your ass loudly and unapologetically. You shrieked, now sexually assaulted by your captors you weren’t sure how much lower your day in the Twilight Zone could get. “Clothes on the bed, prisoner. Dress and you’re free to do whatever you please.” One of them said as if you were free to go, the other laughing maniacally as the two began walking out of your cell. You wanted to chase them, to beg them not to leave you and tell them there was some sort of mix up, but you were naked. The further you went from the wall the more of a chance you got to be seen by all of these other prisoners. 

You cowered in the corner as they moved the cell door and locked it. You were now officially a prisoner, a prisoner with no way to contact anyone back at home. 

Your mind told you to move and get clothed, but your feet held you anchored in the corner of that cell. You began to audibly sob as you sunk to the floor, the cold cement wall giving you a harsh wake up call and once again sending you the final signal that this was all real. You were really transported to the Star Wars universe somehow and you were all alone. Was Earth even real? Did Earth exist in this universe? You felt like you needed to ask someone, just to have some kind of closure and to give you just a spark of hope about being able to get back home one day, but unfortunately for you the only other living thing you could see was standing in another cell across from you and they were hardly human.

They had a human-like body, but their head contained a finn and gills. They looked aquatic, but they still smiled at you and spoke English. “You wanna come suck this barb, little girl?” He asked, reaching into his pants and pulling out his cock, which definitely did not look human. It looked spikey, pointed, and sharp, this was not how you imagined aliens would look--in fact, you didn’t believe in aliens until you got  _ here.  _ But the thing currently sexually abusing you from across the hall clearly wasn’t human, wasn’t someone dressed up in a costume, what else were you supposed to think?

You felt like you were going to vomit just looking at this guy pleasuring himself over you, you needed to get clothed and get clothed fast. You stood as swiftly as you could, taking the five steps over to the small cot you quickly took ahold of the grey set of clothes, throwing the shirt over your head as quickly as possible and stepping into the grey pants just as fast. When you were finally fully clothed the man from across the hall looked at you so disappointed. “Oh, come on baby, I was just about to finish!” He said, but you were unapologetic. You slipped under the flimsy thin white blanket in your stiff cot and vowed to stay there for the rest of your life if you had to. As you settled yourself down you heard the man across the hall huff, your eyes widened as you realized the guards didn’t give you any underwear. Your tears started once again, the thought that this wasn’t real kept repeating in your head, but it was. You had finally come to terms with the fact that this was real and all happening to you today. You closed your eyes, thinking that maybe if you were to get some rest everything would be better when you woke up. There would be someone here who realized this was a misunderstanding and could get you home. 

  
  
  


“Hey, guards when is her shower day?” You pried your eyes open, loud clanking noises as well as the unfortunately familiar voice brought your attention to the front of your cell. “How many credits do I have to give you to let me watch you spray her down with lighter fluid, then light a match? Would get me going real quick.” 

“Quiet, prisoner!” You heard a guard step in, when your eyes adjusted you found they were pushing a tray of food through a small slit on your cell door, the act causing a table to eject. You sat up, by the time you were swinging your legs around the guards were doing the same thing to the man across the hall. You debated on whether or not you wanted to eat, truth be told you felt like if you ate you’d be regurgitating it fifteen minutes later. Especially if that creature kept up his horrifying comments and actions you’d never be able to hold anything down. You decided it wasn’t worth it, that lunch or dinner or whatever that was could wait until you were able to speak to someone who could help you get out of here.

So you lay back down, stared at the ceiling just listening to the unearthly noises that surrounded you for hours until you were able to fall back asleep again. 

It felt like you were only able to shut your eyes for half a minute before a loud whistle was blown and you instantly sat straight up in bed.

“Cell and body search! Every prisoner on their feet, hands to the wall, legs spread apart!” There were moans and groans of protest all around you, but could hear the sounds of boots coming down your way. You shot up out of bed, stepped over to the cell door and pressed your body against the bars, sure enough a storm trooper was coming down the hall to your cell. As he approached you started your explanation once again, stammering on about how this was a mistake and you didn’t do anything to end up in prison. 

“Please, let me make one phone call! I’ll call my parents and they’ll tell you! I can even call the police in DC on Earth, I have an alibi!” Your lips moved fast as you frantically tried to explain yourself, but in the end it didn’t work. 

“Learn to follow orders, prisoner!” The storm trooper said, taking you by the throat and pushing you back against the concrete wall. You screamed as he forcibly turned you around, pulled your pants down and “inspected” your groin area by sloppily kneading around with his hands. You cringed as he did the same thing with your shirt, slipping his gloved hands over your skin and groping your breasts in the process. When he finally released you he left you standing there exposed, tears pricking your eyes as this was the second day in a row you had been fondled against your will. 

They picked up your old pajamas and threw them out into the hallway floor, checked under your bed before tearing it apart, throwing the mattress behind them along with your pillow, pillow case, and blanket. You had to dodge all of these items with your pants around your ankles, it was not an easy task. Without saying anything they stepped out of your cell and locked the door behind them. You bent down and hurriedly pulled your pants back up and watched as they entered the man’s cell from across the hall to do the same thing they did to you. You stared down at your broken up bed astounded, is this really what it’s like in prison? They didn’t even put it back together for you, they expected you to do it for them.

Without anything else to do you began setting it back together, lifting the mattress against the frame and dropping it back in place. You’d need a place to sit and think, couldn’t do that while sitting on the floor. As you were placing the bed sheet back over the mattress a familiar noise drew your attention back to your bars. A storm trooper had pushed a tray of food through your cell door, it was breakfast time on Star Killer base. Timidly, you walked up to the tray to inspect your food, found that you were staring at a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast.

The eggs, or egg rather, were served in a perfect circle. You recognized it as the kind of food that’s frozen like a hockey puck before being heated and plated, sort of like in a microwavable breakfast sandwich. The bacon was see-through, probably only about two inches long and made up almost entirely of fat. The most edible looking thing was the toast, which came sliced diagonally and was barely even toasted. You picked up the egg, it was cold and didn’t even fall apart at your fingers; it was like rubber. You gagged, you didn’t want to eat it but you hadn’t had any food since dinner two nights ago now, since the night Victoria attacked you. Slowly you lifted the egg to your mouth and took a bite, it immediately turned to mush as soon as it touched your tongue. You heaved, feeling the immediate need to vomit and spit the nasty food out of your mouth. But you forced yourself to swallow, you were hungry and you knew they absolutely would not allow you to eat anything else.

You stood there forcing yourself to eat, watching the man get his cell searched. You had noted that they only patted him down, didn’t drop his pants or feel his groin like they did you. Your lip quivered, you were certain prisons in America were not this lawless.

You sat choking down your cold egg breakfast when suddenly your vision was covered in black. You took a step back, looking up to find the helmet of none other than Kylo Ren. Your first thought was to run, he was not a nice man and he had already proven to you that he hated you for burning that book of his. But as you stepped further and further into your cell you found that he was unlocking your door, determined to come in there and get you if he had to. “Follow me.” Was all he said, but your feet refused to move. He refused to help you, he only interrogated you about his damn book, you knew nothing good could come by following him. He did an about face and looked down at you, taking three steps into your cell and towering intimidatingly over you. “Would you like me to drag you by your hair again,  _ prisoner _ ?” He asked, you realized you were holding your breath a little too late as you exhaled sharply. You shook your head, leaning up against the wall to get away from him and his large body. “Well then follow me, you fool.” He said, you cringed as he insulted you again, nobody, not even your own parents, had insulted you this much in such a short period of time. It was humiliating, but you were on his heels as soon as he turned and began walking out of your cell, thinking you couldn’t stand being dragged once again.

He led you to the same room he had interrogated you in the first time. You gulped as you took the same position in the center of the room as you did before, Kylo Ren walked up to you and just stared at you from behind his mask. You shivered under his gaze, truly felt like this would be the moment that you died in this separate universe that you swore didn’t exist. He had brought you here to kill you, figured out that there was no point in keeping you if you had betrayed him and couldn't help him find his lady friend. Finally he spoke up, breaking the terrifying silence that existed between you two.

“Tell me what the book looked like.” You blinked, that was definitely not the question you were expecting him to ask you. “The book, the Ben Solo book?” You asked, Kylo nodded his head. You struggled to remember the specifics, was it navy blue or black? Was the text gold or was it plain yellow? How many pages, how thick were the pages? You just couldn’t recall and you worried you’d be punished for not speaking. So you spoke, going with whatever came to mind first. 

“It was black.” You said, waiting for him to acknowledge your answer. “Anything else?” He said, waiting on specifics. “It, it had yellow words, it was real thick.” 

“What was written in it?” 

“Besides love notes?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. He didn’t think it was that funny, telling you to ‘be serious’ and then calling you a prisoner right afterword. You nodded your head frantically, closing your eyes and whispering to him that you were so sorry for making a bad joke. Never in your life did you think you'd be worrying over if a bad joke would be costing you your life. But in this Universe, everything seemed to be backward. “It was called  _ Ben Solo, A Star Wars story _ , and it was written in the same text the movies are made with.” 

“Movies?” He asked, sounding puzzled. You nodded. “Yeah, like, the Star Wars movies?” You said, sounding completely unsure about everything you had just said. “What are you talking about ‘Star Wars?’ What is ‘Star Wars?’” He asked, your eyebrows furrowed as you listened to him ask his question about the Star Wars franchise. “Do, do you  _ really  _ not know what Star Wars is?” You asked, your heart began beating rapidly in your chest. “If I knew what Star Wars was, would I be asking you?” He asked, you looked at the ground, nervously wondering how you would go about explaining Star Wars to someone who was inherently in Star Wars itself. 

“It’s a series of movies that take place in Space.” You started, thinking on as much as you knew about the franchise, which was next to nothing. You explained what you knew about Luke and Leia Skywalker, Han Solo, Darth Vader, and the plot of the movies as you understood. When you were done Kylo hung his head, stepping away from you and into the corner of the room. It was silent for a good minute before he once again spoke up, causing you to jump just a fraction of an inch into the air.

“You mean to tell me, that your people watch us fight and die, like it’s entertainment?” He asked, not bothering to offer a glance over his shoulder at you. “Look, I know it sounds bad but I promise I never watched it.” You began explaining as fast as you could, realizing he was becoming angrier and angrier. “I would never make fun of your war like they would, I’ve never even seen the movies!” You said, feeling your throat constricting as you felt your safety was in jeopardy once again. He turned around fast, so fast you took a step back on instinct fearing he was going to slap you again. He charged at you, and when he finally got up in your comfort zone once again he continued his question, this time much angrier than before.

“Tell me about the girl. Tell me about the girl that gave you the book!” He shouted, and before you knew it you were spouting everything you knew about Victoria off to Kylo.

“She was like my age, she was in Montgomery County Maryland, she was….she was selling all of her things and she stalked me to my job in--”

“What did she look like?!” He roared, you ducked, closed your eyes and looked away from him, the man was unstable and this was the kind of mood he was in when he became physically hostile toward you. You could tell from the sight of his chest rising and falling in such quick succession that he was angry. You had no idea why, you had answered all of his questions just the way he wanted you to. But you continued on, describing her looks as well as you could remember. Blonde hair, blue eyes, round face, little nose. That’s all you could recall and that’s all he would be getting out of you. A beat of silence sat between you before he seemed to calm down, circling you like a hawk and beginning his speech once again. 

“That description does not match Torellia.” You blinked, you had never heard that name in your life. “Is, is that who T.K. is?” Kylo turned his head to you, watching you intently from under his mask. “Torellia Kyral. That’s her name.” He said, stopping in front of you. “I don’t know anyone by the name of Victoria.” He said, his mood had taken such a sharp nose dive. You shook your head, you didn’t know what else to tell him so you told him nothing, simply looked down to your naked feet as you waited for him to move the conversation forward. 

“She’s gone.” He said, and he sounded so sad. “She’s never going to come back, she never  _ can  _ come back.” He spoke, just a small piece inside of you was feeling sorry for him. But you kept your head down, who cared about him and his feelings when he was keeping you so far away from your home?

“Sir, if I may?” You spoke softly, thinking if he was calm then maybe you could finally tell him all of the things Victoria had said about him. He looked at you, waiting for you to go on. “Victoria, she told me that you weren’t that nice to her.” You began, knowing you were stepping on eggshells and taking the risk of him becoming angry at you. But you felt is was important, it didn't seem like Victoria and Torellia were the same person, you thought if you characterized Victoria a little more Kylo would have an easier time identifying her.

Kylo shook his head, beginning to step toward the door of the cell you two were in with a heavy sigh that just barely came through the mouth-piece. “Come, you need to get back to your cell.” At his words your heartbeat accelerated and panic ran through your entire body, you held out your hands to him as you pleaded with him to wait just a minute.

“I can help you, I know Victoria isn’t the girl you’re looking for but she’ll know more than me!” You begged, wanting desperately not to go back to your cell. “Please, just send me back to Earth, I’ll do everything I can to get her back to you!” You pleaded with him, lying to him about finding Victoria for him. In reality, if he were to have found a way to send you home you’d run as far away to DC as possible, you’d fly to California and live there, you’d fly to Japan and live there too, just to feel safe in your surroundings. You understood Victoria’s fears now, you didn’t want this man to ever find you again.

Kylo turned and looked at you over his shoulder, you thought for just a minute that he might oblige you. You were hopeful, this was a very good interaction you had with him. He hadn’t threatened you or hit you, he just wanted more answers from you. He had to let you go, after all you did know where Victoria was staying, you could lead Kylo right to her. She was the one he would want to be talking to, not you.

“Don’t pretend for a minute that your intentions are good.” He said, taking long intimidating steps toward you. “I heard your thoughts, your selfish thoughts about leaving for Earth and running away, not wanting to help me.

“Even if there was a way to get you back, I wouldn’t let you go. You burned that book, the one way I had to communicate with the love of my life!” You wanted to retaliate, to tell him that obviously she was not the love of his life due to the way he treated her, but you were too afraid of him. "You will pay with your life, will suffer every day just as I will have to due to your careless mistake!" He seized you by the front of your shirt and dragged you out of that room, down the hall from which you came. As you struggled to keep up with him you wondered how he knew that you were lying to him, didn't think at the time about the Force and how that entire element would be 100 percent factual now that you had come to accept your fate in this new world. All you did was run after him, trying not to let your shirt rip as you kept up with his pace, admiting defeat to Kylo Ren, the Star Wars character, once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor sad, lonely, Kylo. Poor sad, lonely, scared reader. Hope Kylo doesn't get too attached to her!


	5. Chapter 5

You marked 24 hours by taking note of when the storm troopers came in for a cell and body check and then dropped off breakfast. So far you had counted four days, four days of two storm troopers coming in and molesting you before giving you some of the lowest quality food you had ever eaten in your life. By the third morning you had more or less given up. All of the begging for someone to listen to you, to let you make one phone call to your parents back on Earth, they all fell on deaf ears. Here they were on the 4th evening dropping you a bowl of baked beans, ignoring the fact that you hadn’t eaten in a full day and that you stank to high heaven. You hadn’t showered since the evening you had fallen asleep on your couch and you didn’t know when you would be cleaned next. It was awful, and you were almost certain you would rather die than have to look across the hall and see the wretched aquatic man masturbating over you again and again. But what could you do? You were all alone in the Star Wars universe. All you could do was sit and suffer.

You sat picking at your nails against the wall opposite of the bed, your grey prison uniform had started to turn a dirty brown and black color. You were miserable, the smell of the beans sitting three feet away from you made you feel nauseous and you were sure you wouldn’t be eating them. You sighed, leaning your head back against the wall. Dinner had just been served so the troopers wouldn’t turn the lights out for another few hours. You had a headache and just wanted to sleep.  However, unbeknownst to you, you had an audience watching you as you sat there wallowing in your self-pity. 

“She smells awful.” You jolted at the sound of Kylo Ren’s modulated voice, immediately looked to your right and were met with your real captor and a storm trooper staring at you like you were a circus animal, caged for their amusement. “Her shower day isn’t for another two days, Commander.” The storm trooper explained, but you simply looked away in shame. You were dirty, homesick, and just felt pathetic. “She also hasn’t eaten since lunch two days ago.” They were talking about you as if you weren’t sitting right in front of them, for the first time in your life you had felt less than human. 

You heard your cell door unlocking and sliding open, but refused to look at them. You simply stared down at your fingers, thinking if they wanted to touch you against your will they’d have to force you. You followed the sound of Kylo Ren’s boots as he crossed your cell over to you, then squatted in front of you, clearly he wanted your attention but you closed your eyes, refusing to even entertain what he had to say to you. The man was bad news, having jailed you, slapped you around, and allowed this horrible treatment that left you feeling awful about yourself and everyone around you, you couldn’t care less for what he wanted to tell you.

“If I allow you a shower and a meal, will you tell me what I want to know?” He asks, but you still don’t open your eyes. By shower you thought he meant just hosing you down, like what you had seen be done to the other inmates around you, and by a meal you thought he meant just another bowl of beans. “Look at me when I am speaking to you, prisoner.” He said in a harsh tone, you sighed. What did you have left to lose other than your life? So you pried your unwilling eyes open and stared into his mask, a mask that you had seen around the Target kid section many times, a mask you had seen on Halloween night many times for the past few years. This mask was real, it was real and it was uncomfortably close in your comfort zone.

“A real shower, and a real meal. I need answers.” You blinked, almost wanting to drop your head into your knees and quietly wish him away. But for some reason, you felt he was being genuine. He had been good on every promise he had given you so far, a promise to have you jailed and the promise that he couldn’t send you back to Earth. There was really no reason for you to believe that he wasn’t lying about treating you with just a shard of dignity after four long days of feeling worthless. All you had to do in exchange was give him answers, answers that you had already given him. 

“I, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” You said, bringing your knees up and dropping your head into your legs. “I’ve already told you everything I know.” You felt like you were going to cry, just the thought of a nice hot shower and a nutritional meal had given you so much hope. But you couldn’t tell him anything new, and you feared the consequences of not giving him what he wanted after he had proven he had no qualms over harming you. You heard him stand up, walked the few feet to the door and requested a blanket. You looked up just in time to see him hanging halfway out of your cell, only returning when the same storm trooper had handed him a thick wooly blanket. 

“Stand.” He said after turning toward you. You obeyed, knowing that the storm troopers were ruthless enough to abuse you even when you obeyed them, you didn’t want to know what Kylo Ren would do to you if you were belligerent. He handed the blanket to you and instructed you to wrap it around yourself, you were already hot in your long sleeved, long legged prison uniform, you didn’t want the blanket but took it anyway and tossed it over your head. You wore it like a robe, wrapping yourself in it tightly once Kylo Ren motioned for you to follow him with his fingers. You realized the blanket was supposed to conceal your dirty clothing and body stench as he led you throughout the halls. Maybe the man wasn’t such a brute after all.

Silently, you followed behind him, avoiding every person's judgemental gaze as you did. You could only imagine what they were wondering: Why would Kylo Ren have such a decrepit little girl following him? The first thing that would come to your mind would be sex, but you were praying to every god and higher power out there that it wasn’t what Kylo Ren would want you for. So you just stared down at his boots, avoiding everyone that walked by as if you were sick with the plague.

Before you knew it you were standing in a modest room, one much like your own back on Earth. A twin sized bed, a small kitchen, a bathroom off to the side. Even though it was lacking a lot of the books and small trinkets you had around your home it was still lovely enough to trick you into a false sense of security. You turned to look at Kylo Ren who was just staring at you like a statue, not knowing if the questions would be coming first or the shower and food. 

“Shower is right through that door. There are clothes in the closet over there and I’ll have food when you come out.” He still had the mask on which made him look like such a hardass, but for some reason you couldn’t help but to pick up on a caring tone. You nodded as you walked into the direction that he sent you, trying not to take his perceived kindness for granted. This was still Kylo Ren, the man who was 100 percent real and had actually killed real people.

The bathroom was a step up from yours, but the shower seemed to be completely out of your league. There were white lights on the two side walls and just steel on the other side of the entrance. There was no faucet, when you found the buttons to turn the water on it came pouring from the ceiling. To top it all off, there were shelves built into the steel that housed several cleaning products written in a language that you had never seen before. It was fancy, you felt like you were too inferior to even be looking at it. But in the end it didn’t matter, because you shed your nasty clothes and hoped in as quick as you could.

The water relaxed you and, for a second, you could believe that you weren’t trapped in a fictional universe. You believed that you weren’t currently in a battle for your life and well being, all there was to focus on at the moment was scrubbing your hair free of the grease and build up as well as cleaning the remains of food off of your body. It was bliss, but you knew you had to come out eventually. Kylo had promised you good food as well and you were equally as excited for that as you were for your shower. 

With a towel wrapped around you, you made your way back into the room Kylo had taken you to and, much to your delight, you were alone. The thick, soft carpet beneath your feet felt like a cloud that healed your aching feet from walking on nothing but cold, hard concrete. You opened the closet and found it was a walk in, much fancier than your little 2 foot deep metal shutter closet. It was filled with clothes of the grey, black, and white variety. They all looked so plain, save for a few black and grey shirts with simple designs on them, like scribbled clouds and smiley faces. What was even stranger was that these were all women’s clothing that looked to fit you. You were under the impression that this was Kylo Ren’s personal living space, but clearly it wasn’t because the man was far too big to be wearing size 4 T shirts. 

You dressed yourself in a modest white shirt and a pair of jeans, although they were a little tight you tried not to pay it any mind. They were clean clothes, something you were ever so grateful for. You stepped out of the closet and found that you were still alone and you weren’t sure what to do. There was one lounge chair that sat in front of a fireplace and next to a window, but nothing else that could entertain you for the time being. Your eyes shifted to the bed, you wondered if Ren would be willing to also tack on a good night’s sleep to your list of luxuries but decided not to take the chance of slipping into the bed. Clearly this wasn’t your room, you didn’t want to find out whose room it was by them walking in on you like Goldilocks and beating you for sleeping in their bed. 

So you took another look around, wondering what the door closest to the kitchen held behind it. You wandered over, placing your hand on the doorknob before thinking better of the action and letting it go. Again, this wasn’t your home, you couldn’t go snooping around other people’s things. You moped back over to the leather lounge chair and sat upon it, looking out into the beautiful snow that covered everything in sight. It snowed at least twice a year back home, but it hardly snowed enough to cover everything in more than six inches. This was probably the most normal thing you had seen in the last four days.

You hadn’t been sitting for very long before you heard a door behind you open, looked over your shoulder at the door you came in but you were surprised to see that the doors weren’t sliding open. Your eyesight moved to the closet, then the bathroom, but you found that both of those doors were still closed too. That left only one door, and by the time you had turned to see who was coming out, it was too late. Kylo Ren had let himself in through that mystery door and was carting a plate of food up to the small table and chairs that was set up on the other side of the kitchen. “Food.” Was all he said, and as soon as the scent of salmon filled your nostrils you shot up like a firework. You stood, your mouth watering as you feast your eyes on the plate of cooked pink salmon, deep green asparagus, and vibrant yellow lemon slices on top. Next to the food there was a tall glass of ice cold water, frosted and dripping down onto the table. Your water in the jail was always as warm as piss and tasted like it too, this water was cold and had several ice cubes in it, your mouth was agape and you were ready to dig in. 

You took another step toward the table as Ren sat down opposite of the plate of food, you held your hands together at your hips as you waited for his instruction. Once he was settled he looked to you, then held his hand out to the chair, indicating that you could sit. You wasted no time hurrying up to the chair, sitting and taking up the fork to shovel the food into your mouth. You closed your eyes as you chewed as fast as you could to send the salmon free falling to your empty stomach, you never had the luxury to eat food like this at home. By the 5th forkful of deliciously moist and flakey salmon you had realized that you had been incredibly rude and forgotten to thank the man for his thoughtful gesture.

“This is so good.” You said, looking up from your plate to him. His face was unreadable, he was staring at you with such an intense gaze and you had no idea why. You stuck the tip of asparagus into your mouth and chewed, expressing your thanks only after you had swallowed. He never said or did anything to acknowledge your thanks, so you kept on eating, even going as far as to eat the entire stalk of asparagus even though you didn’t often eat the entire thing. Once your plate was 100 percent empty and you were full, you pushed it toward Kylo, looking at him and waiting for his instructions. 

“Are they starving you down there in the cells?” He asked, leaning forward and letting a scowl settle on his face instead of his interested gaze. “No, I suppose not.” You said, wiping your hand clean with a cloth napkin he had provided you. “Then why haven’t you been eating? You are clearly very hungry.” You shrugged, unable to tell him that you had started wishing death upon yourself yesterday morning. Kylo blinked and rolled his eyes, pulling the plate a little closer to him before leaning on the table switching back to the most intense look ever.

“Tell me about where you live.” He asked. You blinked, you weren’t expecting him to ask you about such details. “Um, I, I live-- _ lived _ \--in DC.” You said, clarifying the fact that you’d never be going back home before ending your sentence. “The District of Columbia. The Capital of America.” Kylo said. Nodding his head seemingly interested in what you had to say. “And this Victoria individual,” He looked down at the mention of Victoria like he was embarrassed to be talking about her again. “You met her where?”

“Montgomery County Maryland.” Kylo shook his head, something wasn’t clicking in his mind. At this point, since he had delivered on his promises to you, you were willing to help him. He was calm, not yelling or becoming inordinately angry at you. You felt safer than you had ever felt in the last four days with him, you were prepared to tell him anything he wanted to know about. “Torellia, we sent her to the Capital of America too. It would make no sense for her to be in Maryland.” 

It was then you realized that Kylo had no concept of the DMV and probably not of America either. The two territories were only 45 minutes apart, over an hour in traffic. It wasn’t impossible for whomever this person was to travel between the two areas. “Well, Commander, DC is inside of Maryland. Maybe she just, traveled?” He moved his eyes to you, and suddenly the realization hit you that he had brought you here to talk about Victoria again. “May I ask, are you possibly thinking that Victoria is the woman you’re looking for?” 

“It seems plausible.” He said, sighing heavily. “She was trying to get away from me after an incident that occured in this very room. I mean, it’s possible that she could have changed her looks down there, right?” You nodded once, looking down at the juices that were still left on your plate. You were tempted to lick them off before pushing your plate away since you didn’t know if you’d ever eat something as good as that ever again.  

“Where did Victoria live?”

“I don’t know, sir. But at the yard sale she had lots of things for sale, I thought she was moving.” 

“Moving? To where?” He asked, looking quite puzzled and leaning forward a little. “That I don’t know, sir. She just said she wanted to go to a quieter place.” There was a beat of silence before Kylo sighed, for the first time since you had come to know him he looked so sad and upset. “It was my fault, I’m thoroughly convinced it was all my fault that I had to send her away.” He was looking back down at his fingers, you weren’t sure what to say to him really. You didn’t want to pry too far into his personal life in fear of upsetting him and causing him to lash out at you. He was like a wild animal, tame at the moment but able to be violent when necessary. Always best to keep your distance from him, especially when you knew so little about what he was looking for. 

He shook his head before continuing to ask you more questions about DC and the surrounding areas to which you answered to the best of your knowledge. As you spoke you couldn’t help but to notice the look in his eye had turned from being so deep and profound to one of desperation and need. It was clear he missed this woman so much, but there wasn’t much you could do to help him when he had already told you there was no other way to get you back to Earth. So you spoke on, answered his questions as well as you could before something quite strange happened.

You noticed he had been slowly leaning in closer and closer to you, you tried to think it was just him trying to understand the ways of Earth and how their people operated on a daily basis. So you spoke on, looking down at the table until you saw him move out of the corner of your eye. You had looked up just in time to see him stretching his arm across the table to you. Before you could move out of the way he had placed his fingers lightly under your chin, moving your face up to his. He looked awestruck, like he was seeing you for the first time in his life. Once the two of you were looking up at each other he slid his hand from your chin slowly to your cheek, ran his thumb along your cheek bone as his lower lip trembled ever so slightly. You were afraid, it almost seemed as if he was in love with you. He was so gentle, so caring, so unlike the first Kylo Ren you had met and you surely didn’t know what to think about this action.

“You, you look so much like her.” He said, that’s when you swiftly moved your face out of his hand, leaving him sitting there with his hand in the air. You had finally seen why he brought you here, this was Torellia’s room and he had dressed you in Torellia’s clothing. He was trying to make you out to  _ be  _ Torellia, and that definitely was not okay.

“That’s not what this is about, you fool.” Kylo said, dropping his hand to the table, his demeanor doing a full 360 back to being the angry man you had first met. “I need information and you’re the only one that can give it to me.” He said, clearly offended by your thoughts. You said nothing, just cowered in your chair watching the anger in him build more and more. You didn’t mean to upset him, you just didn’t appreciate the fact that he had compared you to her of all people. You weren’t here to be his girlfriend, or lover, or whatever this Torellia person was to him. You were here against your will, you were here due to a grotesque accident and you didn’t want to be here at all. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, prisoner.” Kylo said, standing from the table and pulling it away from you. “You’ll never be Torellia, won’t ever come close to her status within the Order.” 

“I’m, I’m sorry Commander! That’s not what I was thinking at all!” You shouted before screeching at the top of your lungs at the pain that shot through your arm and shoulder as he yanked you from the table. Your arm felt loose, shockwaves of pain radiated from your shoulder into your back, and tears fell down your face at the feeling of him continuing to pull on your dislocated shoulder. “You are nothing to me, merely something to be used as a cross evaluation from Earth.” Kylo said as he pulled you down the now familiar hallway back to your prison. You bawled the entire way there, begging him not to pull on your shoulder because you were injured, but he wouldn’t let up. You supposed he could be justified in being mad at you, could see how someone would be offended by your perceived thoughts, but in your humble defense that’s exactly what the scene looked like; you had just realized it far too late. You were afraid, didn’t think you had it in you to be kidnapped from your home and forced to pretend to be someone you weren’t. 

You didn’t even want to believe that he was desperate enough to do something of that nature, to dress up an innocent woman as his previous lover that he “sent away,” but this was a different universe than you were used to, anything could happen right before your very eyes and you’d just have to accept it.

You found yourself being thrown back into your prison, the doors clanking loudly behind you as you struggled to portray your need for medical attention to the tall, furious man standing on the other side. He stood for just a second staring at you, not moving and not even pretending to entertain the idea of letting you out of your cage. “Please, Commander. I’m so sorry for my awful thoughts.” You sobbed, crawling as easily as you could over to the bars. “My shoulder, I’m in so much pain. Please, will you--”

“You’ll be in a whole new world of pain after I use you to blow your planet out of the god damn galaxy.” He said, squatting down right in front of you. “Sleep well, prisoner.” He said before stomping off to the right. Your lip trembled helplessly as you looked onto the man across the hall as if he could help you, but of course he couldn’t. The only thing you had were your thoughts, wondering how long it would take one of your captors to provide the basic medical attention you were needing at the moment. The idea of Ren being considerate and offering you another shower and good meal now so far gone. You could go back to starving yourself and being miserable, because now you knew without a shadow of a doubt that you’d never be returning home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually went to DC last night for the Summer Solstice celebration. I couldn't get this story out of my mind the entire night lol.


	6. Chapter 6

A full week went by and you had not caught hide nor hair of Kylo Ren since he had tried to strip you of your identity in Torellia’s quarters. You picked at the food they brought you but never ate all of it, maybe about a quarter of it on a good day and none of it on a day where you were so homesick. You experienced your first shower day a few days after you were returned to the cell, a storm trooper came in with a long, brown hose that hooked up to a spout in the wall and sprayed you down. It was painful, the PSI was so high that you felt like your skin would be stripped off, and at the end of the shower you didn’t feel any cleaner than when it began. You had to stand naked and wet until the same storm trooper returned with a towel and a set of clothing because he conveniently ‘forgot’ them when he marched in to shower you. It was a miserable experience and you were almost content with never being showered by them again in your life if it meant you’d never go through that kind of pain again.

The days went by, you spent your afternoons just sitting around as you normally did listening to all the unearthly chatter around you. Every once and a while the storm troopers would come around to rattle your chains a bit, yelling at you from the other side of the bars and threatening you for seemingly nothing. You felt like this isn’t how prisons on Earth operated, at least not ones in the United States where you were from. You just kept reminding yourself that you weren’t in the States anymore, you weren’t even on Earth anymore. You were imprisoned somewhere where prison abuse was clearly legal, and there was no way out of it.

“Prisoner 4117, rise and place your hands against the wall with your feet shoulder length apart.” The trooper’s voice rang out behind you and you knew it was time for cell and body checks again. As you began to follow demands you thought it was odd that they were doing them so early, but sure enough the storm trooper fondled his way around your body just as they did every day, but you were not expecting to be cuffed right afterword. You looked behind you in shock, questioned the storm trooper as to where they were taking you but all they did was place a blindfold over your face and began dragging you from your cell.

Took in a swift breath as you blinked, trying to make sense of how there was a mask blinding your sight but you felt nothing wrapped around your head. You could do nothing though, nothing but move your feet as you were pushed down the aisle of cells and past the main door, the sound of it locking behind you indicated you’d now be walking somewhere out of the prison. Your bare feet smacked against the cold tiled floor as they lead you to wherever they were supposed to, you knew storm troopers took orders from people and there was no way they were doing this on their own accord. 

Another door opened and there was silence all around you, at least until a woman’s voice thundered from right in front of you. “Is this the girl?” She asked, you jumped as it sounded like she was mere inches from your face. “Yes ma'am. And here is what she is to look like when you’re finished.” A beat of silence, then a scoff from the woman who was essentially receiving you. “What is all this about? Why is he making me do work on prisoners now when I’ve got more important members of the Order to take care of?” She sounded so annoyed as you heard her walk away from you, but you hardly cared about her and her feelings. You could hear objects being moved around a little further away from you as she instructed the people holding you hostage to sit you in ‘the chair,’ your heart was racing in your chest as you wondered what ‘work’ would be performed on you and why you needed this ‘work’ in the first place. 

“What are you going to do to me?” You asked, the panic in your voice clear as day. Your eye mask became damp with your tears as you were forced into a chair, your arms were still cuffed behind your back and it was severely uncomfortable for you. “Oh hush, prisoner.” She said before the chair lifted into the air. A sharp metallic noise next to your right ear made you flinch away, shriek as you thought for sure you’d be getting some kind of surgery done against your will. “Please, please don’t hurt me!” You begged, but all you got in reply was a loud sigh.

“Chill out, prisoner.” She said, bothered by your terror. Suddenly your head was forced back by your hair. You gasped as you felt something sharp and pointed run over your scalp and through your hair, the woman was pulling at it as well. Almost as if she were, combing it? “Haven’t you ever gotten your hair cut before?” She asked, then you felt your scalp dampen as she sprayed some water on your hair. A haircut. You were getting your hair cut.

“God, what the hell are you doing to those people down there?” She asked, you sat silently as you realized she was not speaking to you, but to your captors. “Her hair is fucking filthy!” She continued to spritz your hair, from the chemically smell you concluded it was not only just water, but probably some kind of shampoo as well. “Prisoners are only allowed to shower once a week, and when we shower them we don’t take time to care for their hair.” She chuckled as she once again combed out your hair, then moved onto spraying the rest of your hair to wash it out. “Well, they’re prisoners. Who cares anyway?” She said to them, then continued on with your haircut. You were wondering the same thing, if you were so unimportant to the Order, and especially to Kylo Ren, why were you sitting here having your hair washed, blow dried, and styled?

By the time she was finished with you, you could feel you had two tight braids in the back of your head and what felt like two buns on top. They still hadn’t removed the blindfold, and you couldn’t see what your hair actually looked like. You worried this person had done your hair up to look crazy or stupid, and now you’d be paraded around the base to have people point and laugh at you. But what could you do? You were still cuffed and you knew you’d likely remain cuffed for the rest of your time out of your cell. 

“Is this the Commander’s new mistress or something?” The woman asked before you were grasped under your arms and stood to your feet. “Truthfully I have no idea.” One of the troopers said as they began pulling you out of the room. “But he’s got some strange obsession with her, it’s creepy.” 

“I used to do this style to that Torellia girl all the time. Why’s this prisoner so special?” From there the door shut and you were continually pushed forward out into the hallways, knowing that Kylo Ren was behind all of this was even worse. Even though he had told you you’d never be Torellia here he was making you play dress up once again. 

You could only imagine that when you were marched through another door and left alone that you were back in Torellia’s old room, and after a few seconds of silence your eye mask was gently ripped away you were face to face with, of course, Kylo Ren. He stared at you, then his eyes traveled up to the top of your head to view your new hairstyle. You felt self-conscious about what he was seeing, you still didn’t know what it looked like and you worried about if he were going to be happy with it or not. You clasped your hands in front of one another as you stared down at your toes, what did he want with you this time? 

“I have a proposition for you.” He said, his voice relayed no real emotion and he was well put together. You looked up at him, thinking maybe the reason why he had your hair done up like this was because he wanted you to further pretend you were Torellia and provide him sexual favors. “But first, go have a bath and I’ll have some food delivered here for you.” You gulped, you didn’t think that he would want to spoil you again after his outburst. His last outburst that left you sitting in your cell all night long with a dislocated shoulder, the guards didn’t believe you were in true need of medical attention until the next morning when your arm had swollen twice its size and you truly couldn’t move it. They didn’t even take you to a medical facility, they simply shoved it painfully back into its socket. You had to make sure you kept your thoughts tame around him, you definitely did not want to live with that kind of pain ever in your life. “Please, don’t mess up your hair.” He asked politely, you nodded as you continued walking, realizing that your hair was important to him.

You nodded your head before turning back toward the bathroom where you had taken your first shower, leaving Kylo standing in the room alone. You hadn’t taken much time to admire the fancy looking bathtub. It was square, made out of polished mahogany and black tile it once again looked to be out of your league. But just like last time it didn’t matter, because you stripped out of your prison uniform after filling the tub to your liking and sinking all the way down. You closed your eyes and took a huge whiff of the hot bath water, wishing you had one of the bathbombs you used to shop for at Lush to accompany you. You couldn’t imagine what long term effects sitting in your filth all day would have on your skin, you wished you had a way to detox and really get yourself clean from the inside out. 

You got to work scrubbing yourself down, the dirt and buildup from your skin came off easily and began turning your bathwater a dirty brown. You were disgusted, but still scrubbed and scrubbed until you felt clean, and you were even extra careful to not mess up your hair. Once you were cleaned you drained the bathwater and reached for a towel, dried off and moved out to the main living area and into the closet where you, once again, put on a grey T-shirt with a pair of leggings that no doubt belonged to Torellia. You felt fresh and rejuvenated, ready for the food Kylo Ren would be delivering to you. You had to wonder what it was going to be, the salmon last time was of the highest quality and was drop dead delicious. 

You sat on the small lounge chair and waited for Kylo who showed up shortly after you sat down just like last time, holding a plate of fresh green salad with a bowl next to it. You stood, then after he set it down you moved over to the table. Looking down into the bowl you could tell it was cheddar bacon soup, the salad came with three different kind of dressings and was loaded with croutons, chopped up boiled eggs, and strips of grilled chicken. Your mouth watered and once again you found yourself wondering why Kylo was spoiling you.

You sat down after he did and dug in, showering your salad in an Italian dressing and clearing it all before moving to the soup and eating it all up as well. “I apologize for my behavior the last time you were here.” Kylo spoke you, looking at you sincerely. You had come to realize that he hadn’t been eating with you whenever he brought you to this room, so the interactions felt less like a date and more like some creepy observation dinner on his part. “And I apologize about putting my hands on you when we first met. I hope that you understand why I was so upset.” You shrugged, willing your thoughts about how he dragged you around by your hair away in fear of upsetting him even more. “It was all uncalled for, and I should never have treated you so terribly.” You nodded your head, licked the last little bit of cheddar off your lips before telling him that it was alright. Even though you felt it was unforgivable to be treating another human being so poorly you kept to yourself, the food, bath, and clothing was good, you only had to be thankful for the moment.

“How come you don’t eat in the cells?” He asked, taking the now empty bowl and staking it on the plate next to the unused salad dressings. You shrugged, the question caught you quite off guard. “The food just isn’t that great.” You were blushing, somewhat embarrassed by your plan to starve yourself to death. “So if I got you better food, you would start eating again?” Kylo asked, you couldn’t help but to wonder why he cared so much about your wellbeing. “I, I guess so.” You looked to the empty plates, this food was probably the best food you had ever had in your entire life. If they had it delivered to your cell then you’d probably eat it in a heartbeat. “Then it will be done.” Kylo nodded, you had no reason to doubt him just from the look of sincerity alone. “I can look at you and tell you’ve lost weight since the last time we’ve seen each other. Please, I want you to eat.” You toyed with the hem of your shirt, you had thought the clothes seemed to fit a little bit better than last time. You promised him you’d start eating a bit more, but still bit back the question about why he cared so much for you when, clearly, you would never be his beloved girlfriend Torellia.

“Now about that proposition.” He said, leaning in on the table closer to you. “I want you to play me in a game of chess.” 

Chess? You had never played physical chess before in your life. The only time you had ever played chess was through apps on your phone, against friends on Facebook and the like. You knew nothing about it other than the smallest pieces were called pawns, you felt like you’d instantly lose against the great Kylo Ren. 

“If you beat me, then you may have another great meal with me and spend the night in this room.” 

“And if I lose?” Kylo’s subtle look of excitement faded into his normal look of drab as he spoke on, answering your question and quelling your lucid thoughts on him killing you if you lost. “If you lose, then you go back to your cell.” You bit your lip, you had thought you were going back there after this meal anyway. What did you really have to lose? “Is it real chess?” You asked, thinking back to the first movie where the characters played that holographic game in the Millennium Falcon. It looked complicated, and if you had to play something complicated that would give you a headache you might as well say no and head back to your cell. 

“Yes, Torellia was very fond of other planet’s cultures. Her favorite was Earth.” Kylo’s eyes slowly went from your face to your hair, and as he continued you could almost see his eyes twinkling in the dim lights of the bedroom; he was getting emotional. “She liked it so much because it was the only planet on our maps that was not under a decentralized government instead of most other planets, which you probably don’t know are ruled by one person.” You stared at him blankly, the only other planets in your solar system were uninhabited, unable to support life so you had never thought about other planets, let alone one single person ruling them. 

Kylo stood and walked over to a dresser that was close to the bed, pulled out a box and walked back over to the table. “She had her first board sent to the base, played with it every day before her and I even got together.” He lifted the top and you were amazed to see such a high quality chess board and pieces. “For our one year anniversary I bought this for her, all made of glass and the pieces light up whatever color you would like.” Carefully he slipped his fingers under the board and set it to the table, it was a simple black and white pattern and the pieces that he started to set up looked all the same, just made from frosted glass. 

“She always chose green, I always chose red.” After setting all of the pieces up he fiddled with something on the side of the board, then all of his pieces lit up red. It was amazing, you had never seen something so fancy and it probably had something to do with the fact that you never played chess. “Select your color, then we may begin.” You looked down to your side of the board where Kylo had messed with his and found a small wheel with a glowing green dot shining from it. When you spun it around you noticed the dot changed color, it was pretty high tech. You had seen your favorite color pass by twice, but decided to go with a color that you didn’t often choose as a favorite: White. You pushed the wheel in and almost instantly your chess pieces began to glow, the pieces shined brighter than they did before the board illuminated them, since they were already frosted white. Kylo looked at you, focused on you and only you while you waited for him to begin. 

“Ready to start?” He asked, you nodded, believing there was no use prolonging it just to look at the beautiful chessboard. “Good.” A sly, almost evil like smile spread across his face. “I’ll make the first move.” He reached down and pushed one of his pawns on the left side of the board forward one square. You took a deep breath, thinking maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as you thought it would.

Turns out, you were wrong. The entire game lasted 15 minutes, 20 minutes maximum and by the end Kylo had captured 10 of your 16 pieces and checkmated you with a wide, unforgiving grin. You stared down at the game board, so much read and so little white the sight made you want to cry. “You don’t know how to play chess, do you?” He said, you couldn’t look up at him but judging by the sympathy in his voice you thought he was feeling bad for you and your pathetic gameplay. 

You shook your head sadly, it would be time to go back to your cell. You lip quivered just a bit and you did your best to keep the tears out of your eyes, but you couldn’t help to feel sorry. You were looking forward to sleeping in Torellia’s comfy bed, to eating more good food tonight, and now it had all gone down the drain. 

“It’s alright, I’ll teach you.” Kylo said, and you looked up and him in surprise. “Teach me? For what?” You asked. What you really wanted to say ask him was ‘why are you so obsessed with me?’ He sat speechless, looking at you up and down and you wished he would have said something. It felt like he was just prolonging your misery and you just wished he’d take you back to your cell. 

“I don’t know.” He said, blinking and looking down at the chessboard. “You don’t know what?” You asked, trying to keep the panic out of your voice. Part of you just wanted him to say he was dressing you up like Tori, teaching you to be her so you could live out the rest of your days here as his lover. “Commander, aren’t I just a prisoner? Just a way for you to get information on Earth until you don’t need me anymore?” He sighed, grabbing one of the white pawns in his two fingers and twisting it about. “I don’t know, y/n.” He placed the pawn back on the board and then slid his finger across the side, all of the pieces went back to their regular frosted appearance. It was the first time you had heard him say your name, and it came out much softer and delicate than you thought it would have the first time.

He rubbed his forehead with his hand, the heavy sniff that came from his nose told you that he was losing the battle with his emotions. He missed this girl, and he wanted you to be her so bad. “Are you ready to go back to your cell?” You grimaced, although you wanted to stay here so badly you also didn’t want to be around Kylo when his emotions overtook him and he went haywire. “Yeah.” You whispered, standing and smoothing out your shirt. The only thing you had to look forward to was the better quality food that was to be delivered to your cell, whether you would be up to eating it would depend on how you would be feeling.

“Well that’s too bad.” Kylo said, standing and wiping his face with his sleeve. “You’re staying here.” 

“What?” You asked, completely blown back by his statement. He said it as if it was meant to demean you, to upset you and to make you feel bad. “Why?” You took a look back at the comfy bed, around at the small kitchen, then back at the luxury bathroom. You could live here, would take staying here for the rest of your life over the cell any day. But Kylo was a man of his word, you had lost the match and he told you that you’d be going back to your cell. Was he toying with you? Dangling a delicious cookie in front of your face before snatching it sadly out of your reach. 

He looked around too, refusing to meet your gaze as he stepped around you to the dresser. You observed him the entire time, he was like a colossal shadow moving silently and lightly around the small room, a gentle giant that was just so misunderstood. He produced something from his pocket and set it down, something square that sat straight up on the steel dresser. You took a few delicate steps toward him, he sniffed once again and you could really feel his sorrow, especially as you got closer to the object that he placed. 

It was a picture frame, a picture frame that held a self taken photo. Kylo was smiling so brightly. For a man that you never thought would smile at all, his smile was so warm and happy. He didn’t show his teeth, it was all lip and so big that it created lots of joyful creases around his eyes. In his arm sat a girl, her hair was braided and up in two buns just like yours. She was perhaps even happier, her mouth was wide open as if she were laughing next to Kylo showing off a set of perfect pearly white teeth. She was holding her arm out to take the photo, and in the background you could tell it was not taken here due to the fact that it was bright and sunny. It seemed like the two were on a vacation, wearing short sleeves and sitting on top of a bright red blanket in the grass. They were having a picnic, and damn it looked like it was the most fun Kylo had ever had in his life. 

Aside from happiness, the other emotion that radiated happily off of the two was love.

Kylo sniffed loudly, you looked up at him and could finally feel how much he  _ truly  _ loved this girl. “That’s her?” You asked him, looking back down at the photo. He nodded, it had occurred to you that this was probably the photo that was given to the stylist for your hair do. It was confirmed, Kylo wanted you to be Torellia because he was suffering without her. You pitied him, probably more than he pitied you for losing the game of chess. 

You studied her face a little closer, she did give off a very familiar vibe. Her hair did not match Victoria’s, but her facial features sure did. You closed your eyes, envisioned her happy face at the yard sale. Her hair at the yard sale was blonde, but in this picture it was brown. You let out a massive sigh, looked at the photo again and came to a jarring conclusion. “It is her.” You said, looking back up at the very sad, mourning man. He didn’t really seem too connected to Victoria and didn’t seem to entertain the idea that they were the same person, but you had no doubts that the girl smiling at you from the photo was the same girl that had tried to force her way into your home to take the book back. 

Kylo wiped some tears from his eyes before looking down at you, completely confused. “Who?”

“Victoria. That’s Victoria.” 

“Torellia, that’s my Torellia.” Hearing the two names so close together made you realize that the two names shared a common nickname:

“Tori.” The both of you spoke at the exact same time, then looked over at each other. You could see his thought process work across his face. He didn’t believe you at first, but you knew he was coming to terms to the possibility. “Tori gave me the book, Commander. Nobody took it from her, nobody sold it other than her.” He hung his head, you watched as more tears dripped down his face and into the carpet. “Tori is the reason why I’m here.” He shook his head, wiped his tears away before he began speaking once more. “Yeah, and it’s all my fault.” He stepped away, toward the door that he came from twice with your food, the entire situation was just so sad and you refused to say anything else to bring the mood down any further. 

“Keep yourself busy for the rest of the day, dinner will come around six and I’ll bring it to you, alright?” You nodded, clasping your hands in front of you and standing tall in front of the bed. He stepped through the door, casting one more look back at you with large, sad, glassy eyes. Clearly, he didn’t want to leave you. To him, you were Torellia, you kept him company and you reminded him so much of his beloved girl. 

You looked past him and saw what looked to be a bedroom, you could see a small desk in the corner and another door off to the left. If you had to guess, it was Kylo’s rooms. They connected like a pair of hotel rooms, they really wanted to be that close to each other.

With a heavy sigh, he turned and left, closed the door and now you were surrounded by silence and loneliness. You took one last look at the photo of Kylo and Tori and you were overcome by sadness. They seemed like they really loved each other, but Tori was still trying to tell you to stay away from him. You stepped closer, lifted the photo into your hands. They were so happy, what could have possibly happened to cause Kylo to go off and harm her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my bud Cheeky_monkey, who has been trying to teach me how to play chess while simultaneously kicking my ass.


	7. Chapter 7

You thought long and hard about what had occurred before Kylo left you alone in Torellia’s room. He had begun to treat you so well, apologized for bringing you harm and had made it clear with his actions that he wanted you to be his Tori. He had no shame, not trying to hide the photo of him and his woman that showcased the same hairstyle you had been given. He even vowed to teach you how to play chess, Tori’s favorite game. Perhaps the most troubling observation you made was the discovery of how lonely Kylo was, he had scared you into playing a game of chess with him, but when it came time to return to your cell after your loss he would not allow it. After the two of you looked over his photo of Torellia you realized that Kylo didn’t just want you here, he  _ needed  _ you here. Even though he was not in the same room with you anymore he felt better knowing the “mock” Tori was that much closer to him, he felt less lonely knowing the room that sat empty to his for months before your accident was now occupied once again. What was better, it was occupied by someone he was essentially training to be his previous girlfriend. 

The entire situation probably should have disgusted you more than it did, but after spending the last few days in an uncomfortably small cell, sleeping in an uncomfortably small bed, and being handled like livestock, you were happy to spend time by yourself in a comfortable room. You bunkered down on the couch as you sat in happy silence, thinking that maybe learning to play along with Ren and his tactics wouldn’t be that bad if you got to live in this room from time to time. It beat living in the cells any day of the week.

You tucked your hands under your thighs, the idle sounds of the base playing in your ears relaxed you so much more. Really, it wasn’t that different from the sounds of the city you heard at night; instead of cars driving by your window you heard people marching throughout the halls. Instead of dogs barking you heard droids beeping, and instead of the natural sounds of birds and the wind you heard the heavy machinery that powered the base whispering to you through the walls. It was ominous, but it was much better than having to listen to all of the life forms around you speaking in languages you didn’t understand, it was nice being alone for a change.

Torellia had a small TV that sat on an entertainment center, tucked away under it were several old CDs and DVDs. Classic Beatles music is what populated most of the CDs, followed by some Michael Jackson and the Eagles. Her taste in music was amazing, you found it entertaining to know that even someone that was not native to Earth was a fan of the Beatles, now literally everyone loved them. Much to your surprise a lot of the movies she had were Disney movies: Monsters Inc, Lilo and Stitch, Toy Story, and your personal favorite: Tarzan. You got up to take a closer look, her collection housed a few more modern artists as well as some other movies, but what excited you the most was her Disney collection. For someone who was not from Earth, she had such great tastes in your culture. You picked up the Monsters Inc DVD, brushing a bit of dust off of the cover in the process. When so much at home was digital, Netflix, iTunes, Amazon and the like, Torellia found pleasure in collecting physical versions of her favorite things. It wasn’t something you saw very often, but as a collector of uncommon things your appreciation for Tori had grown quite a bit.

You wondered if Kylo would be upset at you for indulging yourself in Tori’s belongings. You thought momentarily about knocking on the door that separated both of the rooms and asking, but you weren’t sure how he would react. You had gotten the idea that he went to his rooms to continue to mourn his loss alone, you didn’t want to bother him if that were the case. Taking another look down at the friendly monsters in your hand, you decided that watching her DVDs would likely not carry much of a punishment. After all, Kylo never told you that you  _ couldn’t  _ watch her movies. He said he’d come back around six with dinner, that was four hours from now. Did he expect you to just sit quietly and do nothing until he got in? You took a look back at the chess board and pieces that still sat on the table behind you. With a gulp, you wondered if that’s what he wanted you to be doing instead. 

You collapsed onto your knees in front of the DVD player, sure enough it was a regular DVD player that you could find in anyone’s household on Earth. You smiled to yourself as you popped the CD into the drive, you could have been fooled into thinking you were in a regular home back on Earth. The gears in the DVD player began to turn and luckily for you, as it came to life so did the TV. There were some words written in a language you didn’t quite understand, but after a few seconds the smooth jazz music from the intro of Monsters Inc began to play and the colorful doors began to light up and dance. 

The movie played, you found yourself laughing at parts you had laughed at as a child but didn’t quite giggle at as an adult. This was probably the first positive thing to happen to you in the last few weeks. It was a small slice of home, a small slice of your childhood that you got to relive in another universe, it made you feel calm and at peace with your surroundings and once the movie was over you found yourself pouting. Here you were once again, alone in this universe and wondering why you couldn’t have been sucked into the Monsters Inc realm instead. At least the monsters there would have made you laugh, instead of the monsters in this universe who sexually assault you, starve you, and beat you. 

Solemnly you stood, ejected the DVD and replaced it with Toy Story, which took up another hour of your time. You had always been inspired by Buzz Lightyear’s revelation of ‘I’m not flying, I’m falling: in style!’ It had taught you to always try to look at the bright side of things, and today it was no different. You tried to think of some clever comparison to make as you switched the first Toy Story movie to the second, but the only phrase you could come up with was:

_ I’m not suffering, I’m surviving: in style! _

 

For some reason, one of your favorite childhood phrases made you feel no better than you did before you had watched the movie. In fact, you’d go as far as to say it made you feel even worse. You closed your eyes as the second Toy Story movie began, once again looking for a small beacon of hope that everything would be alright. 

At some point during the second movie you had nodded off, but you hadn’t been asleep for very long before the sounds of one of the toys at  _ Al’s Toy Barn  _ going off woke you up. Your hands were clasped under your head while your knees were tucked against your stomach, everything was hazy as your eyes adjusted to Emperor Zurg explaining to Buzz: “No Buzz, I am your father.” You giggled as you realized it was in Star Wars style and everything, something that nobody in this universe likely understood. You sat up, rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as a peculiar thought brewed into the back of your mind: Since Tori was so into vintage movies and music, wouldn’t she have told Kylo about the whole ‘Star Wars as entertainment’ thing? 

You shrugged, threw your hands into your lap as you realized it didn’t even matter. You had more important things to worry about than if Kylo understood what Star Wars really was or not. Like worrying about 6 PM fast approaching and realizing your hair was not as neat as when you got it done that morning. Would Kylo care? Would he want you to fix it up for him before he arrived that evening? You got up and made your way to the bathroom where you observed the hairstyle for what it was worth, everything looked okay with the exception of your right bun which was leaning due to your nap and a few hairs that had come out of place in the braids. You scowled, maybe it wouldn’t be too hard to fix on your own. You took the leaning bun in your hand and studied the style, it seemed like just a regular bun from what you could tell. You went to work on taking the hairstyle apart and reconstructing it, but found that, just like your game of chess, you had very little luck. 

You had tried to just do up the bun without taking out the braid, but the first time you got the bun put back together you realized the braids had loosened and were causing the bun to fall backward. With an unimpressed hum you took it apart again, this time taking the braids out but quickly admitted defeat when you couldn’t braid the back of your hair up the way it needed to be. Now one side of your hair was down at your shoulders and the other side was done up in the braids like Kylo wanted. You had failed, and you almost felt like crying because of it. 

Tears threatened your eye as you worked your fingers through the other half of your head until your hair was completely down, now what? You felt like Kylo punishing you was a very real possibility, he wanted you to be Tori so bad and by taking your braided buns out you were destroying his perception. But, surely Tori didn’t wear her hair like that all the time. Her hair wasn’t put up like that the few times you had met her, and Kylo had even said you looked like her when your hair was down. And besides, deep down inside you were not Torellia. You were you and you’d always be you, just as Kylo said on your first day here: You would never be Torellia.

From out in the living area you heard a door open, and just like every other meal you had eaten with Kylo you heard the cart rolling into the room. He called out your name and notified you that it was time for dinner, and as he did you could hear his footsteps growing closer and closer to you. “Okay!” You said, hurriedly making your way to the door and closing it as fast as you could. You were panicking, was it already six? “Just, just a second, please.” You ran your hair through your hands, you were really looking forward to dinner with Kylo and having a nice bed to sleep in tonight and you had felt like you ruined it by taking down your hair. 

You paced the bathroom, splashed some water on your face before your failed mantra raced through your mind: I’m not suffering, I’m surviving, in style!

Surviving, that’s what you had to do. You couldn’t hide in the bathroom from Kylo this entire time, it was your hair. Surely he knew he had given you some free will when he let you stay unattended in this room, surely he wouldn’t get upset with you. You turned to the door, and with a huge gulp accepted your unknown fate as you grasped the door handle, turned it and were met with Kylo sitting on the bed. It was much smaller than he was, you noticed his knees sat high while he was basically hunched over waiting for you to make your entrance.

You shot him a nervous grin as you watched his eyesight go from your face to your hair that hung around your shoulders. His face fell into one of disappointment as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and tried to think of an appropriate excuse for your actions. 

“You took out your hair.” He stared, his mouth falling open just a tad. “Why?”

“I, I took a short nap and when I woke up the style was ruined.” You stammered, trying to push the lump in your throat back down as you tried to keep up with your mind. “I tried, I swear I tried to fix it but just ended up ruining it even more. I’m, I’m so--”

“Relax.” Kylo said, cutting you off with a heavy sigh. He stood, took the three steps over to you. He stood in front of you, grasped you by the chin and turned your face to look at you from all angles. He seemed puzzled, scowling in a way that made you think he was confused, like he didn’t really think it was you that was standing in front of him. He removed his hand from your chin and instead ran it through your hair, the very tips of his fingertips grazed against your bare shoulder and caused the surrounding skin to break out in goosebumps. It had basically been the first skin to skin contact you had from someone in a while who was not inflicting pain on you. It was, to say the very least, nice. 

But just as soon as you began to enjoy the contact it ended, and was soon replaced with an action that was so creepy you had to shut your eyes. He took ahold of the same bundle of hair he had run his fingers through and lifted it up to his face. You saw him press it up against his nose and that’s when you looked away and shut your eyes, this could not be happening right now.

He inhaled loudly, and when he had taken in as much of the scent of your hair as he could he exhaled with a light moan, his hot breath caressing your bare cheek and making you feel that much more uncomfortable. When he was finished breathing in the smell of the shampoo the hair stylist had sprayed on you he finally let go of your hair, placed his hand on the small of your back and gently moving you forward to the table. You were mortified, were so sure that only serial killers and stalkers did creepy stuff like that to people they barely knew. Although, from what you read in the Ben Solo book and from his determination to turn you into Torellia, you could conclude that he was both a serial killer and stalker and really you should not have been surprised.

Walked you over to the table, pulled the chair out for you in your usual spot and held his arm out for you to sit. Had this been anyone else you would have believed you were about to indulge yourself in a fancy dinner date with a wonderful guy. But this wasn’t just any dude you had met back on Earth. This was Kylo Ren, someone that harbored a strange obsession with you. This wasn’t a dinner date, it was a hostage situation. 

You sat down, and as you did Kylo uncovered the plate of food and, as it always did, your both began watering as you feast your eyes upon a set of two large red and yellow stuffed bell peppers. There was ground beef, various spices and vegetables and cheeses inside of them, and on the side was a hefty serving of corn. You swallowed your saliva, this by far was your favorite part of your meetings with Kylo. His food was always so mouth watering delicious and was so satisfying. 

Kylo was kind enough to set a plate down in front of you as well as some rolled silverware that was under the cover. You smiled at him, just the smell of the fresh parsley that was atop the melted cheese was putting you in a better mood. From under the cart Kylo produced two glasses, laid them both out on the table in front of you and then pulled out a tall bottle of Bourbon. You watched in awe as he poured the amber liquid into both glasses, you had never seen Bourbon before in person, mostly because you could never afford such nice alcohol. 

Once he had placed his own plate down and sat you decided to dig straight into your bell pepper, using your fork and knife you cut into it and watched as all the contents spilled onto your plate. You couldn’t help but to lick your lip momentarily before lifting some of the meat into your mouth with the fork, finding so much delight in the taste of cheddar cheese melting in your mouth on top of the ground beef and other garnishes. You tried to ignore Kylo as he stared at you, watching you scarf down your meal without even so much as touching his. It was creepy, but you were thankful for the good food and nice room so you tried to ignore him.

“Why do you always wait until I’ve sat down to eat?” He asked, finally beginning to unroll his silverware. You looked up at him, your mouth still full with pepper and its filling as you thought about what he was really asking. He was a Commander, and form what you could gather he was highly exalted in the Order. You wanted to treat him with the utmost respect and royalty, didn’t want to upset him by over stepping your boundary as an outsider by eating before he had sat, at least that’s what you’d imagine he wanted. 

“I’m, I’m just trying to be polite Commander.” You said, momentarily halting your meal. He nodded his head once before cutting into his own pepper and sticking a piece into his mouth. You took this as your opportunity to have more food, but before you could cut another piece he began speaking once again. 

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but you are not required to do such things.” He took a swing of his Bourbon, you nodded your head as you realized this evening was going far better than you expected. “Yes, I am your superior as you are simply a prisoner of the Order.” He looked down at his plate as he cut into his pepper one more time, the look on his face told you that he had no qualms about thinking of you as nothing but a prisoner when it was appropriate. “But when we are in this room, we are equals.” He finally lifted his eyes to you, and when you saw them you could practically see the desire he held for you. In this room, you were equals. In this room, you were his company.

In this room, you were Torellia. 

You tried not to show the fear on your face as you went back to eating without even so much as an acknowledgement of his declaration. You decided you’d enjoy it as much as you could. When you were here you were not being starved, sexually assaulted, and abused. When you were here, you were treated with respect, you were left alone, and you were, for the most part, peaceful. 

“Tell me more about Earth.” Kylo asked a few more minutes into dinner. “What would you like to know?” You thought you had relinquished all the information about your planet as you could think of, what more could he possibly need to know. “Your leaders. I don’t understand how you can have more than one leader.” You shrugged, then went off on a tangent about the current President of the United States and the other surrounding countries. Some were corrupt, some were evil, and some were okay as far as your opinions were.

“So people sit back and allow one man to starve, terrorize, and brainwash their own citizens?” You sighed, you weren’t too into politics but you knew enough to know that it simply was not that easy to stop men who were dictators. “It isn’t that simple, Commander.” You were frustrated, it was clear that he felt Earth was inferior to him and his planet/planets. You just wished a well trained ambassador would have been the one to explain these things instead of you.

“Tori was the daughter of Earth’s ambassador, she’s explained these things to me several times, I just still don’t understand how your people operate on Earth.”

“We had an ambassador? Like someone from Earth?” You asked, you couldn’t believe you were that out of touch with the media that you didn’t know someone had been sent into space to represent Earth in the Star Wars Universe. You blinked, that sentence sounded so ridiculous in your head.

“No, not at all.” He said, giggling just a bit at your small outburst. “We in the galactic embassy had not gotten the chance to contact Earth, since you run your planet with several different leaders. We were worried we’d start a war with your people, so somebody was elected to make decisions on behalf of Earth during embassy meetings and voting and so on, that was Torellia’s father. He made all of your decisions regarding territory wars, resources, and elections.” You blinked at the explanation, couldn’t come up with anything else to say other than ‘I see.’

“That’s how I met Tori. She and her father spent time in the Order as they were our allies. She would parade herself up and down the halls with clothing that just looked quite odd. Prisms that had the words ‘Pink Floyd’ on them, languages from all over the globe, flags for different states and countries, and she always had these two wires in her ears that were attached to some musical device called an ‘ipod.’ She was intriguing, and when I finally managed to befriend her she would tell me all about Earth and their culture.” 

“She likes all these things from Earth, but she never told you about Star Wars?” You had to laugh just a bit at yourself. Pink Floyd, Disney, the Beatles, she brought all of these Earthly things to the table but failed to tell him that he was a celebrity in our world. “Guess not.” He affirmed, you smiled down at your half eaten pepper, this was silly. 

“They stayed on the base for several months, and when it came time to leave Tori wanted to stay because we had become so close. Her father told her no, she was only 19 and needed to stay with him. I don’t know if she loved me at that point, but I loved her enough to grieve when her father dragged her away from me. It would be years before I saw her again, and when she came back all on her own she said she was here to stay.” He dropped his fork before sighing and rubbing his forehead, you couldn’t help but to wonder why he always felt the need to tell you about Tori when clearly the thought brought him so much grief.

“Commander, if I may?” You interrupted him. “You don’t have to tell me about Tori, if the subject upsets you.” You were shy, almost didn’t want to admit the second half of your explanation because it almost pained you to admit this. “I, I don’t like seeing you so sad.”

Kylo blinked at you, then nodded sadly. “I appreciate that.” He looked back down at his plate, and from there the two of you continued your dinner in complete silence.

 

“You didn’t drink much of your Bourbon.” Kylo noted as he began clearing the dishes from the small table. You were certain you only had one sip, and that was because you were so thirsty but refused to drink alcohol in Kylo’s presence. The last thing you needed was to be inebriated around him, you weren’t sure how far he wanted to take the whole Torellia thing with you, but if you were drunk it would make it that much easier for him to catch you off guard and do things to you that you’d never approve of. 

“I’m not a real heavy drinker.” You came up with the simplest excuse as to why you didn’t drink much and he seemed to have bought it. “Can I get you some water then?” You nodded your head, water would be perfect. You watched as he took your glass of Bourbon and downed the majority of it in on swing, then walked over to the kitchen and dumped the remainder in the sink before filling it with water, and returning it to you. He watched you a little too closely as you smiled and took a swing, you couldn’t stand him watching you so much so you simply handed the half full glass back to him and smiled. 

“Was the food good?” He asked. “It was, thank you.” 

“You didn’t tell me so after eating, usually you tell me it was delicious.” You flashed him a crooked smile, not sure if you should have been more creeped out by his revelation or if he pointed it out in simple good nature. 

“Well, thank you for having dinner with me. I’ll be retiring to my quarters for the rest of the evening. If you need anything just open the door, okay?” You nodded happily, wishing he’d just got and leave you to yourself. Maybe you would try to relax to some of Tori’s music for the rest of the evening, or go through some more of her Disney movies or something until you were ready to fall asleep.

“Have a good evening, y/n.” Kylo said, and before you knew it he was turning his back, walking through the door to his quarters. Once it had closed you had finally relaxed. You had this room all to yourself now, you had almost wished you could have kept that bottle of Bourbon to help fully relax you.

Your evening was uneventful. You decided to shower, to watch Toy Story 3, and to call it a night as soon as the movie was over because you wanted to feel how comfortable the bed would feel. After your shower you found a modest pair of light pink pajamas in the back of Tori’s closet, and after your movie you bunkered down into her bed. She had a memory foam mattress, and her bedsheets felt so clean and neat. The comforter was out of this world, so silky and so comfortable, probably worth more than your entire apartment back at home combined. You took a huge whiff, happy to know that the smell of freshly cleaned laundry existed in outer space too. You could put it off no longer, after flexing your toes and curling your fingers into the comforter you reached over to the light and turned it off. Engulfed in the darkness you shut your eyes tight, the mattress began to conform to your body and you almost were instantly lulled into dreamworld. As you were falling asleep you decided wholeheartedly that putting up with Kylo and his obsessive tendencies today was definitely worth it every second of sleep you’d be getting tonight. 

Well, not every second of sleep. Your sleep had been excellent for about three or four hours straight. You had good dreams, dreams of your home and work and just Earth in General. It was wonderful, at least up until you dreamed of a coworker watching you sleep in your bed at home.

He had pulled a chair from your dining area up next to your bed and you could feel his eyes on you. It was creepy, but try as you might you couldn’t wake up and tell him to go away. You were mortified when he stood up and began running his fingers through your hair, bringing pieces of it up to his nose and smelling them. Your dream was so hyper realistic, you could almost feel his hand as he brushed strands out of your face. You grimaced, told him to stop as you turned on your back. It was weird, you didn’t even know that particular coworker that well. 

“I’m sorry, Tori.” He said,  and in your dream you instantly began to panic as his voice came out sounding almost like Kylo’s. “What?” You asked, and as soon as you finally understood that you weren’t dreaming, that someone was actually brushing your hair with their hands as you slept your eyes flew open, realizing that there could only be one person that could and would do such a thing to you. You gasped, as your eyes adjusted to the surrounding darkness you only managed to see Kylo sneaking back into his quarters, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh we're just getting to the good part.


	8. Chapter 8

Fighting your sleep as hard as you could, you kept your eyes glued to the door. It was terrifying, the thought of Kylo coming into the room while you were sleeping and just staring at you. The chair that had previously been in the dining room and was now sitting next to your bed could only confirm it for you, he had come into the room and watched you sleep, rubbing your hair in the process. You shivered as you clutched the comfortable blanket around you, blinking as you felt your eyes drooping. You couldn’t go to sleep now, you were too afraid of what would possibly happen if you closed your eyes again.

It starts with sneaking in and feeling, smelling, and running his hands through your hair, who knows how far it could go if you didn’t put an end to it?

You felt your eyes drooping shut again, just as they closed you could have sworn you saw the door open once again. Once you opened them again and your eyes adjusted you saw no one, the door was still closed and you didn’t see Ren anywhere in the room. With a heavy sigh, you decided that maybe if you just closed your eyes and listened for the door opening you could confront him and ask him why he was being such a creep. You yawned, thinking you wouldn’t have any issues with that. Your eyes shut and you became sensitive to all noises around you, you could hear all of the mechanical noises and all of the storm troopers marching outside of your door. Surely this would be okay, all you had to do was listen out for the door opening. It wouldn’t be so bad.

Of course, it wasn’t that easy. The next noise that you woke up to was the sound of knocking on the door that separated you from Kylo. Your eyes flew open and you sat straight up, the sun was out and you realized you had fallen asleep after you swore you wouldn’t. “Oh, shit.” You said just as Kylo knocked again. You felt your hair, it still felt just as long as it was before you went to bed. At least he had not come in and cut it all off. 

He called out your name and assured you that it was him on the other side of the door, you wrapped yourself as tightly as you could in the blanket before allowing him access to his own room. You had felt violated, you didn’t want him seeing you after he had overstepped a huge boundary in your opinion, even if you were fully clothed in Tori’s pajamas. The door opened and in stepped Kylo, dressed in a loose white T-shirt and some grey sleeping pants. He looked relaxed, too relaxed for a man that had come in and creeped on you in the middle of the night. He looked as if he had just woken up and didn’t have a care in the world, strutting into her room and looking at her like they were just a happy couple. 

“Good morning, y/n.” He said stiffly, bringing his arms up behind his head and stretching the sleepiness away. This was the first time you had ever seen him in something other than the full black uniform you had met him in. You admired the muscles in his arms: so large and muscular, so toned and well maintained. You couldn’t stop your thoughts from wandering to his other muscles, did he have a six pack? Were the muscles in his back just as sexy as the muscles in his arms? You closed your eyes momentarily as you thought that was the silliest thing ever to be thinking about. You couldn’t be thinking of the man that was currently pretending you were his ex girlfriend that he allegedly abused, coming into the room at night to feel and smell your hair, and hit you and yelled at you during your first meeting as ‘sexy.’ Although, you couldn’t hide from the fact that he was a very handsome man in the face, he just had a personality that you felt like you needed to stay far, far, away from. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were awake, it’s going on 11:30 and I couldn’t wait any longer for breakfast.” He said, his face changing from very tired and relaxed to completely neutral and unreadable. You nodded once, thanked him silently while you wondered about how late it was. He seemed tired, did that mean he had slept this entire time with you or did he wake up at the normal time around 7 am when the rest of the base did?

“To answer your question,” He began, cutting rudely into your thoughts once again and walking over to the side of the bed. You curled further down into the blanket away from him, just seeing him making his way over to you made you ill. Did he walk over to your sleeping body last night as confidently as he did just now, or was he nervous about what he wanted to do to you? “I’ve taken the morning off of work to make sure you were well taken care of. I took the opportunity to sleep in, if you must know.” He explained harshly, all while taking the back of the chair he had placed next to your bed and lifting it in the air. He brought it back over to the table and held a very rigid stance over it, looking as if he were angry at you for wondering about his sleeping habits. “Now, are you ready to eat?” He asked angrily, you realized that he was probably embarrassed about being caught playing with your hair and was hoping you wouldn’t have remembered. 

“Um, yeah.” You said, beginning to unravel yourself from your blanket. “Can I just, I’ll take a quick shower and then I’ll be out.” It was a statement, you wanted a shower to wake your sleepy senses and prepare you for the rest of your day, but the way it came out it sounded like you were seeking Kylo’s permission. Well, you probably should have been asking since none of this was yours, but you still felt terrible for being in this entire situation anyway. To think, if you would have just gone to work that fateful day you wouldn’t be asking for permission to shower before breakfast, you wouldn’t be in this situation at all.

“Are you sure? The food will be here soon, like 5 minutes or so.” You shrugged, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and looking to the bathroom. “I mean, I don’t have to--”

“Please, I want you to be here when the food arrives.” Kylo nodded his head after cutting you off, reaching for the chair he had just put back at the table. You swallowed a thick wad of saliva, desperately trying to hold off your tears. He was being adamant, determined to spend as much time with you as he could. It was off putting, but you felt like you had to oblige him since he was kind enough to let you sleep in his ex’s room.

“Okay, should I ch--”

“No, I’d just like you to come sit at the table.” He said with just a hint of irritation in his voice. You could no longer put it off, Kylo wanted you and he wanted you this very second.

You uncurled yourself from the comforter and set your feet onto the floor. You shivered as you felt far too exposed in your little pink tank top, at least you had on long pants and not little shorts. You felt the need to stretch, something you always did in the morning without fail, but decided not to as you felt Kylo’s harsh stare on the side of your face. Without looking at him you rose to your feet, crossed your arms in front of your chest and made your way over to the small table. He held the chair out for you cordially as he always did, you sat down submissively and stared straight ahead at his door as you heard Kylo rummaging through a drawer behind you. You heard him stepping toward the table again before sitting down at the table, the chessboard from yesterday in his hand.

“Your first chess lesson begins now.” He said, not breaking your gaze. He began setting up the pieces up and when everything was all said and done he pushed the small button on his side of the board and all of his pieces lit up red just like last time. He looked at you to do the same, to light all of your pieces up white and get ready to learn. Your jaw went slack, hadn’t he just said breakfast food would be here soon?

“I, I’m confused.” You spoke up, not sure what else to say. “What’s there to be confused about? I’m going to teach you everything you need to know.” He confidently spoke as if this was the most natural thing in the world. Holding a woman hostage, not allowing her to shower or change her clothes, then trying to teach her how to play chess. “No, um. The food? Didn’t you say the food was going to be here in like five minutes?” He blinked at you before letting go of a large breath, he took a hold of one of his smaller chess pieces and presented it to you. “This is called a pawn. During its first move it can move forward one or two spaces, after that it can only move diagonally to capture the other player's piece.” He had completely ignored your question in favor of beginning to teach you how to play, which likely meant he had gotten you out of bed just so he could teach you how to play chess. You stayed quiet for the remainder of his explanations, reassuring yourself that it was either learning about pawns, rooks, and bishops or sitting in a cell in your own filth. 

“Now, if I move my knight like this,” Kylo went onto explain, you sat listening as intently as you could to him. Watching him move his red pieces all over the board and collecting your white ones in the process of teaching you what moves would and would not work. “That won’t work, because at this point I need to be moving it one square in this perpendicular direction.” It had been upwards of about 45 minutes, there was still no food, you still felt next to naked, and you just wanted a shower to perk you up. You had tried to ask questions here and there about things you didn’t understand just so you didn’t look disinterested, hoping that you’d get through this explanation without any more hurt feelings or intimidating words.

Another five minutes went by and suddenly there was a faint knock from inside of Kylo’s quarters. He looked up at you for a hot second before whispering that he’d be right back. He left you alone, looking at the colorful chess board and soaking in all of the information he had shared with you. You thought that maybe he was planning on challenging you to another game of chess soon, otherwise why would he have started teaching you?

Kylo came back in no time with a cart of food as usual, and my god! Did it smell delicious. He lifted the silver plate cover and revealed two cheesy omelets with all of the best dressings: Bacon, onion, and bell pepper. On the side there was sausage, and each of you had two pancakes and an array of different syrups to choose from. You smiled at the food, you had forgotten your favorite part of staying in Tori’s room was getting great food from Kylo.

Kylo went on to explain more about chess over breakfast, you found that you were much more interested in what he had to say when your belly was being filled with delicious food. Real, fresh eggs instead of frozen plastic synthetic eggs. Thick, smokey pieces of bacon instead of translucent pieces of pork with no taste at all. As soon as the fluffy egg rested on your tongue for the first time you truly woke up, crunching the crip pieces of bell pepper and onion happily between your teeth. You were thankful, and made sure Kylo knew it by flashing him a genuine smile. 

Even though you were happy to hear about chess and how Kylo learned from Tori, you didn’t object when the subject changed once again to his ex lover. Kylo went on and on about how Tori would try and cook but wasn’t ever very good. She had wanted Kylo to try food from around the world: Poutine from Canada, fried chicken from America, crepes from France, orange chicken from China, and Chiko Rolls from Australia. Of course she had never tried any of those foods first hand, but you had and Kylo was interested in hearing what you had to say about them. 

“I have a friend who moved to Virginia from Montreal who loved Poutine. It’s not actually pronounced like that though. It’s pronounced ‘poo-tain,’ I only know because she would get upset at me if I pronounced it ‘poo-teen.’” Kylo chuckled at your explanation, acknowledging his mispronunciation and asking you to describe more foods for him. “Fried chicken in America is hit or miss really, you have to find someone who knows how to make it right. There’s Chinese food places all over the place where I’m from, I usually only end up getting General Tso’s chicken though. I’m more of a Mexican food kind of girl anyway.” 

“Mexican foods?” Kylo asked, sticking a pieces of his pancake in his mouth. “Yeah, our neighbors down south. They make good food. There’s tacos, enchiladas, tex-mex is my favorite by far. Lots of spices, meat, and sauces.” He grinned, you could tell he had finally wound down and started to enjoy his time with you. “Do you enjoy cooking these foods?” He asked, you couldn’t hold back a bit of a giggle. “I like to cook, but I’m no good at cooking foods from different cultures. I can cook like, basic things. Like macaroni and cheese, scrambled eggs, spaghetti.” You tried desperately to recall other things you could cook, but the fact of the matter was you didn’t often cook. Nobody had ever taught you really, so you had to learn on your own. 

“Well, cooking is still cooking.” Kylo offered you a small confidence boost. “Ever since I’ve come into the Order I’ve never had to cook. Someone has always cooked for me. It’s embarrassing, but I don’t know how to cook at all.” You blushed, cooking was so fundamental and so much fun, even the dishes that you had only tried once and failed at were fun to try. “I can teach you, if you want.” You spoke up, before even realizing what you were saying. Kylo lifted his brows at you, seemed to consider your offer. “We will see.” He said before continuing to cut into his omelet. 

“How come the food always comes from your room? Can’t they bring it to this door here?” You asked after a brief moment of silence. You were curious, Kylo was always bringing every meal into Tori’s room from his, you just felt like making small talk and wanted to know why he was taking the long way around. Kylo stared at you, a hard, unreadable look in his eye. You didn’t expect him to reply at all really, but much to your surprise he spoke up. “I don’t want people to know that this room is currently being occupied again.” The smile fell from your face, you didn’t know what that meant for you.

Breakfast continued over more small talk about Torellia of course, and as you were downing the rest of your orange juice Kylo collected up all the plates and set them back on the cart. “I have another challenge for you.” He said, turning around and taking your glass from your hand. “Play me in chess, armed with the knowledge I’ve given you I’m sure you’ll do better than last time.” He walked over to Tori’s kitchen counter and retrieved the glass chessboard, placing it gingerly on the table in front of you. You tried to recall as much information as you could, up to the challenge this time you felt like you remembered as much information as you needed to at least not royally screw up like you did the last time. “Are you gonna take me back to the jail if I lose?” You asked. “Probably not.” He affirmed, setting the chess pieces up just as he did the last two times you two had played. “But if you win, I’ll take you somewhere special.” Your imagination ran wild as you thought of where he could take you. Back home, perhaps? No, probably not. Maybe it would be to somewhere where him and Tori liked to spend time together. Sure it would bother you, to know he was taking you somewhere just to relive memories about his ex lover, but at least you’d be able to go somewhere new. 

You smiled as you pressed the button and watched your chess pieces light up like they always did. “I see you’ve accepted my challenge.” Kylo said as he moved one of his pawns forward two spaces. “I certainly have.” You retorted, making your first move as well.

 

During the entire match it felt as if Kylo were egging you on like a child, helping you with your moves and you were almost certain he was making simple moves just to help you out. “No, don’t move that piece there. The bishop can only move to here, remember? Why don’t you move that piece there instead?” He’d offer, and you’d say something along the lines of ‘Oh! I knew that!’ before taking his suggestion. Before you knew it you had his king cornered, his queen captured, and the next move you got to make you had officially checkmated the great Kylo Ren.

“Oh my god. I did it!” You exclaimed, holding Kylo’s red king in your hand. “I did it, I can’t believe I won a fucking game of chess!” You were elated, you had never won a game of chess in your life. “With a little help from me, of course.” Kylo said, the king in your hand went from being bright red to its regular frosted glass color. You giggled, wanted to taunt him a little bit didn’t think it would be a good idea to taunt him. He could still hurt you, you wanted to keep things good while they were.

“Put some clothes on, have a shower. We’ll be leaving as soon as you’re ready.” Kylo explained before heading into his room. Before he shut the door you could see him lifting his shirt, from the small look you had gotten you were certain the muscles in his back looked as good as you thought they did.

 

You wore a grey sundress and marched down the halls next to Kylo. This was the first time you had gone out into the base without a blindfold or a blanket blocking part of your body. This time you were just you, natural and unobstructed. It felt wonderful. Kylo wore his helmet and said nothing to you the entire time, which was fine with you. This was the first time you had gotten to observe the setting of the previously fictional universe in person, you had to wonder if there was a Harry Potter alternative. 

You walked and walked until you reached a vaguely familiar door. The library, Kylo had led you to the library. You bit your lip as you felt your fingers tremble, maybe he really was about to send you back home. He opened the door and held it open for you, with your fingers in knots in front of your stomach you trekked through all while desperately trying not to remember what had gone down in this very library. 

“Relax, y/n. I’m not going to hurt you.” Kylo said as he placed his hand on your lower back and led you past the aisles filled with an abundance of books. You tried to take his advice, trying to enjoy the feeling of his hand on your back as if you were a couple. When you looked straight ahead at the bunch of books that surrounded you, ignored the several storm troopers patrolling the aisles, you could imagine that you and a loved one were simply taking a walk through your local library and it was actually enjoyable. 

“Not a lot of people frequent the library since all of our texts have been digitized, but it was always one of Tori’s favorite places.” Of course it was, you wanted to snarl at him but kept your mouth shut in fear of the retaliation. “She enjoyed coming down here and looking at the maps and atlases of various territories.”

“Mostly of Earth, I’m sure?” You asked, looking up at him. “Of course. She used to bring home maps of Europe and tell me all about her perfect road trip through all 50 countries. She had such large ambitions, I can only hope that she’s accomplishing all of them.” You smiled, thinking about all the things you could be accomplishing back on your ‘home planet’ right now if only Kylo would send you back.

“I’ve told you, I can’t send you back.” He said rather stiffly before abruptly turning down an aisle. His gait picked up and you did your best to keep up with him as you went further and further into the aisle. “That’s why I brought you here today, I thought I owed you a proper explanation on how you got here and why I am unable to send you back.” He finally stopped and turned to you, it was on the darker side and you were all alone, you found that Kylo was even more intimidating under these conditions. 

“The system was set up specifically for two uses: Once to send Torellia to Earth and one for her to come back if she needed to. The way it transfers people to and from certain points is incredibly obvious as they tend to just manifest in the predetermined location. It’s fine when they’re coming back to Star Killer, but for someone to just appear on Earth’s surface out of the blue would draw too much attention. We were lucky that we were able to pinpoint a back alley for her to start her Earthly journey in, because that’s how the connection between the two books is made. Once she was safely on Earth I could write her notes and they’d be safely transferred between the two books.

“The notes had to be put in a certain spot on the 323rd page to be transferred, but for her to be able to come back home she would have had to put the notes in the very top of the page, which I’m certain is what you did before you burned it. Am I correct?” You gulped, he sounded so angry and bitter while explaining how the mechanics of his super space age technology worked. “I, I guess so. She told me not to turn to the page and I did anyway, when I did I found three of your notes. I was so freaked out that I set them back into the spine of the book and closed it, then I threw it into the fire.” Kylo shook his head at you before turning back to the books and running a gloved finger over the spines. 

“Well, what certainly happened after that was a few things. You got very tired, likely collapsed due to extreme exhaustion because your bodies atomical make-up can not be transferred between the books awake, it would be too painful. You then simply disappeared into thin air while you were being pulled apart and put back together, traveling through the void to Star Killer until you reached the library where you were reassembled. The only issue is, when you destroyed the Ben Solo book, the other book was destroyed as well. I know it may seem overwhelming, the amount of technology we have at our disposal and everything, and I know it may seem simple to you to rebuild, but it isn’t that easy.

“After our fallout it took us a week to figure out what exactly we wanted to do with each other, and after Torellia decided she wanted nothing to do with me we decided we’d figure out a way to send her to Earth we needed to find a way to get her there without causing hysteria, and that is what we came up with. It took us 3 months to perfect it, and after it had been tested several times and we had a 100 percent guarantee that it would be safe for her to travel through it she went off.” Once again the conversation turned to Tori and it took such a depressing turn for the worst. Kylo was still going through the spines of the books sounding so sad. He had obviously not taken your suggestion about not speaking of her and you found it was still breaking your heart.

But as you watched him going through the spines idly, mourning the loss of his ex girlfriend Toriellia that he clearly loved so much, you had one burning question on your mind; a question that, now that you had gotten so comfortable with Kylo, you had accidentally thought out loud instead of in your head:

“But, why did she want to leave you?” You cringed as the words left your lips, realizing that you had overstepped a boundary that should never have been crossed. Now you were liable to be punished for it. Kylo stilled for a moment before reaching for a particular book he had found and pulling it from the others. “That, my dear,” He began, placing it in your hands. You looked down at it, a photo of your world graced the front with the title  The Great List of Earthly Recipes . “...is a story for another time.” He said, not even bothering to look at you as he turned out of the aisle and into the main library once again. You turned and followed him, haunted by his refusal to answer your question. However, the fact that he had handed you a cook book from your planet spoke volumes of what he thought of you now. He wanted you to teach him how to cook, he wanted you to learn how to cook new things. Kylo cared about you to some degree, that much you were certain of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more month till I go on vacation. Counting down the days, man.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to announce that work will be resuming on all my other works since Teach me is Finished.

Kylo led you back to Tori’s room where you simply sat on the floor and went through the book he had given you. It was so weird to read about simple dishes like chicken curry and chocolate cake being described as ‘alien’ and ‘interplanetary.’ You had started to feel at home on Star Killer Base, but you constantly tried to keep it in the forefront of your mind that this was not home. You wondered what was going on in DC right now without you? Was your family worried about you? Did you still have your job and your apartment? Was Tori down there telling everyone about your disappearance? You flipped the page of your book once again, this time pulling up a recipe for cheesecake. What would Kylo want you to cook for him tonight?

Time passed and soon there was a knock at the door that connects you to Kylo’s room. You looked up from the couch and shouted at him to come in. Kylo stalked in as he always did, and even though he didn’t expect you to treat him like royalty (since you were acting as his girlfriend) you still stood to greet him. “Have you gotten a chance to go through your book?” He asked, taking a look down at it on the floor. You nodded your head, bending down and showing him the page about cheesecake. “It’s so weird, to think that you guys don’t have this stuff that’s literally everywhere on Earth.” 

“Cheesecake?” Kylo asked, lifting a brow at the photo of the delicious dessert in your book. “Do you on Earth really just mix cheese and cake? That sounds disgusting.” 

You giggled lightly at him, closing the book and moving to set it down on the dining room table. As you did you noticed a pain in your stomach, like it was upset and cramping at the same time. It was unusual, you placed your hand on your stomach and felt as the contents bubbled around inside of you. “You use other things too. It tastes very sweet and tasty as long as it’s made correctly.” You opened the book one more time to see if you could find anything else that might catch Kylo’s fancy, but found that looking at the food made you feel even more ill. 

“Maybe you could make us dessert tonight then? Cheesecake, that way I can know how good it tastes.” You could tell from the tone of his voice that he was being light and playful, but you weren’t feeling any of it. You closed the book, turned around and looked at him with a shy, sympathetic look on your face. You knew he was looking forward to learning about Earth’s many cultures through the food you could cook, but suddenly you weren’t feeling up to it. “What’s the matter?” He asked. Without any warning he reached out and took your chin in his hand, moving your face around and studying it as if he were trying to diagnose your ailments himself. “You look sick, or upset over something.” 

You bit down on your lip, averted your gaze from his beautiful eyes. It was so strange to think that he cared so much about you, he was able to pick up on the fact that you weren’t feeling well and wanted to know what was wrong. The man with the sexy muscles, the handsome face, and the dazzling eyes cared about you, someone who was merely a prisoner in his eyes. For some reason it was so alluring to you, you felt special in some kind of way, special to him that was. You were almost attracted to him in some type of way, felt yourself leaning a little closer to him. It was wrong, so wrong but at the moment you could live with him caring about you, not overly obsessing about you or anything else of the sort.

“You’re blushing.” He cut into your fantasies softly, you hadn’t even felt your cheeks heating up until he pointed it out. What little smile that had grown on your lips from admiring him had slid right off of your face as you realized you had been staring at him, your stomach cramped up once again and you worked your way out from his fingers. You turned toward the table and sat down, as soon as your butt hit the seat a wave of nausea hit you and electric pain echoed throughout your lower half. “I’m sorry, Kylo. I’m not feeling that great.” You said, placing your arms on the table and laying your head down on top of them. “I don’t know that I can cook for us tonight.” 

From up above you came a light chuckle, something was amiss. You opened your eyes and saw Kylo staring down at you with an amused smile on his face, you didn’t have to think too hard about what he was grinning at. He read too far into your blush, he probably thought you were attracted to him or something. You let out a groan as more pain circled around in your abdomen, what trouble had you gotten yourself into now? The man who was having you impersonate his ex-girlfriend now believed that you wanted him. Just great!

You closed your eyes and turned your head back into your arms as you felt your blush coming back. Okay, you were willing to admit that Kylo Ren was rather good looking, and under any other circumstance you’d probably take the time to get to know him, but that was it. That was as far as you were willing to go. 

“I understand, you seem pained. How about you just rest and I’ll have dinner delivered to us later on this evening?” You nodded your head, smiling down at the table below you. At least Kylo was understanding enough to give you a break when you needed it. You knew he was looking forward to trying your cooking tonight, but he was humble enough to recognize that you weren’t feeling well enough to cook. You heard him turn around and leave the room, closing the door behind him. As soon as you were certain he was gone you lifted your head, staring at his door and thinking of the image of his face from earlier. The stone hard look of concern, his warm, lovely fingers on your chin. He really was a handsome man, and you had to wonder once again what went wrong in his and Tori’s relationship for her to want to leave him.

 

About an hour went by and Kylo had delivered dinner for the two of you: Tonight was Shepards Pie, and Kylo was so eager to hear you tell him about Earth’s version of the dish. You explained that sometimes people add veggies to it, sometimes people use actual pie crust, and sometimes people add more meat than what the First Order’s kitchen added. With a curious look of interest on his face he’d ask you how you would have made the dish, you tried to answer him as best as you could having not actually made the dish yourself. You told him that you probably would have added more meat to the bottom, and instead of ground beef you would have made it mutton like they do in England. You would have added a little more salt and pepper, and maybe a bit of Worcestershire sauce as well. You were sure the only thing Kylo understood from that sentence was the comment about salt and pepper, but that was okay. You considered the deal to be a trade off of sorts: Kylo would teach you about chess and you would teach him about cooking, or at least what you yourself could learn about it from his home.

When dinner was over Kylo collected up the dishes and bit you a goodnight, left you alone for the rest of the night. You were still feeling ill, the horrible pain in your abdomen had turned from a jolt or cramp every once and a while to a constant dull ache from your stomach to your ass. You weren’t sure what to think of it, really. After you took a shower and gotten yourself settled down into bed you figured your body was only just now adjusting to life in space. Maybe you had been too stressed out to feel it before, your body had just been in survival mode for the weeks you had spent in the cells and with Kylo before he had started treating you like a human being. 

Nevertheless, you were still tired and ready to disappear into dream land for a while. You snuggled down into bed and closed your eyes, hoping that you’d feel well enough to cook the handsome man that had looked out for you some food, just like he wanted you too. You didn’t want to disappoint him when he had been so accommodating to you today. You allowed yourself to drift away, the last thing in your mind before falling completely asleep being Kylo’s smirk once he recognized the blush in your cheeks. 

 

You were awoken by the feeling of someone’s hand flying out from under your covers, the sheets below you were warm and wet and you were mortified to think you had wet the bed. “Oh shit,” They said, and you didn’t have to think too hard about who ‘they’ were. You looked over and found Kylo Ren standing from the chair he had grabbed from the dining table, his hand held out in front of his face as he seemed to be panicking about something. You sat up, and as your lower half moved around you were met with an all too familiar pain in your uterus, the horrifying realization set in and you were throwing the covers off of you just to confirm your suspicions. 

“You’re, you’re bleeding!” Kylo exclaimed, you reached for the light next to Tori’s bed and flipped it on only to be so horrified that you wanted to turn it back off. Whenever girls had said the phrase ‘I fell asleep on white sheets and woke up on the Japanese flag’ you thought they were exaggerating, thinking most had woken up with just a small patch of blood on their sheets and their sleeping clothes.

But this was the physical embodiment of waking up on the flag of Japan. Had your bed been an actual flag, you were sure the pool of blood you had produced while you slept would have met the portions to be the actual red circle on the Japanese flag. 

Mortified you threw a helpless look at Kylo who was standing looking over the damage done to Tori’s bed just as you had a second ago. His fingers were red down to his palm, and had you not been so disgusted and shocked at yourself you would have taken the time to realize what that had meant. 

But you didn’t. You jumped up as fast as you could, just now remembering that you were in need of a new birth control shot weeks prior and because you didn’t get it your period hit you and hit you heavy and hard. You stood to your feet and felt even more clots of blood fall from your body and into your underwear, further ruining Torellia’s clothes that Kylo had been kind enough to let you use. You couldn’t stand to look at him, instead burying your face in your hands and making a beeline to the bathroom. You felt Kylo’s horrified gaze on the back of your head as you entered the bathroom and hid from him, how could you have forgotten such an important part of your life?

With tears in your eyes you stripped down, removing your shirt first and then your pajama pants which had been completely saturated with your menstrual blood. Had these been your clothes you probably would have just thrown them out, knowing that no amount of laundry detergent could save them. You ran the shower and got in as fast as you could, not caring that the cold water was running at first before the hot water could calm you down and relax you. You cried, worried about what Kylo would think about you since you had ruined his lover’s bed and her clothes. You sank down the wall of the shower and allowed your tears to flow freely, thinking you had probably just bought yourself a one way ticket back to the cells where you would once again be treated poorly, missing the luxuries Kylo had spoiled you with other the last few days.


	10. Chapter 10

Sitting pressed up against the wall you sobbed into your arms and knees. You were in so much pain, every time your body would expel a clot of blood your uterus would contract and you’d cry even harder. Your doctor had discussed the consequences of being a week late on missing your birth control shot, and one of them was a heavier than normal period. The reason why you were on the shot was because your periods were already heavy and borderline unbearable, you were always sure to be in your doctor's office every three months for your regularly scheduled birth control shot, but of course that’s not what you were thinking when you were imprisoned in the First Order.

 _Kylo is going to kill me_ . It was the one and only thing you could think about as the warm water cascaded over your body. The thought of his blood stained fingers had finally crossed your mind, and the more you thought about it the further you pushed it back into your mind. His hand had clearly been down your pants, and at some point he realized the warm and sticky fluid that existed in between your legs was blood his hand shot out from under the covers, waking you up and bringing your attention to the issue. He was trying to molest you, probably fingering you while you slept and your body had chased him off. First it was hair smelling, now it was actual penetration. You shivered at the idea, wanting to be more afraid than you actually were. But your life had been flipped upside down and gone so far left that you actually justified it being better than in the cells. In the cells you had several people sexually harassing you. At least here, with Kylo, it was just one man. You stilled as the thought ran through your mind, _wow._ Only in the Star Wars Universe would you think such an awful thought.

_I have something for you. May I come in?_

Kylo’s voice ran through your mind, reminding you that you weren’t even alone inside of your own thoughts when you were with him. Even though you wanted to tell him no, that you wanted to be alone and still cry it out while the heat of the shower comforted you, but this was his home. You were his guest, and you felt like you couldn’t tell him no. All you could do was nod your head as if he could hear you, and evidently he did.

The bathroom door opened and you watched Kylo’s shadow float from the door all the way to the counter. He said nothing else, out of the corner of your eye you watched him place the package on the counter and leave you once again. There was silence all around you save for the water falling from the ceiling and hitting the tiled floor, with a heavy sigh you moved stand to your feet and shut off the shower, thinking whatever Kylo wanted you to have you’d want to see it as soon as possible.

With the lingering heat from the shower hugging your bare skin, you stepped over to the towel rack where you seized a plush black towel and wrapped it snuggly around yourself and looked over to the counter. You lifted a brow as you realized it was a much bigger group of items than you thought, items that included an entire pack of over night and regular sized pads, one box of tampons, a new pack of underwear, and a box of generic painkillers. Your jaw was slack as you stood there completely stunned, staring down at the light, pastel hues that normally came on period products were replaced with bold blacks and stark whites as if these were just standard issue products. But that was okay, because basic period products that might not have been that comfortable were better than nothing at all. You ripped open the box of tampons and headed straight to the toilet. After you had your clothes and dressings all in order you once again wrapped yourself in a towel, you could only hope that Kylo would allow you to bring what you needed back to the cells with you when he ultimately sentenced you back there.

When you first exited the bathroom you were shocked to see that Tori’s bed had been fully made up, new blanket and pillows and everything. You took half a step toward it, feeling the need to pull the covers back just to see if the bloodstain from that morning was still there, but you heard the door knob jiggling and quickly moved to the closet. You didn’t want Kylo walking in on your naked after he had tried to take advantage of you during your sleep.

As quick as you could you threw on some more of Tori’s clothes, then stopping to listen to Kylo’s heavy footsteps as he walked across Tori’s room to her bed, then sat down loudly onto it. You sighed, ran your hand down your face as you realized he was waiting for you. What time was it anyway? The sun hadn’t come up when you sprinted to the bathroom and you were certain you would rather be sleeping than dealing with this mess. You realized that hiding in Torellia’s closet would not help anything, it was time to face the music. You tried to reason with yourself that he’d either be telling you to march down to the cells or for you’d get to stay with him, that was it. It’d be one or the other and there would be no way you could influence him in either direction, so you might as well get it over with as fast as possible.

You gripped the door handle and pushed the door open, and just as you suspected Kylo was sitting on Tori’s bed staring at you. His face was unreadable as you leaned against the closet door, staring back at him just waiting for him to demand you leave his lover’s room. He was still dressed in his sleeping clothes, his white shirt and black sleeping pants. It made you think that if he were planning to return you to the cells then at least he wasn’t planning on doing it tonight.

He stood, then stepped aside from the bed and held his arm out to it. “I got you clean sheets, hop back in.” He said very nonchalantly. You stared blankly at him, you weren’t expecting him to be this nice about the issue. “Do you not believe me?” He asked, then reached for the top sheets and pulled them back. Sure enough your blood stain was gone, it was as if it hadn’t been there at all. “Did, did you change the sheet?” You asked, unable to think of anything else to say. Kylo squinted at you, then shook his head. “Does it matter? I couldn’t let you sleep in such a mess.” He explained, then once again that caring feeling you had felt earlier that day returned. He could have said no, or yes, or he could have just left it at ‘does it matter.’ But no, he wanted you to know that he personally could not let you sleep on bloody sheets. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t have bothered to have the sheets changed, or even to provide you with what you needed, he probably would have even kicked you out as soon as his fingers came out of your pants red. There was something about you that he was drawn to enough to go out of his way to provide for you, and you were beginning to wonder if that would be an issue for you.

“Now get into bed, I’ll see you for breakfast in the morning.” He said, he sounded so tired and so irritated with you all of the sudden. You watched him as he walked toward the door to his bedroom, then watched as it closed behind him. You rubbed your arms as you felt the strange feelings stirring inside of you again. Taking a few steps to the bed you tried to talk some sense into yourself once again: You had caught that man reaching into your pants and sniffing your hair while you slept. You shouldn’t be feeling this way toward him. As you crawled into your now clean bed you blamed your period hormones, the fact that you had missed your last shot had messed everything up for you and you weren’t thinking clearly. That’s all it was, had you been in your right frame of mind you wouldn’t be thinking this way about the man currently holding you hostage.

You checked the small clock by Tori’s bed, it read 5:22 AM. Pushing as many of your feelings as you could to the side you set an alarm for ten AM, it wouldn’t be good to sleep longer past that with a tampon in. You wrapped the covers around yourself and tried your hardest to sleep, but instead you ended up watching the sun rise until you could no longer keep your eyes open. You had noted that the sun was so much duller than the sun on Earth, whatever planet you were on must have been so much further to the sun than Earth was. Your last thought before finally drifting off to sleep was a question of if you were revolving around the same sun as Earth was, and if you weren’t then exactly how far away were you?

You woke to a nudge to your shoulder, Kylo whispering your name to gently rouse you from your slumber. Your eyes refused to open at first, feeling like you hadn’t gotten enough sleep at first before finally opening to see Kylo bent over the bed in his usual spot. This time without touching doing anything creepy to your sleeping form. You shuttered as you recalled the image of his fingers covered in your blood, wondering if it would even be a good idea to even remain in Kylo’s quarters since you knew he would be feeling you up in a more calm and controlled way than the Storm Troopers in the cells.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, finally removing his hand from your shoulder. You shrugged, stretching your arms above your head as you half closed your eyes. You felt like you got no rest at all, your body was aching and you could tell that you had bled far more than your tampon could hold. All of them put together created such an awful feeling, but staring up at Kylo’s attentive face somehow put you at ease.

“I don’t want you sleeping too late, it’s not good for you.” He said, it took you a minute but you finally realized that he was hinting toward the fact that he was aware you never took your tampon out. You took it upon yourself to smile at him, the strange, beautiful man that was still looking out for you.

“I’m really sorry, Kylo.” You said, feeling the guilt fading back into you from the mess you had made the previous night. He stepped away from the bed, casting you a confused look before speaking in reply to your apology. “What’s there to be sorry for?” He blurted out, you were left feeling embarrassed and slightly baffled by his harsh tone. “Ab-about last night?” You babbled, earning just a small giggle from him before he stepped all the way up to you. He took both of your cheeks in his hands and got close to your face, once again stirring up those crazy hormones of yours that attracted you to him. “You don’t have to be sorry, y/n.” He said, moving his thumbs over your flushed skin. “You think a little bit of your blood is going to scare me back into sending you to the cells?”

Even though it was difficult to admit it, he was right. All it was was blood, blood that most women, including Torellia, had to deal with on a monthly basis. Who were you kidding? He was the big, bad, murderous Kylo Ren. He probably had more blood on his hands than you had ever produced in your life. He had no reason to care for your normal body function, and neither should you. And even if he was upset he should have known it would have been coming eventually, he was keeping you locked up in here and he said he had no way of letting you go back to your home.

“Nobody is the least bit bothered, y/n. Now it would be wise of you to stop blushing at me and get ready for breakfast.” At the mention of your blush you felt your cheeks heat up even more, why did he always have to point it out? He let go of you and you immediately sprang out of bed, moving toward the bathroom where you would follow Kylo’s orders. You couldn’t possibly be falling for him, no not at all. The man had abused you when you first met him, he was dressing you up like his ex lover, keeping you in her room like you were supposed to be turning into her somehow. He was unwilling to try and send you back to your home and was basically holding you hostage, hiding you from the people around the base because he didn’t want people knowing Tori’s room was currently occupied. He molested you while you were asleep, did creepy things like feel and sniff your hair. Anybody who was on the outside looking in would know without a doubt that Kylo was not the most desirable person to grow an attraction to, in fact you were certain most people would have called the police on him at least once by now.

But your out of whack hormones couldn’t hide the fact that there was more to Kylo than you cared to admit. How long had it been since you were taken back to your cell? How long had it been since you ate that awful prison food? He promised you that if you were to get sent back to prison that at the very least he’d send you better food to eat because he didn’t want you starving yourself. He taught you a new skill, how to play chess, simply because he wanted you to learn something new. He talked to you, learned about your interest in cooking and got you a cook book so that you could sharpen your skills and so that you could teach him more about Earth’s culture. And when it came down to you being uncomfortable on your period, Kylo took care of you. What more could you possibly ask for while you were away from home, away from the few people that loved and cared from you?

You spat out your tooth paste, lifted the plastic cup filled with water to your teeth and rinsed all while thinking it was fine to just admire Kylo from afar, to appreciate the good he does for you but you could not ‘fall in love’ with him. It wasn’t right, and you forced your thoughts back to the bad in him. He was holding you hostage, sexually assaulting you while you slept. You should be wanting to be away from him, not trying to talk yourself out of lusting after him. You finished getting ready and tried not to think of the conflict that was brewing inside of you. Instead you hoped for a way back home where you could go about your daily, mundane life alone, not having to worry about having to choose between being felt up by guards in prison and being felt up by a murderer.

Once you were all dressed and ready to roll you headed out front where you found Kylo sitting at the table with two plates of scrambled eggs and sausage. He hadn’t started eating yet, but he had set everything up for you and was ready for you to sit down. You flashed him a shy smile before moving to the table and sitting down, picking up your fork and digging into your sausage. There was nothing different about your morning meal with Kylo, the two of you had small talk about life back on Earth and how much different it was here, but one thing you noticed was how he never once mentioned Tori. You kept the revelation to yourself, not even thinking about it until Kylo had packed all of the plates away and left you alone. It must have been some kind of milestone, you thought. Could you really have helped Kylo get over his severely depressing break up?

Was he wanting you instead of her, or was he still hoping you would simply become her? It was a worrying thought, but you were happy to know that Kylo was now starting to find himself again. You had grown to care for him just a bit since you first ended up in the Star Wars universe. At least just as much as he cared about you, he was a person after all, and people deserved to be happy.

While Kylo was at work you took your pain meds around the clock, every four hours just as the bottle suggested. You were still feeling like utter crap, but with the pain in your uterus dulled you felt like you could do so much more than you could last night. You had been bleeding for over 12 hours now, you felt like you had finally started to get used to the pain.

Sitting in bed that same evening you flipped through your cook book, wondering if you’d feel up to cooking a meal this evening. Tacos sounded good, but so did enchiladas, and lobster mac and cheese. You had a tough time deciding, wondering if going through the process of cooking those things would even be worth it. What if it came out bad and Kylo was upset with you? What if you enjoyed them but Kylo didn’t? You turned the page, coming to the realization that the First Order kitchen was likely always open and if dinner came out bad then he could just order what he wanted. As you were reading over the list of ingredients you’d need for each dish the door opened and in strutted Kylo, you looked over the top of your book as you greeted him happily.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked, you nodded your head, happy that he was still thinking about you and your state of being. “Good, I’m glad.” He said, you closed the book as you sat up, crossing your legs so that you could give him your full attention. “Are you feeling up to cooking for dinner or should I order something for us?” He asked quite gently. You shrugged at him, then brought up the three options you were considering. “I’m not really sure, they’re all quite messy and I’m not sure I’d be up to cleaning. What do you think?” You asked, wanting to know his input. In the end it would be up to him, you knew what all three dishes tasted like already and he didn’t. So you left it for him to decide, there was no wrong answer and you were up to enjoying any one of them.

“Are you only going to cook one?” He asked, you were puzzled by the question. Why did he think you were going to cook two dinners for one night? “Uh, yeah. Just one. I just can’t decide which.”

“Oh no, I understand that. I was just thinking I wanted to try this ‘cheesecake’ of yours. I was intrigued is all.” He said, sounding quite honest. He almost reminded you of a shy child asking a parent for something they know they weren’t supposed to have. He was quiet, sounded so sincere. It made you feel better to know that that’s what he wanted, for him to speak up instead of leaving you in the dark. “So if you’d like, you can cook dinner and cook dessert. Or if you’d like to cook just one I’d rather you make the cheesecake.”

“Oh, I see.” You said, smiling shyly at him once again. He was being considerate of you and your feelings, much nicer than some of the people you knew back at home were. “Well I’m up for that. I’ll make us some cheesecake for dessert if you’d like.” You started to open your book to the page about cheesecake to let Kylo know what you needed to make it when he cut you off. “Excellent.” He said, you looked up just in time to see the second biggest smile you had ever seen from him. For once the two of you agreed on something, it was a wonderful feeling.

 

Dinner came and went and soon you found yourself at the small stove in Tori’s room, several mixing bowls were strewn about with lots of ingredients all over the countertop. Kylo had ordered the things you needed to his room and as soon as the two of you got them set up in Tori’s kitchen you got to work. You already had the crust mixed up and pressed into the pan, now you were working on the cake portion and found you were missing something. You let out a frustrated growl, looking frantically through the pile of unused food he had gotten you realized you couldn’t find the bag of sugar.

“Kylo! Where is the sugar?” You called out. Such a thing wouldn't usually frustrate you so much, but on your period you were always so much more irritable than usual. “Where’s the what?” He said, leaning into Tori’s room from his. “The sugar, I need it to mix up the cake portion.” Kylo said nothing as he made his way into the room and into the kitchen while you were still going through the food. Maybe if you would have sorted through this stuff before cooking this wouldn’t be an issue.

“It’s right here.” He said, you could hear him coming up behind you. You stopped sorting in favor of just looking, feeling like an idiot that he found it so quickly from so far away. “Where?” You asked. “Right here, y/n.” Kylo answered, but he answered you with a little more than his words.

Without any warning whatsoever he pressed his body up against yours, his right hand coming to rest on your bare arm while his other hand pointing out the stark white bag of sugar that had literally been right in front of you. You knew Kylo was a big guy, but you also had never been this close to him before. With his chest pressed up against your back and his crotch pressed into your ass he felt huge, like a monument standing right behind you. Was he doing this on purpose, or was this just a regular thing for him?

Without saying another word you reached for it, Kylo’s other hand followed yours and his fingertips were running against your skin. He was so warm, so inviting, so sensual. Your second question was not about him, but about yourself. Why were you allowing him to do such a thing? “You got it?” He asked, letting his touch linger for that much longer on your clammy skin. You nodded your head, not sure if you wanted him to walk away or keep touching you. It felt good, the kind of interaction you wanted from him even though you knew it was wrong. But in the end, that’s probably why it was feeling so great, because it was wrong of you to feel this way about him.

“No, no you don’t.” He said, you could feel his hips start to move as he bent at his waist, bringing his face down behind your head. You could hear him breathing so clearly in your ear, could feel the lightest touch of his soft lips as they rested on your earlobe. This was it, now you knew he was doing this on purpose. He was teasing you, trying to get a reaction out of you from his nearly lewd actions. “The oven isn’t on.” He said, running the fingers of his right hand down your arm. “What is it supposed to be set at?” His hot breath cascaded from his mouth and down your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps breaking out over your skin.

“Th-three, uh, three fifty.” You stammered, feeling helpless as his right hand traveled further and further down your body. The stove, that would have been a wonderful thing to do before mixing up the ingredients, you should have set the stove. “Very good.” He said, taking his other hand and reaching for the stove, bending the both of you over the counter at the same time. This was wrong, this was dirty. This was the man that was holding you hostage, the man that was slowly turning you into his ex girlfriend that he had allegedly abused. You couldn’t be enjoying the feeling of his hardening cock grinding into your ass right now, or the fact that his hand was slowly slipping down your side to your thigh. This was bad, this was bad and you had to put an end to it.

You moved to get out of his grasp, but he wouldn’t let you go. As soon as his hand left the stove it came back to you, wrapping over your chest and locking you in place against him. “What’s the issue?” He breathed in your ear again, you were so turned on and you felt like you couldn’t help yourself. “You _want_ this. I know you do.” He purred, what the hell was this? You whimpered as his left hand dipped lower and lower, over your breast as he groped his way around. “Don’t try to hide it, y/n. Don’t be afraid to tell me what you need.”

“I _need_ …” You began, feeling utterly disgusted with him at that point. “You to stop touching me like that!” You shouted, making a violent movement until you had finally broken free of his arms. He was staring at you like he was shocked, unable to comprehend the fact that you didn’t want him touching you like that. “What’s the matter, y/n?” He asked, you crossed your arms over your chest as you thought of what to say to him next. “What’s the matter with you? I said I don’t want you touching me!”

“That’s not what your thoughts say to me, y/n. You blush every time you look at me, you love when I touch you, and you’re conflicted.” He said, raising his voice just a hair higher than usual. “It’s okay, y/n. It’s okay to feel this way. You’re confused, and I can help you” You shook your head at him, backed up until you hit the wall of the kitchen. “No, Kylo!” You shouted, angrily going through your earlier thoughts of the wrongdoings he had done to you. There was more than that though, something you had wanted to get off your chest ever since you had come to live in Tori’s room with him.

“Sure, I appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me, I really do. I think you can be really sweet and kind and caring, but one thing that’s bothered me since I’ve started to spend time with you is the fact that you want me to be _her_. You want me to be her so bad! And even though I enjoyed your touch and your words just now, it hurts me to know that you’re doing it, and you’re imagining her!” At that point your emotions took over, a lump grew in your throat as you went onto explain your true feelings, basically admitting that you wanted him to continue but felt as if you were being cheated, like none of his feelings belonged to you. They belonged to Torellia, and all you were doing was standing in for her while she was gone.

“Part of me thinks that if I stay here and you fall completely head over heels in love with me, it won’t be for me. You’ll still be in love with her and you won’t think anything of me. It hurts, Kylo, and I’m only just now realizing that after waking up with your hands down my pants.” You said, wiping one hurt tear from your hot cheeks. It was painful to whisper out the last part of your sentence, but you decided that if you wanted to move forward with Kylo, even just a fraction of an inch, you had to know. You had to know this honest answer, it would decide your fate and actions for the rest of the time you spent with him:

“Admit it, when you touch me, you think of her. Don’t you?”

You cut your eyes at him as you waited for a response, but you got none. Instead Kylo turned on his heel, walking slowly out of Tori’s room and leaving you and your uncontrolled emotions alone. You stared at the spot of the wall where he had been, not moving until you heard the door close behind him. You let go of your breath as you sunk down to the floor, feeling utterly defeated and worthless. Once again you were bawling into your arms, at a complete loss as to what to do. Here you were playing dress up for a man that lost his old girlfriend, unwillingly providing your body so that he could pretend he was touching her instead. You had never felt more hopeless, like there really wasn’t a way out.

And what was worse, you were beginning to love every second of his touch. You were beginning to fall for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have a fetish for Kylo Ren taking care of girls while they're on their period. Is there a word for that?


	11. Chapter 11

Picking yourself up off the cold, unforgiving kitchen tile you thought you knew for sure that Kylo would be sending you back to the cells. You thought sitting around and crying about it wouldn’t help, in fact you still had half of a cheesecake to bake. You figured there was no reason to allow the food to go bad just because you were being used. So that’s what you did, using the sugar that Kylo so kindly pointed out to you earlier you finished the filling of the cake and stuck it in the oven, stood there leaning against the kitchen counter angrily until it went off, then angrily paced back and forth while you waited for it to cool. It was such a shame that a lot of this cake would be wasted due to Kylo’s lewd treatment of you, and his inability to answer the question you posed to him.

While yes, it was true that you wanted him to continue touching him and you enjoyed the feeling of his large hands running over your body, you found it to be in such poor taste for him to be doing such things to do and thinking about Tori. You weren’t a rebound, you weren’t Tori, you were you. And to Kylo Ren, you were a prisoner. 

As upset as you were about his reaction to your question, you couldn’t help but to miss him. As you cut into the now cooling cheesecake you just couldn’t get his hot hands off of your mind. You blamed your hormones, although now your period had finally begun to slow down and seem a little more bearable, but it was still the hormones. It was the only logical explanation you could come up with, so you allowed your want for him to fester in your mind as you stabbed your cheesecake with a fork and took a huge bite. You imagined how funny you looked, eating and enjoying such delicious cheesecake with a frustrated scowl on your face but you didn’t care. To you, you had every right to be angry. You were half way finished with your second piece of cheesecake when the door opened, and you didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.

You stared down at your culinary creation while you felt him getting closer and closer to you. Your appetite seemed to vanish as he stopped right behind you, and you grew angrier and angrier the longer he stood there not saying anything. 

He broke the silence by finally saying your name, and you rolled your eyes as you let out a strained ‘yes?’ in reply. “It smells delicious in here.” He said, you could tell he was smiling at you, smiling like absolutely nothing had happened between the time he first started touching you and the time he had stormed out. “May I have a piece?” He asked, then you turned around and cast him a look of disgust. You were at a loss for words, really. It felt wrong of you to deny him something you had made in his kitchen with his food, but it was a labor of love, and even though you had uncontrollable feelings building inside of you toward him you felt like he didn’t deserve any of your love. Clearly he wanted Tori’s love, and you couldn’t provide him that.

So you didn’t say anything, and as he turned toward the kitchen and walked up to your cheesecake you couldn’t help but to feel offended. You heard him cut a piece, go into the silverware drawer and pull out a fork, and when you heard him coming back toward the table your heart skipped a beat. He started sitting down at the seat across from you, the seat that you normally sat in during meals, and you dropped your head into your hands. Your heart was aching, the feeling of being used was so hurtful. So many pitiful feelings from your childhood, being used as a pawn between your parents. Kylo wasn’t doing anything to help you in the moment, you wished he would just go away.

“Wow, this is delicious.” He said, you could tell that his mouth was full of cheesecake. “You are an excellent baker, I’m glad to have gotten you that book.” He praised you, but you still refused to look at him. If you weren’t afraid of being reprimanded you would have gotten up and locked yourself in the bathroom so you could be away from him, but you didn’t want him to hurt you or yell at you. Instead you sat there and listened to him chew, feeling mildly annoyed at the sounds coming from his mouth but there was nothing you could do about it.

Suddenly there was a cold feeling around your wrists, your hands were being pulled away from your face and the first thing you saw was Kylo looking as sincere as ever back at you. “You know, just because you’re upset with me doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the praise.” His words were soft and caring, what you had basically come to expect from him. You still had nothing to say, instead you looked back down to your cheesecake and tried not to think too much about him. At the first sight of his beautiful face you felt your skin heating up where his hands had once roamed, his large hands that had touched you in all the right places and turned you on so easily. It wasn’t as easy to think about how he ruined it all by all but confirming your suspicions. 

“Listen, y/n. “ He began, placing his fork down loudly on his plate. “I’m sorry that I overstepped my boundary, I should not have touched you like that without your permission.”  _ Yeah.  _ You thought to yourself.  _ No shit.  _

“I’m sorry that I keep bringing Tori up, clearly it hasn’t been that helpful in your transition to Star Killer, and I’m sorry that I can’t send you back to your home.” He continued to apologize to you, but you were stuck on the way he said ‘transition.’ You hated to think that you were really stuck here, but he was speaking as if he had plans on keeping you here and not even trying to send you back to Earth. “But I’ve thought about what you said, and you were right. It was wrong of me to do such things to you when I was, indeed thinking about Tori. And I thought about it a lot while we spent some time apart.” He said, finally pulling his eyes away from you and using his fork to slice a piece of his cake again and sticking it in his mouth. At least this time around he was respectful enough to not speak to you while he was chewing. 

“I understand that I’ve upset you, and I’m sure I’m the last person you want to be sitting with right now, but I have something I need to tell you.” With that, his eyes found yours again and your interest immediately sparked. What could he possibly be wanting to tell you after what happened? Surely he couldn’t love you, you certainly didn’t love him. Was he telling you that Tori was coming back, or that you would be going back home? 

“I don’t want to startle you, I want to tell you when you’re ready. It’s important, and it’s going to change the fate of your stay here on the base.” He said, sticking another piece of cheesecake in his mouth. “Why can’t you just tell me now?” You asked, thinking it couldn’t be that bad. You were already stuck here, and he had finally verbally admitted that he is still stuck on Torellia. You didn’t think your life could get any more complicated or dramatic than this: Stuck in the Star Wars universe against your will, living with a masked murderer who scared his ex girlfriend away, and then lusting after you all while pretending you were that same ex. It was a mess, and the fact that he had something else to say to you made you even more nervous. 

“Because, you’re still upset. I want you to be completely neutral and relaxed before I tell you.” You blinked as you stared up at him, that was fair. If it was something that was going to completely rock your world it would probably be a good idea for you to be completely calm beforehand. He stood from the table, taking his finished plate of cheese cake with him to the kitchen where he dropped it in the sink. “So rest, relax for a while. When you’re ready you may come into my room and we can talk.” He said, and at his smile you realized a little too late that you had started to blush at him once again. You turned back toward your own cheesecake in a weak attempt to hide the roses in your cheeks, but you were sure he noticed. It was a futile attempt to hide your own feelings from him, feelings that you knew he was aware of. He didn’t say anything else, just simply walked past you to the door where he quickly disappeared. You were alone with your half eaten slice of cheesecake, cramps in your uterus and nervousness bubbling around in your stomach. You could have never predicted that your fun, lighthearted evening where you were to bake with the man you were beginning to fall for.

 

You took Kylo’s suggestion, and for the rest of the evening you tried to relax. You took some medication to dull the various aches and pains that existed in your body, freshened up in the bathtub and then changed into your pajamas before curling up on your couch with the movie Moana. You let the movie play in the background while you tried to decide when you would go visit Ren. Did you even want to go see him tonight at all? You shivered, play with the hem of your sleeping shirt while you fought with yourself in your mind. Maybe it was best to just get it over with. Whatever he wanted to tell you was going to upset you, you might as well get the bad news out of the way so you could mourn in the silence of your own bed while you could. 

You had plastered a look of bravery on your face as you stood, and as confidently as you could you strode over to the door that separated Tori’s room from Kylo’s. It had dawned on you that you had never been in there before. This would be the first time you were seeing Kylo’s home, and you weren’t completely sure you were ready. What kinds of things would the Commander have around his home? You imagined he would have photos of Tori everywhere, and as you knocked you panicked that you’d see so many photos of her that it would be unhealthy. There was no going back now, you had already knocked and you could hear Kylo making his way to the door. 

He answered the door, but he looked anything but happy to see you. “You didn’t have to knock, you know.” He said, stepping aside and holding the door open for you. “Just let yourself in whenever you’d like, it’s alright with me.” You smiled and nodded as you took the first few steps into his rooms, and immediately you noticed something that took you by complete surprise.

There was a desk in the corner with a full sized computer set up on it. Next to the computer was a small bowl filled with a handful of lit sticks of incense. They were giving off a lavender scent that relaxed you as you waltzed further and further into your room, and once you were standing right in the middle you realized that this was his bedroom. A large bed sat up against the wall and the only light that was illuminating the room was coming from the bathroom off to the left. “Welcome.” Kylo said, stepping around you and up to the desk that you had been admiring. “Make yourself at home. Wine?” He asked, offering you an empty glass as well as holding up a bottle of white wine that he had clearly already been drinking out of. 

“Maybe just a little.” You said, thinking that whatever this news would be would probably be painful, and the alcohol would likely numb the emotional pain you’d feel. He nodded, then proceeded to fill your glass half full with wine and hand it to you. “How are you feeling?” He asked, and you told him that you were feeling the best you would be for a while. You just wished he would get on with it, whatever he was going to say. “Well, that’s good. Have a seat.” He said, pointing to the bed. You were nervous, wondering why this conversation wasn’t taking place over a table, or in a lounge or something like that. Why did it need to take place with you sitting on his bed? You took a cautious look over to the open door back to your room, knowing that if things got a little too uncomfortable for your liking you could at least dash back to there and block the door to keep him from coming in. You did as he said, and he watched you sink all the way down before turning back to the wine and pouring himself another glass.

“I know you know how much I loved Torellia.” He said with his back turned toward you, and you knew something was off based on the past tense version if the word ‘love’ he used. “But, if there’s one valuable lesson you’ve taught me in the past few days we’ve known each other, it’s that moving on is tough.”  _ Oh god.  _ You already didn’t like where this conversation was going. 

“I know you know about what I was trying to do to you at first. Manipulating you into being her; teaching you her favorite game, having your hair done up like hers, dressing you up in her clothes. Gaslighting, that’s what you call it on Earth, right?” 

“Yeah, I think that’s what that means.” You said, then he turned around to face you. He had such an uncertain look on his face, you knew it hurt him to be admitting this out loud. “And I know what I did to you in your sleep was wrong, touching you, admiring you, but you looked, felt, and smelled so much like Tori in her own bed.” As he went onto explain his infatuation with you, even going into detail about how you had smelled like her, your skin broke out in goosebumps and you could feel a terrifying pit growing in your stomach. Hearing him admit what he did to you while you were sleeping was quite possibly worse than experiencing first hand. 

“It was disgusting, and I should never have done it while you were asleep, under the guise that somehow you would become Tori in my mind, because that’s not what happened at all. Instead, watching you adjust and learn about your new environment, and seeing you interact with me, I felt something new.” His face still held its rock hard demeanor, and you were left to wonder just what he was talking about. Two days. You had only spent the last two days in Tori’s room. Was he really about to admit to you that he had feelings for you after two days? You could feel yourself shaking as you thought about how terrifying that was, but then had another startling realization.

Hadn’t you also began to think the same thing? 

“Yes, I am aware that two days is a very short amount of time. But the truth is I’ve had an interest in you since I first laid eyes on you. I’ll never forget, thinking you were Tori and then turning around and finding an innocent looking girl in mermaid pajamas. I was hurt in the beginning, to know that you destroyed the book and the woman that Ioved would never be able to come back. But then there was you, a terrified, clueless woman who was being treated so vilely down in the prisons by no fault of your own. I didn’t know how to feel, to walk by your cell every night and see you rapidly losing weight and to see the life fading from your face. I felt like it was my fault, and I had to do something to stop it.

“So my plan was to bring you and keep you in Tori’s room. Like I’ve said before I wanted you to essentially live as her, to try and fill my empty heart somehow. But instead, not only did you fill my heart, you’ve introduced me to an entirely new type of person. You see, you may not be Torellia, but you represent a version of Torellia that I so desperately wanted to experience. Who you are is so special to me, because you’re the one I fell in love with through her.” You could nothing but blink as you watched him take a swing of his wine, sipping until it was all gone. Did he really mean it? And if he did, what the hell did he mean by he fell in love with you through Tori? That made no sense, he didn’t even know who you were before this mix up happened. You took a sip of your wine too, the second during his entire explanation. This was just as painful and creepy as you thought it was going to be, in fact you took a third swing trying to make sense of what he was saying.

“The more you taught me about your first hand experiences on Earth, the more my appreciation about Earth grew, and the more Tori began to shrink in my eyes. My fascination with you expanded, and when I first felt the raw feelings you had for me yesterday I knew that I was onto something. I knew I wasn’t the only one who had feelings, between you and I.”

“Oh, no Kylo.” You said, fake laughing to try and make light of this awful situation. “I wasn’t, I didn’t actually--” 

“Did you forget that you’re being held here by a Force user?” He but in, taking another sip of his wine. Yours was already almost gone, and you were starting to wonder if the unreal high you were feeling was due to the adrenaline or your one half of a glass of wine. “I would see you blush and could feel your adoration from me, and that’s when I decided to confront my own feelings as well. That’s when I decided to touch you in the kitchen.” 

Well, he sure wasn’t lying. You had been conflicted about him after he had taken such good care of you on your period. He had started letting you have some more autonomy, had stopped treating you like Tori and let you do your own Earthly thing. He had seemed to take an interest in your life--your old life. You had blamed it all on your period hormones, but the fact that you enjoyed his touches said otherwise. It was even heart warming to hear that he cared about you, even just a little. It made you feel wanted in some sick, sort of way. It even made you wonder if living here with him was all that bad. 

“I, I know that you’re scared, y/n. I know that you’re lost and you’re confused, and I know that all of this may be too much all at once. I’m sorry, if this confession is too much, but I just wanted to tell you that I do have feelings for you.” At his admission of admiration for you, you felt your heart come to a standstill in your chest as well as your flesh break out in a cold sweat. “No, I don’t love you like you think I do, and I certainly don’t expect you to feel the same way, or even to verbally admit your feelings toward me. I just thought, after everything that’s happened between us and for as long as you decide you want to live in that room with me, you should know how I feel about you.”

You took a nervous, shocked glance down at your empty wine glass.  _ Wow. _ That conversation had gone so much better than you expected. No, he didn’t love you, but he admired you just as you did to him--and that was okay. “More wine?” He asked, and you were so stunned that all you could do was nod your head. He returned to you with the bottle in his hand, ready to pour you some more but instead you grasped the entire bottle from him, bringing the opening to your lips and downing nearly a quarter of the bottle in one swing. Kylo did nothing but stare at you while you drank all of his wine, but you felt like you had nothing else to do, and you needed the small boost of alcohol in order to gain the confidence to reply to him.

“I, I don’t really know to feel. About you, or about anything, really.” You said, with a small hiccup. The wine was just now starting to hit you, it had been so long since you had drank so much alcohol that you forgot that you were such a lightweight. “I was afraid of you at first, but you started to, I don’t know. Change?” You said, smiling only slightly. “And even though I was disgusted by the thought of you coming into the room and touching me while I was sleeping, I couldn’t help but to feel kinda honored.” You started laughing out loud about how stupid you sounded, nothing was funny about being touched by someone in your sleep, but now that you were drunk and explaining it to someone you shared mutual feelings with, it was hilarious.

“You’re a handsome guy, I even thought that when you were abusing me in the very beginning. And now that I’ve seen the raw side of you, the part that actually cares about me, my feelings have become kinda mutual. I think, you know? I think that you could actually make a really good partner, as long as you treat me right.” You knew that sober you would have never said such a thing to him, but this is why you drank the alcohol. “As long as the creepy shit stops, no more smelling my hair, no more touching me in my sleep, no more, like, comparing me to Tori or whatever.”

You watched as Kylo took another swing of his own wine, you hadn’t seen him drink as much and this was probably why. “I think I can stand staying here with you, and sharing these feelings with you positively as long as you don’t do any more of things.” Kylo nodded his head and took another step toward you, reaching out for the bottle in your hand. You handed it to him, but as you did he grasped your wrist and pulled you up toward your feet in front of him. You felt yourself blushing as one of his arms went around your waist and the other went to your chin, tilting your head up toward him. 

“There you go.” He said, the smile on his face was so soft and cute. “With your adorable blushing every time you think of me.” You giggled at him, the feeling of your body pressed up against his on such great terms nearly did you in. You were a little too drunk to notice, but his head was coming in closer to yours. Even though your vision was a little hazy you could tell that he had some delicious looking lips that you had never actually noticed before. So pink, so soft, so beautiful. You almost wanted to reach up and run your fingers on them. 

“If I tell you that I want this from you, not from Tori, not from anyone else, would you let me kiss you?” He asked, and the innocent and genuine question struck the sexiest chord inside of you. You nodded your head, knowing that it wouldn’t take too long for him to kiss you and make everything the two of you had talked about a reality.

His lips rested on yours and they were just as soft as you thought they were. It seemed like the world around the two of you came to a standstill as the kiss deepened. You could hear the smacking, the wet noises as your lips collided with each other, but that was it. Your hands wrapped around Kylo’s torso, and the longer the two of you shared a kiss the further they traveled up his back and around the exposed skin of his neck. His hand moved from your face down to your ass where he held the lower half of your body even closer to his, he had been wanting this, wanting this and waiting not so patiently. 

He moved you toward the bed where the two of you fell backward onto his comfortable mattress. Both of his hands moved to the sides of your head as he held himself up above you, trying not to crush you with his massive body weight. You brought your legs up around his waist, trying to get as much contact between the two of you as possible. You were so turned on, you wanted him so bad in your drunken state. And you knew it was wrong. You had spent so much time convincing yourself that you didn’t want him, that you couldn’t have him, but here you were, grinding up against him in his own bed, drunk off your ass underneath of him like you didn’t have a care in the world. Your evening was going so well, then it tanked horribly, and not it was coming to a steaming hot end that you never in a million years could have predicted. You and Kylo had admitted to each other that there were feelings that existed between the two of you, and your introduction to these feelings were probably the most harmonious sensation you had ever felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Finally some positive interactions betweek Kylo and Reader!


	12. Chapter 12

Words were exchanged that you knew you wouldn’t remember in the morning, and if you were being honest with yourself you were so drunk you probably wouldn’t want to remember them later. Your confession of interest in him was genuine, but the situation you had now found yourself in was indicative of you having said something else to Kylo.

You sat with your legs dangling off the side of his bed, your feet weren’t quite touching the floor but that was alright; Kylo was tall and you were sure he would have needed a modified bed for his height. He was missing his shirt and his pants, standing in front of you in nothing but his dark blue underwear. Perhaps the most outlandish thing you could remember was that he was holding his cock right in front of your nose, stroking it and stirring up all kinds of wrong emotions inside of your drunken mind. You could clearly remember the aroma, he smelled just like any other man you had been with and the musky scent intoxicated you. He was so long, so big, the kind of cock you had always dreamed about. It came as no surprise to you, really. Like your earlier observation, he was huge. He had long arms and long legs, it was only natural that what existed below his belt followed suit. 

You licked your lips as you leaned in, eyeing the reddened head of his cock as it wept for you. You had never been this turned on in your life, and it showed since it was one of the only things you could remember. His precum beaded out of the tip of his cock, then oozed down on your now bare legs. You couldn’t remember when or why you had taken your pants off, but that was alright. The only thing you were certain of was you were going to go down on him tonight, had you not been on your period you would have loved to fuck him. But you couldn’t, so your mouth would have to do.

“You’re drunk, I don’t know if this is a good idea.” Kylo spoke again, you had to ask him to repeat himself due to your intoxication. “Of course it is.” You answered, reaching for his erection only to have him push your hands away. “Are you sure?” He asked you, and you nodded your head yes. He eyed you for a moment, seemingly unsure if he wanted to allow you to suck him or not. “Pleeease?” You begged, pushing past his hand and wrapping your hand around the curve of his manhood. He was so rigid, so hard, and so warm. It was almost as if you were dreaming, none of it felt real to you. You could feel yourself growing wet, your cunt pulsating as you imagined what it would be like inside of you, dragging along your walls as he fucked you in his bed. You cursed your own body for betraying you, your period was a blessing one moment and a curse the next. 

There was another moment of silence as he simply watched you jerking him, as if he were just as conflicted as you probably should have been on the matter. But eventually he caved, sensually telling you to ‘have a taste’ as he leaned forward. With his cock still in your hand all you had to do was open your mouth and scoot forward just an inch before the telltale salty and delicious taste of precum had invaded your tongue. His head of his cock felt like smooth butter as you ran your tongue over and around it, and just for good measure you gave his hole a good lick to coax even more of his fluids out for you. 

The action earned a moan from him and you knew that what you were doing was perfect. You found yourself executing a natural rhythm moving your head up and down his shaft, trying to commit every inch to your memory because you knew it wouldn’t last forever. Every vein, every bump, and every smooth section of skin, you wanted it all and you wanted it all to yourself. His moans grew louder and deeper, you could feel his fingers tangle themselves in your hair before he was pulling himself out of your mouth, taking ahold of his wet cock and fisting himself in front of your face. 

It was all a blur, you could only remember hearing yourself saying ‘anywhere’ before sticky strands of white cum began seeping from his cock, the first few coming out so forcefully that they soared through the air and landed on your chest, dripping down under your shirt while the rest of his seed simply dripped from him to your bare legs. This had been your first sexual encounter in months, and you were almost disappointed that you were drunk and you wouldn’t remember all of it. 

After everything was said and done Kylo walked away from you, retrieving the shirt he had worn earlier that evening and using it to wipe the cum off of your chest and legs, then without asking reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. Your upper torso was exposed, and when the cold air hit you both you and Kylo had realized he had failed to wipe up a dribble of his seed. “...want you sleeping...cum stained shirt.” Was all you could make out while you were concentrating on his softening cock that he had still not put away. You watched as he disappeared into his closet and came back with a clean white shirt for you. 

You fumbled with it for a few seconds before Kylo took it from your hands and draped it over your head, assisting you in dressing like you were a child until you were certain everything on you was perfect. Your underwear hadn’t moved and the large shirt you were wearing was comfortable, you were ready for another drink.

“Do you want to go back to your room?” He asked, leaning in close to your face so you could understand him just a little more clearly. “No.” You said, falling back into his bed and spreading your arms and legs out like a starfish. “I wanna stay here, with you.” You looked up through your blurred vision, the only thing you could make out was him shaking his head at you. Some more words were exchanged before he was pulling you up by your hand and pointing you toward his bathroom, probably to take care of your period before bed. 

That was the last thing you could recall from that night, before waking up in Kylo’s bed with a pounding headache and body aches everywhere. You struggled to open your eyes, and when you finally did the light of the sun increased the intensity of your headache tenfold. You covered your eyes with your arm, and as you did you accidentally elbowed Kylo in the back. 

You had momentarily forgotten about everything that had happened last night, and even though you felt like you had died and gone straight to hell you managed to turn over on your side. You smiled as you laid your eyes on Kylo’s enormous back, studying his defined muscles and the beauty marks that were peppered all over his skin. Thoughts of last night’s sexual encounter, or what you could remember of it flooded your mind. It was only slightly embarrassing, you were a happy drunk and often did things that you weren’t proud of, but at the same time it felt like such an accomplishment for two people who had just started an intimate relationship-- if it could even be called that. It really didn’t matter to you, the deed had already been done and the two of you had enjoyed yourselves. Maybe once your period ended you’d be open to getting drunk and having some more fun with Kylo.

You couldn’t find it within yourself to tear your eyes from his back, but your appreciation slowly turned into concern once you looked a little closer and saw some whitening scars that laced in his skin. The more your eyes roamed, the more you saw. One particular scar was long, jagged, and deep. It looked as if he had been burned by his own lightsaber somehow. You couldn’t hold back, from under the blanket you stretched your arm out and ran the pads of your first two fingers along it. A chill went down your skin, you had known Kylo was a killer, but this scar was just more definitive proof that he was a dangerous man that got himself into dangerous situations. 

You frowned, once again feeling dread creeping up on you as you realized the Star Wars universe was real and you were smack dab in the middle of it, tethered to the leader of a murderous organization. How many hits would Kylo have on him at once? How many had been acted upon and how many more would be acted upon with you in such close proximity? It was a scary thought, and one that you didn’t get to think of for very long before Kylo began to stir under the light blanket that was draped over his body. You brought your hand back cautiously as he stretched his arms over his head, flexing the muscles in his arms for you because he had to know that it turned you on. He just had to with all that mind reading he did.

You couldn’t look away, even as he turned onto his back and moved his face to yours. You sat there and smiled at him, a sexy aura appearing around him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He was still shirtless, you had no idea what was going on underneath his blanket but a part of you wished him to be fully naked. Not like you and him could get it on anyway, your period was lighter but had not fully stopped yet. That was alright, you were patient enough to wait until the time was right, you and Ren were still new at this and it wouldn’t be good to take things too quickly. 

Without saying anything to you Ren sat up, swung his legs over the bed and revealed that he was in the same underwear from the previous night. You watched him stand and walk toward the bathroom, not even bothering to look at you. Your heart sank as you realized that he was drunk last night too, and he might have regretted the time he had spent with you. As the door closed you realized you may have overstepped your boundary with him last night, had jumped the gun when you probably should have just left it at kissing.

You stood sadly to your feet, happy to see that you had not bled in his bed like you did in yours the previous night, and casting one last look at the messy bed you quietly moved to the door next to his bed. After opening it and stepping into the dining area of what you had decided to now call your personal quarters, you felt so alone. You had gotten so much closer to Kylo in the last 12 hours, and you felt like you had gone and blown all of it. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you moved into the kitchen to grab a handful of berries that Kylo had gotten you for the cheesecake for breakfast, you hated to feel so lonely, but really this is how it had always been. You had always been alone, it wasn’t anything new and it shouldn’t have been making you feel so upset. He was just a man, a man who was at fault for your current situation and being so far from home. You didn’t need his physical affection, or at least that’s what you tried to tell yourself as you pulled the carton of berries out of the fridge.

You popped a blackberry in your mouth, trying desperately to push the thoughts of him and his cock from your mind when there was a knock at the door. You lifted your eyes just in time to see Kylo letting himself in, this time dressed in some loose sleeping shorts. “Ah, there you are.” He said, a thankful smile blooming on his face. You stood up straighter as you took a step toward him, realizing that you had over thought everything once again. “I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face and when I came back you were gone.” He explained, pushing his hands into his pockets and leaning against the door frame.

A stupid smile spread across your face as your fears faded from your shoulders, beyond relieved that you would not be finding yourself back in the cells for giving the Commander of the First Order a blow job. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You said, letting out an involuntary giggle. “I thought, I don’t know I thought you were upset at me.” 

“No, dear.” He said, motioning with his head for you to follow him back into his room. You got giddy as you thought you’d get to repeat your actions from the previous night, dropping the carton of berries onto the counter to hurried over him, past his huge body and into his bedroom once again. “I didn’t want to eat breakfast with you with morning breath.” He said, chuckling at you. You got to his desk where you found the almost empty bottle of wine you had drunk last night, then turned back to him to see what he wanted. “Head toward my bedroom door.” He said, closing the other door behind him and walking toward you. “We’re eating breakfast in my kitchen this morning.” You grinned happily, excited for this new adventure. If Ren had taken you to the different parts of his home last night then you certainly were too drunk to remember. 

You waited for him to catch up to you and then politely stepped around him so that he could lead the way. Upon opening the door you were met with a short hallway that lead up to a very sunny and large living area. Walking out you were amazed, all of his walls were essentially made of glass, giant windows that gave you a magnificent view of the snowy landscape that the base was built out of. The sun was fully out, reflecting on the settled white snow that sat right outside of his quarters. You stepped a bit closer to it, past Kylo so you could get a better look. It was  _ breathtaking _ . You had never seen anything like this before, living areas like this were usually meant for the more affluent people, not you in your small one bedroom apartment.

“They’re also simulated.” He said, waving his hand through the air. Before your very eyes every single screen went grey momentarily before displaying a large field, the sun shining brightly overhead. You could see little critters running back and forth in the background, small white rabbits and a family a dear as if you were actually sitting in a house that was in the middle of a field. What really took you back was the imitated feeling of sunshine on your face as you stood in front of the screen. “It can do storms, snow, sunshine, just about any kind of weather you could imagine.” He said, and you immediately got excited. “Can it do fall time?” You asked, turning toward him. “Like, with falling leaves and stuff?” He smiled at you before waving his hand in front of the windows once more, and soon before you knew it you were face to face with a field full of vibrant red, orange, and yellow leaves. Trees stood around swaying in the wind as leaves fell from them, and up against the closest tree sat a carved jack o'lantern. 

“I got these put in for Tori. She said this scene needed a carved pumpkin for some reason, but she never explained why.” Even though you thought you had cleared everything up with Kylo about not talking about Tori, you hardly cared. You felt like you were back home looking out at the beautiful landscape that sat in front of you, your favorite season and all. “And then at night it lights up. She said that was very important."

“It is, trust me.” You said, tearing your eyes away from the screen and looking back to Kylo. “What’s it for?” He asked. “Halloween, it’s a holiday that takes place on the last day of October.” You said. Kylo hummed, then pointed you toward a small dining area, about the same size as yours that was in Tori’s room but in a more enclosed area. “Have a seat at the dining table.” He said, pushing you toward the table while also asking you to tell him more.

“Oh Halloween some people dress up and go door to door to get candy, mostly kids but teenagers and adults do too sometimes. There’s lots of stuff you can do around that time too, corn mazes, hayrides, and pumpkin carving to name a few. It’s a lot of fun!” 

“It sounds interesting. We don’t have anything like that here, unfortunately.” He said, pulling out his datapad and beginning to swipe and tap away, likely ordering your breakfast. “I doubt people around here would be up to celebrating such a thing.” You said, commenting on everything you had seen first hand and read about in the Ben Solo book. 

“She did tell me about one holiday that happens in the winter time. Where gifts were exchanged while people spent time with their families.”

“Christmas!” You shouted, your second favorite time of the year. “Yes, that’s it.” He said, dropping his tablet gently onto the table and smiling at you. “It was the one Earthly holiday she and I celebrated together. We’d get each other gifts and wrap them up, then open them. I could never get her a Christmas tree like she wanted though, it was always too much work and I was always far too busy.” You shrugged, telling him that it was alright. “Not everyone celebrates those holidays anyway, I never really had anyone to celebrate with.”

“Why is that?” He asked. “Cause my family.” You said, dwelling on the bad memories that existed before your accidental kidnapping. “I’m a child of divorce, and my Christmases were split between my mother and stepfathers house and my real dad's house. But after I turned like, eight or so my mother took custody away from my father and I never got to see him again.” You looked out the projected windows, recalling the awful night you found out you’d never see your father ever again, just because your selfish mother wanted to hurt him. You wanted to cry, but realized that would do nothing to help the situation at all.

“Did he cheat on her?” Kylo blurted out all of the sudden, coming out of left field and catching you quite off guard. “What?” You asked, that was such a personal question to be asking someone you had only known for so long. “Your father.” Kylo clarified, did he take on another woman while they were married?”

“Oh, no.” You said with a heavy sigh. “It was the other way around actually. My dad caught my mom cheating on him with my stepdad. They blamed me, that’s why my stepdad hated me so much.” You said, the images of you excitedly leading your father to your mother’s bedroom to show off your mother’s new bed, opening the door and finding your mother and her ‘friend’ that always came to visit when your father wasn’t home humping each other under the blankets. It hurt so much, how everyone was yelling and how you got caught up in the middle. Your eyes watered, your life had never been the same after that.

Suddenly Kylo was reaching out for you, wrapping his large hand around yours and rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. “It’s okay, y/n.” He said softly. You looked up and saw him looking lovingly over at you, and in that moment you realized you shared a deeper connection with him. This relationship was more than just a drunken frisk of oral sex, more than just someone you were falling for because you were forced into spending so much time with him. This was something real, a real bonding moment between two people that truly did care for each other, and it was a feeling of comfort over your childhood that you had never found in anyone else before. You flipped your hand over and manipulated your fingers so that you were holding onto Kylo’s hand, wishing you could just climb into his lap and mourn your losses.

“I understand your pain.” He said to you quietly. You closed your eyes and imagined his childhood. Ben Solo, a small boy whose family was ripped apart just like yours was. There was one bit of confusion you had though, and that was you didn’t remember reading anything about Han and or Leia cheating on one another. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I've been waiting to get this fic rolling for such a long time! I'm so happy it's finally starting to come together.  
> Also, for those of you who have read my Teach me Trilogy, I'm happy to announce that art work is being drawn for it! I can't wait to share it with you.


	13. Chapter 13

Days went by and soon your period slowed and stopped completely. You felt the freedom to sit how you wanted to, to sleep how you wanted to without worrying about leaking or if Kylo could smell you or not. It was great, and what was even greater was the day Kylo come home from work and invited you into his home for dinner as usual. 

On his dining room table was a form, and upon closer inspection you found it was a medical form for an order of birth control. You laughed as you took the paper in your hands, noting that you had several options to choose from. You could either get the pill, the shot every three months just like at home, or you could get several different types implants. You had heard from many female friends that the implant in your arm wasn’t too bad, but the implant that they insert through your cervix was not fun at all. Just as the food was coming in Ren handed you a pen and asked you to choose one and he’d send it off to the medical center at once. You checked off the shot option and handed it back to him, thanking him for being so thoughtful as you just recently known him to be. Then it was dinner as normal.

What was not normal, however, was the moment he pulled you back into him when you made your move toward the door. “Just where do you think you’re going?” Kylo said, pulling you back into his bedroom. “To bed, I guess.” You replied, not quite catching onto what he was wanting until it was a little too late. “Have a seat on the bed.” Kylo said as he raised his arm out to it, you took a look over and remembered how comfortable it was, how it felt like you were sleeping on air and you didn’t hesitate to follow his instruction. 

You watched as he removed his shirt, suddenly remembering your drunken night with him a few nights ago and thinking you’d be able to recreate that event. You were ready, your mouth was already watering at the thought of being able to wrap your lips around his cock once again. He stepped up to you with a smug, proud look on his face. You knew he was listening to your thoughts and you knew he was satisfied with your willingness to have sex with him again, it was amazing to think you two had grown so comfortable with one another over the course of a few weeks, that you were now excited at the thought of him touching you just as he had in your sleep not that long ago. You knew part of it was the fact that you were likely never going to leave, to be able to have your pick of men again since you were stuck here with him. It wasn’t a good feeling, especially since Kylo hadn’t offered to show you around your new home at all you felt like you had no other option but to make the most out of living in Tori’s old living space--which involved fantasizing often about Kylo Ren and his cock after that fateful night.

“Is that what you want?” He asked, but you weren’t paying any attention to his face. You nodded your head, staring at the growing bulge in his pants and assuming he was talking about another sexual encounter with him. Suddenly his hands were at your jaw, forcing you to look at him and his very unamused look. “No, not this.” He said, running his hand down the front of his pants before undoing his belt and pulling his zipper down. “Going out. You want me to take you around the base?” He’s holding your head up but your eyes travel downward, down to his unhooked belt and to the small piece of fabric of his grey underwear that was visible. “Uh, yeah?” You say, fully aware of the fact that you sound completely unsure. He chuckles at you, releasing your jaw in favor of tugging on the bottom of your shirt. It’s the only push you need to remove it and expose yourself to him. Wearing a bra hadn’t been a thing for a while now, not since you and Ren had gotten so comfortable with each other.  

He lifted his hand and pushed on your shoulder, down onto your back against the pillows of the bed. “I’ll do far better than that.” He growled, and before you could even blink his fingers are curling in the waistband of your pajama pants and they’re down around your ankles. You let out a yelp, now sitting there under him in nothing but Tori’s white underwear. The man looked wild, looking you in the eyes as both of his hands came up to your breasts. The utmost serious look on his face made you laugh, wasn’t this supposed to be about having fun and enjoying yourselves? Why was he looking like he was about to conduct an expensive business deal?

Ren brings his mouth down to your neck and kisses you sensually, your hands rest on the muscles in his back and you find you can’t repress the moan that escapes your throat. His kisses deepen and soon you feel the unmistakable pressure of bruises being sucked into your skin. Hickies, you felt like people on Earth underestimated how much of a turn on hickies were.

But not here, not in Kylo’s universe. Because He didn’t stop, moving to new, unmarked sections of your neck and sucking harder and harder each time. Once he stopped, lifted his head and looked down at you, you couldn’t help but to smile at him. Your neck was sore, sore in a way that made you beg him for even more. 

“More?” He asked. “Please.” You pleaded. And with a slick smile he once again brought his head down to the center of your chest, gently caressing your nipples with his thumbs while his mouth went to work on every part of your body imaginable. Your body was singing with pleasure under his lips and you shamelessly rocked your hips into his and were overjoyed when you felt his erection pressing up against your underwear. “Kylo?” You asked, unable to find the words to convey your need. 

“Yes?” He asked, leaving your body exposed to the cold air without his lips. You flexed your hips into his one more time, letting him know that you were ready with a silly smile on your face. “You need  _ more? _ ” He asked, leaning down and placing two twin kisses on both of your nipples. The sexual sensation shot right through you and into your sex, stirring up all kinds of pleasure within you. “You needy little thing.” He chided, sticking his tongue out and running it lightly over your left nipple. It pebbled under his tongue and you bit down on your lip as the action continued, faster and faster before he began flicking his tongue over it and leaving you wanting even more from him.

“Kylo, please!” You begged, you could feel your underwear had grown so damp just by his foreplay alone, and you didn’t know how much more you could take before you ended up cumming without even seeing his cock, and you definitely did not want that to happen. “Please what?” He asked, his hot breath on your wet nipples sent even more ripples of pleasure through you, it was hard to hold on but you knew what he wanted. You knew he was going to make you say it, he wasn’t going to hold your hand about the matter and he wasn’t going to do anything without your permission. You shivered as he sat up one more time, your eyes glued to his body as he sat up, his knees on either side of your hips now. His hand went down to the exposed waistband of his underwear and he began pulling them down torturously slow. 

“You want it?” He asked, and you felt as if your smile could have broken your face as you happily nodded. “Say it then.” He retorted, this time allowing his cock to spring free from his pants in all of its glory. 

It was so wonderful to be able to see it without being drunk this time. To see how truly big it was as it sat in his hand, to clearly see it as it swelled with blood and seeped precum. Your mouth watered just at the sight, and you spread your legs as best as you could, still unwilling to verbalize how badly you wanted him. “Don’t be shy,” Kylo once again chastised you as he began to rub himself, pushing blood into the head of his cock and staring down patiently at you. “You can sit there and blush all night long, y/n. But it won’t get you what I know you need.” He warned, and this time you knew you couldn’t hold it off any longer. 

“Please Kylo…” You whimpered, lifting your hands up to try and feel even just the smallest part of his cock. You wanted to feel the warm, wet bead of precum that was threatening to fall onto you, the silky smooth head of his cock, or to run your fingers over the light blue veins that bulge out of the sides. You would get none of it though, if you didn’t open your mouth and tell him what you wanted. 

“Fuck me.” You said, and within the blink of an eye Kylo had scooted down the length of your body, took ahold of your underwear and was pulling them down your legs. Before you got the chance to make note of the fact that you were now completely nude and he was not, he had taken the time to slide off of your body and onto the floor, dropping his pants and underwear to his ankles and stepping out of them before sinking to his knees in between yours and lowering his face to your cunt.

You looked up at him puzzled, you asked him to fuck you not eat you. “Don’t you remember what I told you the other night?” He asked, picking your knees up and throwing them over his shoulders. You stared at him blankly, trying your best to recall what he had told you but, try as you might, it just wouldn’t come to you. He smiled as he lifted your hips up to his face, leaning his head down and placing a kiss on your aching clit and laving it just a tad. “When you were done sucking my cock I promised you I’d return the favor.” He said, his voice thick with lust. As if he couldn’t wait another second he buried his face between your legs, attacking your cunt with a passion you had never felt from any other person in your life.

His attention switched between your hole, to your lips, to your clitoris multiple times, and before you knew it a powerful orgasm washed over you and you had came all over his face. He lapped at you, cleaning you of your fluids before adjusting himself to lean over you, positioning himself against your entrance and pushing himself inside of you in one quick movement. From there he fucked you until you had screamed his name, taking his time at first but toward the end he had taken up fucking you like an animal. So fast, so hard, and so deep. You were certain he had nudged your cervix once, but it didn’t matter to you. He was chasing is orgasm, working toward his release all while the smell of sex emitting from his face pushed you closer and closer to another one.

The bed rattled against the wall, he was moaning and groaning along with you and soon you felt another orgasm washing over you. Your toes curled as you threw your head back, digging your nails into his arms as your shockwaves took over your body momentarily. Your eyes were shut so tight that stars appeared in your vision, and while you couldn’t see it you could tell that Kylo had finished as well. He stilled inside of you as a hot, full, and wet feeling came to exist in between your legs. 

You wound down, releasing his arms and staring at the marks you had left in his skin. He was sweaty, sitting there deep inside of you while his cock released the last few drops of his seed. His eyes were shut, his breathing was deep and uneven, and he looked like you had just given him a run for his money. 

You reached your hands up and grabbed his face, gently caressing his hot red cheeks as his eyes slowly fluttered opened and looked at you. You put on your softest smile as you brought his face down to yours, letting his dry lips come to rest on yours and kissing him softly. As he relaxed his arms and allowed his body to rest on yours, bringing his arms around your head while his kisses sped up you realized that your feelings were beginning to grow deeper for him. You wondered how long it would take before you completely fell for him, before you loved him.

 

You had fallen asleep in his bed after a hot shower in his shower stall and awoke bright and early to him shaking you awake. “Come, we have to go.” He urged, but when you finally pried your eyes open you found his gentle look that he often dawned on his face around you. You stretched your arms above your head and were startled to feel his fingers gliding across your neck and chest. His attention was trained on the deep purple bruises that decorated your skin, you had taken a look at yourself in the mirror last night before your shower and--my god--Kylo really had done a number on you. Any outsider looking in might have thought that you were being abused by your lover, but that simply wasn’t the case. You were proud of your love marks that Kylo had so graciously given you, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Where’re we going?” You asked, bringing your arms down to your sides. You both had still been naked, and it seemed Kylo didn’t even care to put on clothes after crawling out of bed to wake you up. “You’ll see.” He said, but you shook your head in reply. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of his morning erection, you wondered briefly if the two of you would have time for a quick tryst of morning sex but when he turned to walk toward his closet you figured that was a no. 

So as soon as he was gone from your view you dragged yourself out of bed and into your own room where you readied yourself; brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, trying your best to cover your marks with some makeup and dressing in some jeans and a simple T-shirt. Then you waltzed right back into Kylo’s room where you sat in his desk chair and waited for him. Once he was done he took his hand in yours and brought it to his lips, placing a light kiss on your skin and succeeding in sending chills throughout your body. “Ready to go?” He asked. “Of course I am!” You said cheerfully. With a satisfying squeeze to your hand he led you throughout his home where you set foot out into the busy hallway of the First Order.

It wasn’t as if this was your first time roaming the halls of the Order, but you had never felt so free before. Knowing you weren’t off to a jail or anywhere that would be a danger to you was a good feeling, and an even greater was the feeling of Kylo’s gloved hand in yours. He held your hand tight, looking straight ahead as if nothing were amiss. You looked up at him proudly, everyone was staring at the two of you as you marched throughout the halls. This must have been how Tori felt when she was with him, she sure was a lucky woman. You suddenly found yourself happy to have switched places with her.

You stayed close to Kylo as he led you to the hangar, up to a row of TIE Fighters. “Oh, I remember reading about these!” You said as you let go of his hand and ran up to one. They were much bigger than you had originally thought. The wings were massive and relatively thin, for the first time you had found something that you thought was pretty neat in the Star Wars universe, they didn’t scare you at all. “Are we going for a ride?” You asked Kylo as he began to walk past you.

“We are, but not in one of these.” He said, holding his head high as he marched past you. You ran up behind him, trying to keep pace with his long strides until the two of you reached the very end of the row. “This is my ship.” He said, stopping and holding out his arm in front of a much different ship. It was similar in size to a TIE Fighter, but its wings were sharp and pointed outward. “The TIE Silencer. It was made specifically for me for a test run, there’s no other ship out there like it.” He said as the hatch fell open and he began to ascend in. You had a hearty smile on your face as you followed him in, climbing into the seat behind his in the cockpit. 

He sat in front of you, began pressing buttons and pulling levers just as the ship began to shake to life. “Buckle up.” He warned as the engines roared to life, but in the midst of it all you shouted at him to wait. He turned his head to you, and then you meagerly explained that you didn’t know how to operate the safety harness. The engine noises died out, and when they did you heard him laugh at you. He unbuckled himself and bent over his seat so that he could get to you, reaching over your head and pulling the harness down over you. You swore to him that you had tried to bring it down and it wasn’t working but he simply shook his head at you, reaching over at your sides to pull out the other belts and buckled them into the harness. “Are you comfortable?” He asked, cocking a brow at you. With your hands on the harness you nodded your head, then he placed a small kiss on your nose before sitting back in the front of the ship. 

“Good to go.” He announced before you felt the ship rocking to life. You leaned forward to get a better view of the hangar as he moved about it to the gate that opened into space. It was amazing, like being in a 3D movie somehow--it just didn’t seem real. “Hang on, kid.” Kylo warned as he began flipping even more switches. “We’re going into hyperdrive.” He said, and by the tone of his voice you could tell he was smiling. It was like he enjoyed showing off all his toys to you, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy seeing them too.

Suddenly your head was thrown back as the small ship took off at seemingly a million miles an hour. It was like the wildest roller coaster you had ever been on and you found yourself screaming at the top of your lungs while the biggest smile decorated your face. You felt the ship began to escalate into space as everything around you turned into a mess of blue and black. It was a thriller, and sadly it all came to an end too soon when regular stars and planets came into view in front of you. 

Kylo was zeroing in on a planet that looked an awful lot like Earth. Lots of water, lots of greens and browns. You tried to sit up to get a better look but before you knew it he steered the ship downward and your stomach grew sore with the familiar feeling you got when you went down on a roller coaster. As the landmasses grew bigger your ears popped and you figured the pressure change was getting to you. Not long after that you were pulling onto what looked like a regular airstrip and Kylo slowed, pulling into another hangar where someone directed him to park his ship in the middle of a row of other strange looking ships. The engine died down and as it did Kylo unbuckled his belt and turned his entire body to face you, a smug smile plastered onto his face.

“You were having so much fun that you felt the need to deafen me, I see?” He asked, and soon your body began to glow in embarrassment. “Whoops.” You said quietly, then looked down to your harness to see if you could unbuckle it yourself, but of course you couldn’t. Kylo reached back in between your legs and undid everything with one hand, then used the same hand to hold yours as you climbed out. 

The two of you walked through the hangar and into what seemed to be like an airport, bustling with all sorts of unearthly creatures. You were enjoying the change of scenery, eyeing all of the life forms around you when Kylo swung his arm around you and drew you in close to him. You struggled to free your arm from him, to wrap it around his waist as you looked up to him and asked him where you were. “Somewhere special.” Was all he told you before he led you out to the curb where people were coming in and out. “You’ve taught me so much about your culture, now I’ll return the favor.” He said, steering you toward a hovering vehicle. You were giddy inside as you thought about how considerate he was, to go out of his way to make you more comfortable in this new universe for you. 

In the backseat of the car you held his hand as you stared out the window, he had been so good to you and you were happy to be spending even more time with him. You couldn’t wait to see the sights, eager to know more about him and his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how to end this fic. I thought of a happier ending that I like the idea of, but the original ending was a somewhat bad ending that would have left it open to a sequel. What do you guys think?


	14. Chapter 14

You watched in awe as the car you climbed into drove off like a normal car from Earth would, then once it drove out from under the airport overpass it suddenly took off into the air. It was like an extremely compact airplane, going much faster than one as well. You couldn’t hold back your smile as you watched the organisms and other vehicles shrink as you ascended higher and higher, and once you were in the air you had joined several other floating vehicles flying around several beautifully sculpted skyscrapers and buildings. This was unlike anything you had ever seen on Earth, you were sure you would never have been able to even dream of anything like this.

“Don’t scream, please.” Kylo said, squeezing your hand and bringing your attention to him. “I don’t know that my driver would appreciate your beautiful shrieking voice.” You giggled at him, squeezing your knees together and looking back out of the window. It was like the Jetsons, flying throughout the city like this, just like the Jetsons but better because this was real. “Where are we?” You had to know, such a beautiful place must have had a beautiful name. Plus, what if Kylo wanted to take you out later? Of course you’d want to come back here! 

“Chandrila.” He said, dropping your hand in favor of sliding it up your thigh. “My home planet. You’ve taught me so much about your own home planet, I feel obligated to teach you about mine.” You were excited; Tori’s room and Kylo’s room, the only places on Star Killer Base that you enjoyed being, were nice and all, but this was your first taste of the outside world. And what better place than to Kylo’s home planet? You hunkered down, placing your hand over Kylo’s in your lap. You smiled at him, told him thank you before leaning your head on his shoulder. He was so wonderful, such a thoughtful man. “You didn’t have to work today?” You asked him. You thought it was odd, some days Kylo spent all day at home with you, some days he came home early, and some days he worked all day and all night. “Not at all, the General will take care of matters while I’m gone. I’m not obligated to tell him where I go.” You remembered he was a Commander, but didn’t know enough about the position to know if he was required to work every day. You sighed, oh well. It didn’t matter, the two of you were here now and enjoying yourselves.

By the time the vehicle began descending you had your head pressed against the glass, watching as you started falling above a rather open and unoccupied area. The closer you got to the ground the clearer the image became, and soon you saw pavement, walkways, foliage, and cages. The drop happened quickly and once the vehicle had come to a complete stop you were sitting outside of a large archway with a large purple and black sign written in a language you didn’t understand. 

“Come now, let’s go. Don’t want it to get too late.” He said, opening the door and stepping out. Not wanting to step out in traffic you slid across the seat to Kylo’s side of the cab, and once he saw you coming he cordially held his hand out for you to take. With a hearty smile you took his hand and he helped you step out. “Ready?” He asked. “As I’ll ever be.” You retorted, your eyes settling on the large sign. Once you took in the alien language you looked down the walkway and noticed people were staring at you, people were craning their necks in their ground-based vehicles to look at you and some were even stopping completely to gawk at you and Kylo. It was strange, but you had to remember who was currently snaking their arm around your waist, leading you toward the entrance of wherever you were. He was well known, people were afraid of him and probably didn’t want to be anywhere near him. It didn’t matter, though. As the cool air began softly caressing your face you leaned into him, allowed his body heat to comfort you. None of these people knew what Kylo was like behind closed doors, none of them knew how lovely he was.

“Where are we going?” You asked as you walked under the arches, the small crowd of people that had gathered around you began parting as you walked in, it was like you were a member of royalty! “We’re at the Hanna City Zoological Gardens. My mother used to take me here whenever she’d get a rare day off work. I loved coming here as a child.” He said, a sound smile stretching across his face. He was adorable, you could tell he was reminiscing and thinking on good memories, much better than what he had expressed to you when the two of you had first met. 

“Oh, it’s like a zoo? With animals on display?” You asked, feeling excited all over again. “A zoo, yes. That’s what Tori had taught me.” Kylo retorted, and you instantly felt even giddier on the inside. You were sure that, if someone had told you that you’d be going to a zoo at the beginning of your stay in the Star Wars universe you would have been so unimpressed and probably even afraid. But now that you had found your footing, now that you were comfortable in your surroundings you were excited. What did ‘animals’ look like on this planet? What other kinds of biomes existed around this universe and what different animals would live there? You repressed an urge to speed up like an excited child, knowing Kylo would not be in the mood to run around with you.

Instead you occupied your mind with questions you’d want to ask Kylo, the first one being how much does it cost to get into such a zoo?

“It’s free.” He said, prying into your mind as he sometimes did. You looked up at him, admiring the way he looked straight ahead and ignored all of the people staring at the two of you; you were beginning to become self conscious. What if they knew you weren’t from here? What were they thinking about you and Kylo? You huffed, did it really matter? Now was just about you and Kylo, it had nothing to do with them.

“The National Zoo in DC is free too, it’s fucking huge.” 

“Is it really?” Kylo asked. “It is, I can never do it all in one day.” He giggled at you as you got deeper and deeper into the zoo, and before you knew it you were standing in front of the first exhibit, face to face with an extremely tall, eight legged creature with extremely slick looking skin. “My god.” You whispered. “What is that thing?” Kylo laughed at you as the creature walked off. It was ugly, and had you seen it before you and Kylo had become a ‘thing’ you probably would have run off in the other direction so fast. “It’s called a Kivaroa.” He said, following the massive creature as it walked to the other side of it’s pen and laid down. “Native to Tsevuka, they’re vicious creatures. Known to ambush their prey and they’re tough to fight off.”

“Well that doesn’t surprise me.” You said, looking on in awe as another one began stalking over to the glass, bending down on it’s legs to get a better look at you. It was ugly, its fangs sticking out from it’s snout made it seem like something you’d have a nightmare about as a child. “What normal person could fight this thing off and live?”

“Grand Moff Tarkin, my dear. His entire fleet got ambushed by several of these things and only a few of them lived to tell the tale.” You turned your head to Kylo to tease him, to tell him Tarkin wasn’t a real person. But you had forgotten, you were literally in the Star Wars universe. Everything Kylo was saying and would say to you was real, including these insanely humongous creatures.

Kylo moved his hand to yours, gripping it once again and sending butterflies fluttering throughout your stomach as he pulled you over to the next exhibit. It was like a date, a friendly date to the zoo and it was an amazing feeling. It was like you were back home simply having a stroll through the DC Zoo, if only the creatures were much bigger, smaller, and more fantastic than the animals you were used to.

Kylo took you all around the zoo that morning. He showed you giant stinging insects called Diplopods, let you see the Blood Spites that captured and killed birds twice their size in their nests. You got the chance to hold and cuddle a Porg, learned all about Sneeps, Jakobeasts, and Rorks. By the time you had gone full circle and made your way back to the entrance of the zoo you were beyond blown away. You had learned so much about your new surroundings and it even got you wondering about more. What was this planet like, or that planet like? It seemed so easy to ‘planet hop,’ at least for Kylo it was. If you wanted to go to another Territory that was not within the States you needed an expensive passport and an expensive plane ticket, but for Kylo everything was free. He didn’t need a passport to get into Chandrila, and from the way he spoke to you at the zoo he made it seem like he could take you anywhere your heart desired.

Except for Earth, of course. 

And at the thought of your home planet you began to grow sad. It was great here, being with Kylo and learning all about Hanna City and his home planet and all that jazz, but right in the middle of your walk out of the zoo you grew massively homesick. The zoo you had just toured was cool, but what about the DC Zoo? Or the much smaller Baltimore Zoo? You’d never get to see those zoos again according to Kylo. What about your job and your work friends? You had been gone for so long now, surely they must be missing you! You began to miss them, growing quite sad that your job position had probably already been filled. You grew to miss your little apartment, your own little space and your walk to work every morning. You missed your home, there was no denying that. 

It seemed as Kylo wasn’t currently in your mind, because he just went on and on about his early childhood in Hanna City. You stopped mid step, allowing Kylo to walk ahead of you until he realized you had stopped walking. “Everything alright?” He asked, turning around to face you fully. “Do you want to go back and look at one of the creatures?” You shook your head as you realized there would be no reason to hide it. The two of you had moved forward in your relationship and you felt like you couldn’t hold back. You shoved your hands into the pockets of your jeans, looked Kylo in the eye and asked your question, trying to appease him instead of making it seem like you wanted to get away from him:

“Do you think I’ll ever have a chance to show you around my home?” 

You watched as Kylo’s face fell from a happy grin to a more neutral frown. Your hope dwindled with each passing second until Kylo took ahold of your hand and began pulling you toward the exit again. “Let’s eat lunch, shall we?” He asked, completely ignoring your question. You sighed internally, shaking your sadness off of your shoulders for now. Kylo obviously thought it was a conversation to be had another day. So he led you back toward the cab you had arrived in, politely held the door open for you to enter and then got in behind you, situating himself next to you. “Flagstone Inn, please. Make a reservation immediately available.” He said to the driver, then waved his hand in front of the small area between the rows where a black screen rose up between you and the driver.

You felt the car take off into the air just as it had the first time, but knowing what had just taken place between you and Kylo you couldn't’ enjoy the sights. You missed your home, your car, your job, and even though you didn’t want to admit it you missed your family. You hated the way Kylo skated around your question at the exit of the zoo, and it worried you to pieces. Even if you could go visit Earth once, just once, you’d be happy. But no, according to Kylo you could never go back. You were stuck here, even if you were enjoying yourself.

“Didn’t you have fun?” Kylo asked you out of the blue. “Of course I did.” You said, putting on your most realistic fake smile. “Then why do you want to go back home so badly?” Kylo asked you, you let out a sigh. “You like it here, you like me and enjoy spending time with me, why would you want to go back home?” You shut your eyes, didn’t even know where to begin your explanation. You wanted to ask him why he was so clueless, why he was so out of touch with other people’s realities to think that just because you enjoyed your time with him meant you never wanted to go back home. But you didn’t it, it would only further ruin the mood and it sounded like he was about to treat you to some of his planets food, that was something you wanted to be excited for.

“It isn’t like that, Kylo.” You assured him. “I just miss my home. It makes me sad that I was so abruptly taken from it and now I can never go back.” You said, and it was the truth. You’d do anything for just a quick visit back to Earth, and then you would come right back for sure. “I’m sure after this day is over you will change your mind.” He said, turning and looking out the window. “I can’t lose you again.” He said, but you refused to reply. You let his cryptic words hang in the air around you, you weren’t sure what it meant and it was probably best you didn’t find out.

 

The restaurant he took you to was fantastic. You had managed to push your qualms with Kylo to the side to enjoy the food he had ordered for you: smoked nerf with a side of stewfruit and mounder potato rice. You listed to him intently talk about how it wasn’t real Corellian food, that Corellia wasn’t as well off as this planet was and the food was much lower quality there. You hardly knew what he was talking about, the food tasted so good to you! Although it did look kind of odd and you were hesitant to eat it at first you were happy that you did, it tasted unlike anything you had ever tasted from Earth before. 

The actual restaurant was even cuter; a super fancy bed and breakfast where there was minimal sounds and people around, in fact you and Kylo were the only ones in the general area that you were in. A spacious booth with a table draped in a white table cloth with a candle lit in the middle, it was so romantic, and as you looked across the table at Kylo as he talked about his father and mother, listened closely as he talked more about Hanna City and about Corellia, you realized that you could be in love. You loved his smile, you loved the way he pronounced the word ‘Hanna,’ you loved the sound of his voice, you loved the small quicks he had about him, you loved all of his facial features and you just adored how thoughtful he was over you. Even though he was a little selfish when it came to going back home you felt like he was one of the most cordial gentlemen you had ever met, and if you were stuck here you were glad you were here with him of all people.

“It’s so funny, you know.” He said, lifting his cup of tea to his lips and taking a small sip. “I try not to pry into your mind because I know you don’t fully understand and you think it’s rude. But I don’t have to look into your mind to know you’re thinking of me when you blush like that.” Your damn traitorous cheeks and their reddening! You laughed, using a napkin to dab some sauce off of your mouth you looked down at the table. “I’m sorry, I can’t help the way I feel sometimes.” You admitted, thinking maybe he would feel the same way and express himself just like you were. You looked back up at him as his eyebrows shot up and a lovely smile stretched across his face. You could tell that your feelings about falling quickly and headfirst in love with him were mutual.

 

The day went on as usual, Kylo showed you all around Hanna City, in and out of the small shops and lovely corners. It was like a dream, and your dream ended with a brand new dress that Kylo was patient enough to have you fitted for in a small boutique. It was a deep red, strapless, knee length sun dress with black buttons up the front. It fit you so well and felt like silk, you wondered how much this would cost him but it didn’t even seem like he paid. Once you were dressed back in your regular clothing he simply took you by the hand and led you out into the sunset, asking you if you were ready to go back home. Holding the box that held your new dress close to you, you nodded gleefully, ready to head back home, have a nice hot bath and some wine. 

Soon you found yourselves back in the cab up in the air, the black screen up once again separating you from the driver. You were staring at the screen trying to stay awake, the driver had told you it would take over an hour to get back to the airport with the evening traffic and you were ready for a nap. You closed your eyes just for a minute, but soon you were pulled from the darkness by a mechanical noise from your right. You opened your eyes to find the back of the car almost pitch black, looked over to Kylo to ask what was going on.

“Shh.” He said before you even got a chance to speak. You felt him reach over into your lap for your hand, stretched your arm all the way over to him. You didn’t think much of it, thought he only wanted you to hold his hand while he slept or something. That was, until your hand mad contact with something long, warm, and stiff.

“Oh my god.” You said, an awkward giggle coming from your throat as you wrapped your hand around his cock. “Here?” You asked, jerking him just slightly and quickly being rewarded by the tiniest bit of precum under your thumb. “Yes, here.” He said, taking ahold of your hand and moving it over his cock faster. “I’ve wanted you since I saw you in your underwear at the dress shop, but I knew it wouldn’t be appropriate there. I told myself I’d wait till we got into the air, and I want you  _ now.”  _ He said, with just a hint of lust in his voice. He let go of your hand, let out a satisfied sigh as you began going at his desired speed all by yourself.

_ Right here?  _ With another person a foot away from you and several others around you in the traffic? Wasn’t he at all worried about being caught? You had to wonder what the sex offender laws in the Star Wars universe were, surely people--and aliens--couldn’t just walk around completely nude and fucking each other right? Besides, you had never done anything remotely in public with anyone at all and couldn’t fathom getting naked from the waist down just for him.

“Nobody can see you, silly girl.” He said in a gentle, encouraging tone. “I don’t want you to fuck me in this small space, either. Use your mouth. When you were intoxicated you were irresistible, I have to know how well you do when in your right frame of mind.” He said reaching up and placing his hand around your head. You let out a groan as your seatbelt prevented you from being dragged so quickly toward his lap, instead he tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled your face up to his. “Is it something you’re willing to do?” He asked, and you found yourself wondering if you should say no or not. Clearly he was giving you the choice, he wasn’t going to force you into sucking him off in the back of his cab. Would it really be all that bad? They looked like they could be black out tints on the windows and he had already discussed rather loudly what he liked about your first sexual encounter.  And you certainly wanted a way to thank him for taking you out on a fancy date for the day.

“Ah, what the hell!” You said, reaching over and unbuckling your seatbelt. You took a dive to his lap and managed to get it right on your first try. His cock was now sinking deeper and deeper into the back of your throat. You did as you knew to do, prodding the head of his cock in all the right places with your tongue until you worked up the nerve to begin truly suck him, gliding your mouth up and down until you felt him relax above you.

If you were going to make it back home somehow, you wanted to go back being able to say you gave a good looking Star Wars character a blow job in the back of a floating cab. Sure no one would believe you, but why would they need to when this encounter was as real as real could get in your mind. There was no way you would ever forget this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish Kylo would take me on a date through the city lol.


	15. Chapter 15

It took quite a while to get to the airport, and after swallowing Kylo’s load in the back of the cab you took to leaning your head on the window and falling asleep. Kylo kept his hand on your thigh the entire time and for some reason, even with the small, sour part of your day, you felt safe with him. He was protective of you, and it was evident in the way he held you as you slept peacefully next to him. You wondered if he slept too, because when he woke you up at the airport he seemed kinda groggy as well. The sun was setting on Chandrila and your body was begging you to fall back asleep, but you couldn’t. Kylo was stepping out of the cab and reaching for your hand. You took it, flashing him a tired smile before climbing out and wrapping your arm around him. You were ready to head home, back to Tori’s room where maybe you could get a small nap in before cooking dinner for you and Kylo.

As it turned out, Kylo had one more trick up his sleeve for you and that was the medbay. You had forgotten that he offered you birth control the previous day, probably would have been a good thing to remember before allowing him to finish inside of you but oh well. You were here and prepared to get the injection, then you could have all the sex you wanted with him. 

The first question out of his mouth was ‘Are you sexually active?’ and you thought it was strange that he looked over at Kylo before he looked at you. But then again, you got the idea that Kylo was possessive, and you knew he could get violent if offended. You tried to shrug your worry off your shoulders before answering with an honest nod. “Anytime within the last twenty four hours?” He asked, and you felt your cheeks blushing as you remembered the passionate sex the two of you had shared the previous night as well as the oral sex you performed on him in the cab. “Yes, actually.” You answered, Kylo reached over and took your hand in his, squeezing you as if to say ‘don’t go into detail.’ You weren’t planning to, you had never been to an OB/GYN that had asked you to delve that far into your sexual life and you weren’t expecting this one to do so either. Instead he wheeled his chair over to the cabinet where he pulled out a plastic cup and asked you to provide a urine sample. You didn’t have to think too hard about what it was for, but Kylo wasn’t impressed.

“You believe I got her pregnant, doctor?” He asked, as if the doctor had insulted him. The doctor refused to look at him, only down at his paperwork before answering it was routine before prescribing any form of birth control and swiftly walked out of the exam room, leaving you holding your container quite awkwardly. “I guess I’ll be right back, then.” You said, trying to head after the doctor but Kylo had none of it. “No, it’s alright.” He said taking a hold of your wrist and pushing you in front of him. “If I had any suspicions that you were carrying my child I wouldn’t have brought you here for birth control.” He said, scowling as he took the container from your hand and set it down on the examination table. “Lift your shirt.” He commanded, and you knew better than to argue with him when he got into moods like this.

As he lay his hand down on your womb you asked him jokingly if this is how pregnancy tests were done in the Order, a urine test would have been completely fine with you. He scoffed at you and you left the subject alone, at least until your abdomen began to warm under his hand. It tickled slightly as you felt something like long, silky fingers working their way past your skin and into your uterus, feeling around like he was performing some kind of incisionless surgery on you. “Woah,” You giggled. “That feels weird.” He looked up at you before feeling the fingers retreat, placed his hand in his lap and just looked at you.

“So, are we expecting?” You asked, smiling down at him. You didn’t feel pregnant and you were expecting him to say no and go on some tirade about the doctor's ignorance, but you got something completely different.

“It looks like we are.” He said, with a deep sigh. He slouched in the chair as his hands fell in his lap and you were speechless. Your heart felt like it came to a standstill in your chest as you analyzed his reply to you.  _ It looks like we are.  _ You were  _ pregnant _ ? 

“Wh-what?” You asked him, placing your hands over your womb. “Did you just say--”

“I was kidding, y/n.” Kylo said, a nervous smile breaking his stoic face. In that moment all of the stress that had plagued you at the thought of your pregnancy fell off your shoulders, it definitely wasn’t something you were expecting at all. “Kylo!” You shouted, throwing your hands over your face and laughing off your embarrassment. You felt his arms wrap around you and pull you into him, bending your knees so that you were straddling his lap. “Kylo that wasn’t funny.” You said, almost feeling the need to cry in relief. A baby was definitely not something you were ready for, especially not all alone in the Star Wars universe. “I thought it was pretty funny, your reaction.” He said, placing a loud kiss on your warm, rosy cheeks. “Well it wasn’t.” You said, trying to sound serious and firm. It wasn’t funny to scare people like that, especially those you care about. “I’m sorry, baby.” He said deeply into your ear, and even though you were still embarrassed you forgave him. You stood from his lap and got back up on the examination table, wondering when the doctor would come back. Although you did believe Kylo when he said he was just kidding, you still had to wonder how accurate his ‘Force pregnancy test’ was, or if he were lying or not. 

“Go do your piss test, if you doubt me.” He said, trying to sound stern and offended but you knew he wasn’t. “Don’t mind if I do.” You replied, hopping back off the table and out the door with your cup in your hand. One part due to the fact that you did doubt him, even just a little. Another part due to the fact that you wanted to get away from him for just a moment. As you walked down the hall to the bathroom you couldn’t get the nagging feeling away from you. Were you actually pregnant?

As it turned out, Kylo was right. Your test came back negative and you had never been so relieved. You stole a look over at Kylo who was looking at you amused, but you still wouldn’t drop your pride. You looked back to the doctor as he started to explain the shot to you and how it would affect you over the next few months. You could feel Kylo’s grin on the back of your neck the entire time, but you ignored him, thinking he could rub it in your face later, just not now. Maybe you would really have to learn to trust him. 

The doctor left to send for the medical aid to administer the shot, and before she came Kylo chimed in, offering even more words of wisdom in your time of need. “You know, it would have been a good thing.” He said, you turned your attention to him for just a moment. “I wouldn’t have been upset.” At the mention of a baby between the two of you as ‘good news,’ you found it in you to relax just a little bit more. At least if a ‘happy accident’ did happen during your time here, Kylo wouldn’t be upset.

There was no more baby talk after that, the medical aid came in and gave you your shot and sent you on your way back home. Kylo dropped you off and told you that he’d be heading back into work and you were free to do whatever you wanted to. As soon as he left you ran throughout his home, passing the large windows that overlooked the snowy landscape that was Star Killer Base and heading up the stairs to his giant bed where you flopped down and cuddled up for a long, long nap. You were happy that Kylo was so attentive to you and your needs, he had certainly proved himself to be a great partner during your entire day out.

\--

 

Days passed, weeks, months and you felt like you had finally settled into life with Kylo. He hadn’t spoken a word about Tori and you counted it as a blessing. You felt like he had finally started to live his life for you instead of living it for Tori and only including you because you were here instead of her. The two of you ate dinner together every night in his dining room and then usually enjoyed a quiet evening with just the two of you; Chess was his favorite thing to do but you also had taken up dancing with him, playing card games, taking long, relaxing bubble baths and whatever else the two of you wanted to do. It was great, but what was even better was the way he’d fuck you.

You considered yourself to be a free spirit with Kylo. While most of your life had been nothing but vanilla sex with maybe a change of position every once and a while, your sex life with Kylo had been upgraded tenfold. 

Kylo was a freak to say the least. He was into so much more than you when when it came down to it and it amazed you. Chocolate sauce on his abs and on your back, leather belts to tie you to his bed or your arms behind your back, blind folds, ice and warming fluids, choking, so many different positions you had lost track of what you had done with him two weeks after you returned from Hanna City. It was great, and what was even better was, when you were too uncomfortable to try something he wanted to do he wouldn’t fuss over it at all. You had to wonder yet again: Why did Torellia want to leave him when he was such a great guy?

Something did change, however, just a few months after you came back from Hanna City. Something you hadn’t seen coming, something that hit you so hard out of left field you thought it was almost out of character for Kylo.

Kylo had taken the evening off work and surprised you with a walk around the base. He didn’t often take you out, but you didn’t worry too much about it because you didn’t often ask him. Whenever you did he always took you somewhere, but this night was different. He came home right before dinner time and asked you to accompany him somewhere. You held his hand as the two of you walked down the hallway, trusting him to keep you safe and entertained wherever you were going. He asked you to dress formally, and you wore his favorite dress: A tight but comfortable velvet red dress that came down to your mid thigh. He looked so pleased with you, and once you got to your destination you realized why he wanted you to dress so nicely. 

It was a theater, and not just some school cafeteria theater either. It was an actual theater, with balcony seats and everything. It was amazing, especially when Kylo led you up the back of the stairs to the two balcony seats you had noticed on your way in. This had always been a dream of yours, to see a play from the most expensive seats in the house. You bounced excitedly next to him as he placed his arm around you, the curtains opened and you were faced with the opening of your favorite play: The Phantom of the Opera.

You had cried the entire time. You had everything you needed at the moment: The great man, the great seats, the great music, and the great story. You had no idea how you’d thank him, wondered how he knew you enjoyed this play so much but it didn’t matter. You paid close attention to what was going on like it was the first time you had seen it and you enjoyed yourself.

That was until Kylo took ahold of your hand and pulled it toward him. You weren’t paying attention to him, just the beautiful song Prima Donna which had always been your favorite. As the actors and actresses danced along the stage flawlessly he brought your hand into his lap and you jumped when you felt his erection in his pants. You took a confused look at Kylo, was he serious? Anyone could look up here and see you blowing him, or riding him, or giving him a handjob. The other few people in the audience could look up and see you two, and you knew the people performing the play could see you, what the hell was Kylo trying to accomplish here? 

_ You were looking for a way to thank me.  _ He said in your head, you took a horrified look over at him. He expected you to fuck him on this balcony as thanks for bringing your favorite play to a theater for you? That was whack and something you wouldn’t be willing to do. You tried to take your hand away but Kylo held it there in his lap firmly, you sat forward in the chair and looked down in time to see him adjusting himself so he could pull his fly down and fish his fully erect cock from his pants. “Kylo!” You gasped, trying your hardest to pull your hand away from him but your efforts were in vain, he forced your hand toward his cock and forcibly wrapped your fingers around it, dragging your hand along his cock while people sat below and in front of you. 

You shrieked, momentarily drawing people’s attention from the stage, this couldn’t actually be happening right now, could it? Kylo’s head had lolled back on his seat as if he were enjoying forcing you to jerk him off, but once you begin bringing attention to yourself he had stopped, released your hand and looked down at you with a confused and upset look on his face. “Please,” You breathed, snatching your hand away while you tried to shake the feeling of his cock off your palm. “I don’t want that right now.” You said, but he just stared at you looking lost. You took solace in the fact that he nodded, then looked solemnly back to the play. You were still shaken, to get a blowjob in the back of a car with tinted windows is one thing, but there were plenty of people that could see you here! And then what? What little of a reputation you had in the Order would be tarnished, you’d forever be known as a whore who pleasured Kylo Ren during the production of Phantom of the Opera, and that was not okay with you.

Regardless, you tried to shake your fear off your shoulders and enjoy the rest of the play. By the time it was over Kylo was taking a hold of your knee and squeezing it, bringing your attention to him for the second time during the play. “Did you enjoy yourself?” He asked, standing and pulling you up with him. “I did.” You replied, offering him a genuine smile. “I remember you had told me about this play a while ago, I wanted to do something special for you.” He said, turning toward the stairs so that you could head back home. “Well, thank you.” You retorted, once again pushing the image of his poorly lit cock to the back of your mind. It had nearly ruined the entire experience for you, but luckily enough you were still able to enjoy the acting and the wonderful music regardless.

Once you were out in the hallways of the First Order Kylo went on to explain that Tori was mildly into plays just like you, he specifically said her favorite play was ‘Les  _ Miz’  _ and you had to giggle at him. “You mean  _ Les Miserables? _ ” You asked, then you watched as his face began turning all kinds of red. “I guess. So. She’s always called it ‘Les Miz’” Once again you laughed at him, now one hundred percent over your nasty run in with him in the theater. You had your happy and fun Kylo back, and he was all you needed.

The two of you talked about the play, you told him what you knew about it and what you thought of it in the very end, and while doing so you didn’t realize that you were in an area of the base that you didn’t recognize. You trusted Kylo, you didn’t see any need to worry so you just walked closer to him, the familiar feeling of his body against yours enough to keep all your worries at bay.

At least until you came to the end of an empty hallway.

Once you got to the end you turned around and looked at him with a rather confused smile on your face. “What’s going on, Kylo?” You asked, but all he did was cross his arms over his chest. A scowl settled on his face and you realized he may be upset at you for something, and soon you began to worry. He looked you up and down, then took another step closer to you. You had to wonder if this had to do with you not wanting to please him in the theater, was he about to hurt you for it? You placed your hands over your heart as you took a step back, you were cornered with nowhere to go now. 

“Are you sure you had a good time in the theater?” He asked, and you nodded your head. “Of course, Kylo. I love Phantom of the Opera, it was very kind of you to organize it for me.” You stammered, taking yet another step back away from him. By now your back was against the wall, you had no idea what was going on and you had only seen him this angry at you a handful of times. “Is this about what happened? While we were watching it?” You asked, your heartbeat quickening under your fingertips. You thought he was about to beat you black and blue in this hallway where nobody would see you, nobody would hear you calling out for help. You shivered in your shoes, would this really be the end of you and Kylo?

“I’m sorry, Kylo. I just wasn’t comf--” You went onto explain yourself and why you told him no, but before you could finish Kylo was seizing your hips into his hands, pulling you against him and enveloping your mouth with his. It took you by surprise, but it was a great relief to know that he wasn’t upset with you. You gleefully wrapped your arms around him, embracing him for everything he had to offer you. He really was a great guy, and you could tell he admired you from the way his hands roamed all of you to the way his kisses deepened, moving from your mouth to your jaw and down to your neck.

A moan escaped from your lips just as one of his hands went down the curvature of your backside and to your thigh, hiking your dress up inch by inch. “Woah, Kylo.” You said, steadying yourself on his shoulders. “I told you, I came up with a way for you to adequately thank me.” He said, his voice heavy with lust as both of his hands dropped to the bottom of your dress. “Uh, here?” You asked, once again feeling horrified at the thought of engaging Kylo here, in the hallways of the First Order. “Yes, right here. Right now.” He said as he reached up under your dress. In one swift movement he grasped your panties in his hands and  _ ripped  _ them off of you in one powerful movement, fumbling around and placing them in his jacket pocket. You yelped and jumped, realizing that you were now exposed from the waist down as Kylo was slowly but surely raising the hem of your dress up above your waist. 

“Kylo-Argh!” You said as he abruptly lifted one of your legs into the air, hugging your knee to his side as he reached down with his other hand and freed his cock. “Fuck, you smell so good.” He says to you as his once again freed cock brushes against your lips. “I can smell you, you want it too.” He says to you, once again pressing his lips into the side of your neck. You had no idea what he was talking about, you weren’t turned on at all and you were afraid. You had told him no in the theater, did he think that it was even more acceptable here?

“Relax, y/n.” He coos as he reaches in between the two of you to line himself up. “I’ve fucked here more times than I could count, no one will find us.” You sat there speechless as he allowed you to fall onto his cock, clutching the back of his robes you stood as high as you could on the tips of your toes. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you hadn’t explicitly given him permission to do this to you but here you were. Out in the open where anyone could see you, and just like in the theater you were sure you knew what people would say.  _ Did you see that prisoner fucking the Commander earlier this evening? She has no shame!  _ Your teeth clattered as you tried to put your other foot down, you really didn’t want to do this with him, but now there was little more you could do. He had already started moving in and out of you, you were at a severe disadvantage.

“Kylo…” You grumbled under your breath as he pressed himself fully inside of you. You looked over his shoulder at the empty hallway, maybe he was right. Maybe the two of you couldn’t get caught and you’d be worrying for nothing. Clearly this is what he wanted and he wasn’t willing to wait to get home to fuck you, maybe you should just shut up and try to enjoy it for what it was worth. You tried to relax, to just enjoy the feeling of his cock working in and out of you like you always did. You always thought it was so hot how he tried to feel as much of you as possible, and no was no different. He pressed up against you as much as he could, his chest touching yours as he moaned and groaned into your neck, telling you that you were so fucking sexy all while picking up speed. It really wasn’t that bad, in fact you were beginning to feel pleasure from his actions. There was something so sexy about the thrill of being caught. Maybe it was because you trusted Kylo, maybe it was because it was late and everyone was at home, but it was telltale once Kylo began gliding smoother and smoother in and out of you that you were slickening for him. You even took it upon yourself to close your eyes and allow you the pleasurable sensations take over, inching closer and closer to your finish.

However, everything changed when you heard something from down the hall. You opened one eye at first and gasped when you saw a single storm trooper standing in the middle of the intersecting hallways, his blaster in his hands just staring at you. “That feel good?” He asked, still completely breathless as he slowed himself down, but you were almost too embarrassed to say anything. “No, Kylo.” You whined, once again trying to wiggle off of him but he kept you locked firmly in place. “Someone is there.” You whispered, and to your horror Kylo giggled at you. 

“Someone’s there?” He asked, sounding cocky as all hell. “Watching us?”

“Yes, someone’s there. Stop.” You asked as politely as you could but he kept going, bellowing louder and louder as the person that stopped to spectate began walking closer to you. “Kylo, please!” You groaned, but he responded by biting down on your neck. Love bites weren’t foreign for you and him, but this was far more than a soft love bit. The pressure of his jaws grew and grew until you had cried out as well, pulling your head away from him only for him to rest his tongue on your wound, licking it to soothe your pain.

You watched as the storm trooper turned around and motion with his hand, shortly afterword two more storm troopers came running out into the open. Your stomach churned painfully and you felt like you were going to vomit all over Kylo, this is not how you expected your evening to go.

“Are they watching?” Kylo asked, his voice was a low growl in your ear and you swore you had never heard him sound more turned on than he sounded now. “Are they watching their Commander fuck his woman? Shamelessly in the hallways where they live? Where anyone and everyone can watch them?” You were speecheless, and as one of them took out their datapad and held it up to you, no doubt recording you and Kylo having sex you felt like you were going to faint. Kylo let out a loud moan as he pushed inside of you and held himself there, asking if they were now recording him. It was obvious he was using the Force to look into your mind, but you could feel your entire face and neck growing red and were far too embarrassed to say anything on the subject before you.

You dropped your face to his neck as he picked up his pace, mumbling something about everyone being able to see it by tomorrow morning. Everyone would know you as the woman who had fucked Kylo ren in the hallway and you’d be just as well known as he was. He was speaking as if it were a good thing, but you were disgusted. He couldn’t be finished fast enough for you, and by the time he had spilled his seed inside of you you were ready to run and hide. He finally let your other foot to the ground, but by the time you had looked up again the three storm troopers were gone, and once again it was just you and Kylo alone in the halls.

You pulled your dress back into place as Kylo tucked himself back into his pants, and as you waited for him to lead you back to your home you rubbed the spot on your neck where he had bit you. You figured a little too late that it was to get you to entertain the masses by making noise, and it had obviously worked in his favor. Now you were standing there looking at his boots, wondering what those people were going to do with the recording they had of you. You had grown anxious and rather angry at Kylo, so much so you felt tears welling in your eyes. 

“Are you alright?” Kylo asked, taking notice of your agony for the first time since this had started. He tucked his finger under your chin to try and make you look at him, but you pushed his hand away. “Let’s just go home. Please, I just want to go home.”

“Why don’t we stop and get some dinner first?” Kylo said, still quite breathless. He pushed his sweaty hair out of his face and stared down at you with a heavy look of concern, but you would have none of it. His seman was dripping down your legs and you felt so dirty, people got their lives ruined like this and it wasn’t funny or acceptable. You were hurt that Kylo would force you into doing something like that, and what was even worse was he didn’t stop when you said no. You didn’t want to say it or think it, but he had hurt you worse than he ever had in the time that you had come to know him, and you weren’t sure if it was anything you could recover from.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out your torn panties, handing them to you for you to clean yourself. It was that depressing moment that you realized Kylo had said something key to you before he began: He had done the same thing in the same spot with someone else. And the underwear that was currently being handed over belonged to  _ her.  _ This was something he was used to doing with Tori, and you had come to the conclusion that Kylo once again was pushing her onto you. He wanted to do things with you that he did with Tori, even if it meant he had to force you into doing them.

You grabbed her panties from him and threw them to the ground, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing his semen on your thighs. You were done, this had been the last straw for you. “Just take me home, Kylo.” You said, raising your hands to your face and wiping your tears. “I want to go home.” You moaned, looking to the floor and covering your bruising neck with your hands. You were in so much emotional pain that it had almost dulled the physical pain he had inflicted upon you. He reached for your hand but you tore it out of his grasp at the last moment, you would be damned if you were to show him any kind of affection after what he did to you. He nodded his head once, turning on his heels as he made his way back down the hall. The only reminder of your heavenly evening gone gruesome was the ripped pair of Tori’s panties that sat sadly on the floor behind you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. Ready for the grand finale?


	16. Chapter 16

The doors opened and Kylo allowed you to sulk into his home, you could feel his eyes on you every step of the way. As you walked up the steps to his bedroom he followed close behind you, the tension wrapped around your throat and choked you as you turned to his bedroom, you couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. You were almost uncomfortable at the thought of walking through his bedroom, as of recent this is where the two of you had spent most of your time. You didn’t often sleep in Tori’s room anymore, instead finding comfort in Kylo’s body most nights before bed and simply curling up beside him, the sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep and leaving you feeling safe and secure in this place so far from home.

But after today? All of it had changed.

“Where are you going?” Kylo asked as you gripped the door handle back to Tori’s room, but you hardly had the heart to answer him. “I, I thought you were just going to change and we’d have dinner.” He stated, you turned and sure enough he was standing there looking sadly confused. It broke your heart, but what he made you endure in the hallway was even worse. You felt you cared so much for Kylo, a little too much for him to put you through such heartbreak when you were almost certain he was thinking of Tori. You weren’t sure you could forgive him either, even removing Tori from the equation still made the act nonconsensual, and you were sure you’d never be able to remove the stain of seeing those people film your rape from your memories. When it all came down to it, Kylo was in the wrong, he only had himself to blame for this.

“I’m not very hungry.” You said, twisting the doorknob and opening the door to the cold, empty room. “Well that’s fine,” Kylo cut in, you could hear him taking steps toward you and you could tell he was panicking. “Why don’t we go downstairs and watch a movie then? I’ll make us some popcorn and some hot chocolate.” He said, holding his hand out to you. “No, Kylo. It’s alright.” You said, inching your way into the room with Kylo hot on your heels. “We’ll take a bath then. Come, undress and--” He said, taking ahold of your arm and pulling you back into his bedroom. You grunted, one part angry and another part terrified that he was going to force you into doing something that you didn’t want to do again.  “No, Kylo.” You said firmly, snatching your arm out of his grasp. “Please, just leave me alone for the night. I’m tired.” You begged, abruptly turning away from him and walking back into Tori’s room. This entire night was a sham, the only thing Kylo had succeeded in doing was embarrassing you and making you even more homesick than you were when you were first brought here. You decided all you would need from here on out would be to rest, maybe when you woke up in the morning you wouldn’t feel so shitty.

You shut the door, unable to look back at Kylo as you knew he’d be upset with the outcome but you didn’t care. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you finally felt safe enough to cry. All of the dirty details hit you at once, the high you were on as you looked down at your favorite play only to come crashing down as painful memories of your rape flew through your mind. It was difficult to call it as such, and to think of Kylo as a rapist pained you but there was no way to beat around the bush, to sugar coat it to dumb it down. You had said no, asked him to stop multiple times and he kept going. Kylo was a sweet man, but tonight you had learned that even the sweetest of men can turn sour in the blink of an eye. You didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to be here at all. You drew your knees up to your chest as you leaned against the backboard of the bed and just sobbed, how could you have possibly let this happen? 

The guilt washed over you as your hindsight kicked in. Why hadn’t you bit him? Why hadn’t you kicked him, fought him, cursed at him, or screamed? You hadn't you  _ demanded  _ he stop? You felt like you had majorly failed yourself, moved the blame from Kylo to you as the remorse continued to set in. Is this how every victim of a violent crime felt? Did they often blame themselves or was this just you giving Kylo a pass because you were fond of him? It was confusing, and the more you thought about it the more you absolutely hated yourself. You even went all the way back to the very beginning: It was your own fault that you burned the book, that you went against Tori’s wishes and looked at the page with the notes in it, that you even skipped work and went to the damn yardsale. Instead of keeping the blame on Kylo where it belonged, you shifted it onto yourself. 

The seconds ticked by, the room sounds of your sobs slowly drowning out as your melancholy was silenced. Your heart and soul were fractured beyond repair, you were alone and you didn’t know how you were supposed to go about healing yourself. You sat there simply sniffling at the wall, certainly just sitting here replaying the vile memories in your mind wouldn’t do you any good. Maybe you should get up. Maybe you should have some tea and find something else to occupy your mind. Reluctantly you unwrapped yourself and tiptoed quietly to the small kitchen, brewed your lemon tea and sat against the counter. Instead of staring at the wall now you stared at the stove, and the number one thought on your mind was ‘why?’ You tried to think of something else, anything else, but it all came full circle back to ‘why?’ You took a brief walk around Tori’s room, you got on your hands and knees and scrubbed the bathroom floor, you sat down and tried to watch Tori’s Disney movies, but each and every time you felt the need to hear it from his own mouth, to hear it from his own lips that he did that awful thing to you because he was thinking about Tori. You paused the movie, sat on the couch silently for about four seconds before you decided you couldn’t wait anymore. You stood bravely to your feet, headed to the door and, before you could get cold feet, you twisted it, proudly let yourself into his room only to find that it was empty. The clock on his desk read 8:44 PM, it was late, he was probably just getting around to eating dinner. You sighed, looked down at the floor as you closed the door, leaving it cracked just a tad. You were still sure you wanted to confront Kylo about it, you just couldn’t do it now. You made your way back to the couch, laying down and playing Lilo and Stitch once again. You lay there simply allowing the timeless cartoon to absorb into your mind until you fell asleep. 

You had been under so much stress that day that your body simply gave out, falling asleep in a fetal position for another few hours before willing you awake with the opening song of the movie once again. You rubbed your eyes, it must have been late. Once your body had adjusted to being awake you shoved your hands under your thighs, the feeling of needing to confront Kylo now even stronger. You struggled with yourself, part of you had missed him and wanted to be with him, the other part of you wanted to snatch him up by his head full of beautiful hair and scream at him. It was Kylo, you hadn’t spent this much time away from him in such a long time. You stood, looked over your shoulder and saw a small strip of dim light from under the door, he was there and he was awake. Now was your chance, you had to get the closure you so desperately needed.

Walking up to the door you gently pushed on it, cracking it just a tad and was happy to see his feet stretched out at the end of the bed. He was there, and even though you were determined to speak to him you felt your stomach drop ten feet inside of you. What if he tried to push it back onto you? What if the two of you ended up fighting and your feelings were hurt even more? You held your breath as you pushed the door open even further, you needed this, you needed to know why he would hurt you so. 

You peeked your head in and noticed his body was twitching ever so slightly, your eyes traveled along his legs and soon you realized you were interrupting something. Your jaw fell as you silently inched your way in, allowing your eyes to roam over his naked body until they stopped cold at his crotch. His right hand held reddened cock tight, pumping it up and down as sounds of pleasure emitted from his mouth. He was masturbating, an act you had seen him do several times before. This time was no different, but it meant you didn’t get to have your conversation with him. You bit your lip, just about to dip out of his room when something caught your eye.

In his hand he held his datapad, it was bobbing along with his rapid, uncontrolled movements. You weren’t aware that he watched porn, this was new for you. You leaned a little bit further into his room, trying to get a glimpse of what he was watching. Not that it mattered, but you wondered if he was watching the video the storm trooper had taken of you. You leaned even closer, thinking you’d never forgive him if he was pleasuring himself to that awful moment of your life.

But it wasn’t, it was much worse than you thought.

You instantly recognized the two brown buns that were braided up on top of the woman’s head. She was dancing, completely naked as she came in and out of the camera’s focal point over and over. Kylo moaned as she turned around, showcasing her curvaceous backside as she sauntered over to a giant black and red throne. It looked like it was his master’s throne, Snoke, you squinted as you wondered how he pulled that off for just a moment, but had to tear your eyes away as she plopped down onto it spreading her legs and resting each of her knees on the armrests of the throne. Your heart came to a painful standstill, through your blurry eyes you watched as she dropped her hands into her cunt, fingering herself and smiling so deviantly. You couldn’t watch, it made you sick. Before you turned away you heard Kylo groan once more, picking up his pace and creating fleshy noises throughout his room. This was it, this was the end. You were unapologetic as you slammed the door behind you, imagining in the back of your mind that Kylo jumped, not expecting it at all. 

You ran all the way to the bed collapsed completely defeated inside of it. You were sure that, during your entire short life, you had never felt this low and unimportant. You pounded your fists into the mattress, screamed into your pillow in utter frustration before a noise behind you caused you to pick your head up and crone your neck. It was none other than Kylo Ren, no dressed in a shirt and underwear he held his hands out to you, a look of fear spread across his face. He stuttered your name as he stepped into the room, speechless just like you expected him to be. “I, I swear, it wasn’t what it looked like.” 

“Oh yeah, I’m sure it wasn’t.” You said, flashing him an angry look and standing to your feet. “I bet I know why she left you now. You probably cheated on her, or she found you lusting after another woman or something equally as bad, didn’t she?” You threw your realizations in his face as loudly as you could, stepped up to him so fiercely that he backed his way back toward his door. It was so funny to think that, at the first time you had met Kylo had the upper hand. Kylo was the one pushing you around and yelling at you, but now the tables had turned. Now you were the one interrogating him, bullying the answers out of him just as he did to you. You were hurt, but it was still an amazing feeling to see him cowering away from you after catching him in a horrid act. 

“I bet, I bet if Tori walked through that door right now you’d boot me out of your life. You’d get rid of me, like I never mattered to you because now I know for sure that I didn’t.” Between words you wiped away your tears, allowed your sobs to escape one by one as you tried to wipe your face clean, but looking at him standing there just didn’t work. This was a man you had almost-- _ almost-- _ grown to love. You had spent so much time with him, touching him, talking to him, dancing with him, eating with him, and so on. You had your doubts that he was over Tori, but everything had seemed to be going so well in the last few days. You really thought that, one day, the two of you could love each other.

But not anymore, not when you had blatantly caught him pleasuring himself over his ex girlfriend. Sure it wasn’t exactly cheating, and sure the two of you weren’t on great terms, but it still hurt you. And you had enough, if you were going to be stuck here you wanted to be away from him. You wanted to get a normal job on the base and just survive from now on. You didn’t want anything to do with Kylo anymore, for all you cared he could sit in his big, empty home and watch his videos of Tori for entertainment. It had nothing to do with you anymore.

“Now, y/n, please. Let me explain myself.”

“No need, Kylo. I saw what happened with my own two eyes.” You said, turning toward the door, Kylo calling out your name each step of the way. “Y/n! Please just listen to me!” Kylo begged, but you spoke over him, yelling your demands of wanting out of the room since, not really to your surprise, the door was locked from the outside. “Open the door, Kylo! I’m done with you and your fantasies. I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time on you.” You cried out, but Kylo had other plans for you. He clasped his hand over your mouth and pulled you back into the room, blubbering on about how it was a mistake he made, about how he had stumbled upon the video of her after going through his other porn and didn’t realize it at first, but you would have none of it. You didn’t believe a word he said, the video had been playing for far too long for that to be true and it angered you even more to know he was lying about it now. This was it, this was truly the end for the two of you. 

You turned to Kylo and told him once more that you were done, you demanded he open the door so that you could leave and get on with your life, and the last thing you were ever willing to say to him came out without you fully thinking about the ramifications. But you were furious with no cares in the world about him and his feelings, why should you when clearly he didn’t and hadn’t cared about you in so long? 

“Fine. If you won’t open the door and allow me my freedom away from you, then I want to be sent back to Earth and I never want to see you ever again!” You bellowed, angry tears slipping down your face as you took in the horrified look on his face. “Y/n, slow down. Do not say things that you don’t mean like that.” Kylo said, his hands shaking wildly. You could see him losing his grip on reality and part of it terrified you knowing how violent he could get. But you pressed on, insisted once again that you would rather spend your time on Earth alone than here with him when he didn’t even want you. 

At one point Kylo raised his voice at you, stepping into your personal space and shouting about how you were ungrateful of everything he had done for you, that you were crazy for thinking he didn’t appreciate you based off of one 30 second video he watched once in the last few months he had known you. You retaliated with the same thing you had said over again, that he probably cheated on Tori and that’s why she left him. He was a shit human being and probably would have fucked Tori out in the hallway in front of you if he got the opportunity. You even said you hated him for it, and that you wished you had never showed up here. After screaming at one another for a few more minutes you watched Kylo walk over to the far left wall and violently punch a hole into the drywall. The act made you jump, made you feel extremely unsafe with him and it only gave you even more of a reason to leave him. 

But your feet remained cemented to the floor as you watched Kylo stand there fuming, his shoulders rising and falling as he said and did nothing but stare at the hole he had produced. You crossed your arms, technically you still couldn’t go anywhere with him just standing there, so you simply sat and waited for him to turn and start yelling at you once again. But he didn’t, you watched as he crossed his arms behind his back and pick up his head, looking that much more confident before finally speaking to you like a civilized person, just as you had hoped.

“Tori left me because I caught her having an affair in this very room.” He said coldly and calmly. Although you were still angry at him your heart still came to a standstill in your chest. You took another step over to him, mildly interested in what he had to say to you. “Although, she wasn’t having an affair with him. She was having an affair with me.” He whispered, and you could hear the grief beginning to build in his voice. “I found out that evening that I was the ‘other man,’ that she was actually married to a man from another planet. A man that I knew and frequently visited the base. I can only assume that it wasn’t the first time they had been intimate, she often requested to sleep alone in the room and I never thought anything of it.

“I came in because I woke up to her moaning, and I thought she was hurt. I didn’t knock,  I didn’t think. The only thing I could think of was my woman was hurt, and I needed to help her. But what I found was much worse. He was on top of her, turning around and snarling at me as Tori gasped underneath of him. He sat up off of her and said ‘who are you?’ and I said ‘I’m Kylo Ren, who are you?’ and when he told me that he was her husband I just lost it.”

You squint your eyes at him, was this true, or was this just a way for him to gain your sympathy after angering you? “It’s true, y/n.” He spoke, sniffling as he turned to face you. “It’s true, and I can prove to you that it is.” His eyes were stained red with oncoming tears as he walked over next to the bed, and about four feet away he lifted his hand toward his bedroom and his lightsaber came gracefully floating to him. His hand trembled as he grasped it, ignited it and lit the dark room in a bright red glow. You jumped, you still hadn’t gotten used to his saber in person and it still scared you, but you couldn’t look away as he began dragging the blade through the carpet. It was odd, you couldn’t imagine what he was trying to show you, and for a minute you worried that he was going to produce some kind of cellar that held the man Tori was married to.

You leaned over as he put his saber at rest, setting it on the ground as he grasped the now loose carpet and began pulling it up and was horrified to see that the wooden floorboards underneath were stained with darkened, old blood. “Oh my god!” You cried out, covering your mouth and stepping back just a tad. “You, you…!”

“I killed him, y/n.” Kylo said, his voice cracking in the process. You knew you had struck a nerve and you knew he was telling you the truth. You weren’t sure why you were shocked, you had read about him killing so many indiscriminately that one man he caught having sex with his woman shouldn’t have been a surprise. But it still unsettled you to know you had spent so much time here, where a man was murdered by Kylo Ren and you had basically slept in the bed he had died in. 

“As soon as the word ‘husband’ left his lips I pulled him off of her. She was begging me to stop but I was so enraged that I couldn’t. I stabbed him, pinned him to the ground with the knife and refused to let him up until he died. She cried the entire time, called me every name in the book and then tried to kill me, plucked the knife from his chest and charged at me. I ended up Force pushing her against the wall to get her off of me and broke three of her ribs as well as two of her vertebrae, and then just like you she was finished with me. I got her the medical attention she needed and she never showed her face to me again. The last time I ever heard from her, she only communicated with me through messages and said she wanted me to send her to Earth. I was crushed, but what I did scarred her, and there was no way I could fix it.”

You were astounded. When Tori had told you he beat her and abused her you had just automatically believed her. But you didn’t know she was leaving out a crucial element to the equation, and that was she had tried to kill him. Nevermind the fact that it sounded like she was using Kylo for his wealth and status, engaging him when she knew she was married. It was a fucked up thing to do, and you knew the feeling all too well. The same thing had occurred in your life with your own parents, your selfish cheating mother that took on a lover when she was still living with your father. Your heart instantly broke for him, and the fact that he sat there now openly sobbing broke you even more.

“And to sit here and know that my urges caused me to hurt you yesterday in the hall, to know that I actively pushed you away just as I did her hurts. I took my exhibitionism too far, assumed that you would enjoy it just as Tori did and forced it upon you. Now you’re telling me you want to leave, to be sent to Earth just like her and I’m panicking, knowing I’m going to be alone just like last time and it scares me. I failed you, and then failed you again by indulging myself in an old video I took of her. And just like with Tori, I know there’s no way I can make it up to you and fix it.” From there Kylo collapsed to his knees, covering his face with his hands and losing control of his emotions. 

You couldn’t help but to pity him. You couldn’t imagine the amount of emotional pain he was in having to tell you the tale of his break up, something that was much worse than you had imagined. It didn’t distract you from the fact that he had caused you to suffer, but to see someone you cared so much about in so much pain that they were brought to their knees was so damaging, you couldn’t help yourself. Both of you were damaged after recent events, the least you could do was find comfort in one another. 

You stepped over the exposed baseboard and up to him, wrapping your arms around his head and holding him as he continued to sob. His body convulsed in your arms, and before you could say anything his strong arms came around you, his tear stained face came to rest on your bosom and he was sobbing into your chest. “I’m so sorry.” Was all he could say, and it broke your heart each time the broken apology came from his lips. “Kylo.” You breathed, bringing your head down and resting your nose in his hair. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that Tori left you.” You said, trying to calm him down. “Please don’t leave me, y/n.” He begged, pushing you against his face even harder. “You can’t leave me like she did, I’ll do anything to make it up. I can’t be alone again.” He pleaded with you, and you honestly didn’t know what to think.

You had been heated all day, made a rash decision that you wanted to go back to Earth and weren’t exactly thinking about Kylo and his feelings. He seemed so remorseful, the way he sat there begging you not to leave him. Although you still felt like there was no excuse, you realized that Kylo knew he had messed up and had likely learned his lesson from this whole ordeal. He had even finally opened up enough to tell you the truth on the matter of his break up with Tori, and it was much more brutal than you thought it was going to be. You had thought Kylo was just the worst, but as it turned out he was struggling with his own issues as well. You were satisfied with the fact that Kylo recognized he was wrong and was willing to admit it out loud, and you felt like he was remorseful enough. Although you vowed you’d never forget what he had done to you, you decided that, for now, you would drop the issue.

“Kylo,” You whispered, grabbing a fistful of his hair and gently tugging his head up to yours. You smiled at him, trying to ignore the broken look of despair that decorated his face. That look begged for forgiveness and understanding. You felt for him, you really did. “Why don’t we go to bed?” You asked, keeping your question short and to the point. You figured the less you said the less Kylo would question, and when it came down to it both of you had a shitty day. The quicker the two of you got to bed, the quicker the two of you could move on.

“You’ll come to my bed?” Kylo asked you, a single tear dripping down his face and onto the carpet below you. You reached down, pushed some of his hair out of his face and wiped his face clean and dry. You gave him a soft smile, nodded your head once in reply. He sniffed, placing his hands upon your hips for a moment before standing once again. “Very well then.” He said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He reached out and took your hand in his, lifting it to his lips and placing a short, wet kiss on your skin. He stared at you, his eyes begging to say something to you but his lips stayed stagnant. You could do nothing but smile at him, to silently say you understood and forgave him, that you just wanted to go to bed now. Without saying another word Kylo turned, leading you back to his bedroom where, hopefully, the two of you could sleep off all of your worries. Tomorrow you vowed to collect up your feelings and give him a straight answer tomorrow. Tomorrow, after a good night’s rest and a full meal you’d decide if you’d want to stay with Kylo, find somewhere new to live, or insist Kylo find a way for you to get to Earth. For now, you and Kylo settled next to each other in bed, each facing away from each other under the covers, finally contented with one another after your falling out.

  
  


The next morning you were awoken by Kylo late. You took a look at the clock on his desk, it read 10 AM. This was strange, Kylo usually didn’t let you sleep later than 8, he was usually waking you up on his own, but not today. He wasn’t even in his sleeping clothes as he was shaking your shoulders, he was fully dressed and had an urgent look on his face. “Come.” Is all he said to you at first, flipping the covers off of you as he urged you out of bed. “I have something to show you.” He pressed on, but you said nothing. Instead you followed his directions, following him as he led you out of his bedroom and to the top of the stairs. “I’m going to cover your eyes, be careful.” He said, and that’s when you knew you’d be in for a pleasant surprise. Holding onto both sides of the staircase you cautiously put one foot in front of the other, stepping down each stair until Kylo informed you that you had reached the bottom and could walk normally.

He led you forward, and as he did you had to wonder what was going on. What could he possibly be showing you that he had to keep a surprise? You had concluded whatever it was that it was probably something good, that it would be something you would enjoy. But what if it wasn’t? What if it were Tori and he was telling you that they had made everything right and you were free to go? What if he were leading you to your own home, that he decided to kick you out? You grimaced, pushing those negative thoughts to the back of your mind. He couldn’t possibly be doing something that cruel after all that transpired the previous night. 

So you stayed quiet until he stopped you, asked if you were ready for your surprise and you eagerly nodded your head. You felt him lift his hands from your eyes and as soon as you were free you opened them, and what stood before you in the corner of Kylo’s living room made your jaw fly right off the hinge.

His simulated windows were set to winter time, snow was falling outside and collecting upon the ground. Behind it sat what seemed to be a twelve foot tall, live Christmas tree. It was lit up with colorful lights, decorated with red and black Christmas ornaments, and you were lucky enough to have taken a deep breath in through your nose and were able to smell the fresh pine. “Oh, my god.” You said, unable to say anything else. You took a step closer, running your fingers down the dull needles and grasping one of the bright red bulbs. Kylo had really outdone himself.

“I remembered you had said your Christmas’s weren’t that great, since your parents had separated and caused you so much grief.” He said, and you turned around just in time to see him reach into his coat pocket. “Last night I couldn’t sleep, and I did some research on my datapad. Today, on your planet it’s Christmas, and if today is going to be among my last to spend with you I wanted to give you at least one good holiday.” He said, pulling out a card in a white envelope. You glowed as he handed it to you, you had completely lost track of days on Earth and had no idea it was Christmas time back home. “Merry Christmas.” He said, then stepped away from you, up to the window where he studied the flurries. 

You wasted no time in opening the card, sticking your thumb underneath of the flap and breaking it open to reveal a plain white card with a green Christmas tree hand painted on the front. It was like a Christmas card, Kylo had someone hand paint you a Christmas card as a Christmas gift, how wonderful. You bit down on your lip and flipped the card open and were greeted with the same handwriting as the notes you had pulled out of the Ben Solo book so long ago. It brought you back, and you felt your appreciation grow with every word you read from him:

 

_ Dearest Y/n, _

 

_ I know yesterday was not ideal, I know he had drifted apart for a short moment, but I am so impressed that we managed to work through our differences and qualms. As a result, we both came out on top and I wanted to thank you with a celebration of your favorite holiday. _

_ I couldn’t say it last night, I was too emotional and so were you and I felt like it wouldn’t mean anything if I did, so I’ll say it now: I love you.  _

_ I love you, I love you, I love you.  _

_ I love the way you look, I love the way you talk, and I love you. You have something that Tori could never give to me, and that is your loyalty and honesty. Last night proved it, thinking back on that awful night I realized we were never meant for each other and I don’t know what I saw in her. I can’t believe I was so close to losing you over her, and I never want to come that close again. _

_ That being said, I do understand that I caused some irreversible damage to you in the hallway, and I wish that I would have stopped and asked you, because if I had none of this would have ever happened. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t even expect you to love me after I forced myself upon you, but I thought so long about what you said. I never wanted to tell you this, but you deserve to know and I can no longer keep it a secret. For the past two months the Order has been working hard on recreating the machine to send you back to Earth. It just became available last week, and it’s ready for you to go back whenever you would like. I’m not expecting you to stay for me, I’m expecting you to stay for you and your reasons, and should you decide to go back home, I will respect your decision. _

_ Once again, I love you, and I want nothing more than to see you happy. Feel free to make your decision and make it wisely, let me know when you’re ready to and don’t feel pressured to say yes or no. _

_ Love, K.R.  _

 

As you read the last few sentences your hand flew over your gaping mouth. Your Christmas gift from Kylo was the ability to go back home. He acknowledged that he had harmed you, recognized that it wasn’t good to hide such a huge development in the First Order from you, and offered you the choice. The choice to stay with a man who loves you, or the choice to go back to a planet you loved. A tear rushed down your face as you shut the card, he was so thoughtful and you couldn’t handle it. You couldn’t handle his first declaration of love, you couldn't handle his beautiful handwriting, you couldn’t handle him at all. You looked up at him, under all those black clothes, under his hardened demeanor and his inability to show off his emotions was a man you truly loved, a man that took care of you and went out of his way months ago, when the two of you were happy with one another, to make a way for you to go back home because he knew that you were homesick.

You stepped over to him, gently placed your hand on his back and drew his attention to you. You couldn’t stand the fact that you were crying again, even if they were tears born out of happiness. Even Kylo’s eyes were glassy as he looked at you deep in yours. He was begging you for an answer, wanted to know if he’d be sending you off of keeping you here with him. Your answer was clear, easy to make after seeing the effort Kylo went into by orchestrating all of this. You swung your arms around his neck and pressed your lips into his, kissing him as passionately as you could. He responded by placing his arms around your waist, holding you close and kissing you back just as happily. You didn’t need to say it, you were staying with Kylo.

“I, I love you.” You said to him, in between your kisses. It was the first time you had said it out loud, and you said it with as much affection as you could. Your tears mixed together as your kiss deepened, and in your head you heard Kylo whisper ‘thank you.’ You giggled at him, and in an instant one of his hands was lifted from your hip. In the background you heard the beginning of your favorite Christmas song playing, and you felt like it was the perfect song to start the rest of your life to, your life with Kylo as the both of you grew and bloomed in love for each other. The two singers started their tune, and as the song progressed the kiss stopped and the two of you were happy to sit there in each other’s company, looking out at the snowy landscape as the song played on to the very end:

 

_ I really can’t stay. Baby don’t hold out. _

 

_ Oh Baby it’s cold outside!  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with one of my own favorite Christmas songs, this story comes to a close. Thank you for sticking around for the ride, I hope you enjoyed it!   
> -Jenn Noir

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think, I've always wanted to write a moden AU mixed with a canon AU and when I came across this writing prompt I thought it was perfect! My dream was to have Kylo come to Earth but something tells me Kylo wouldn't last that long in our society with how he kills people and what not....lol. So I had a reader go to him instead.  
> And yes, Reder is referring to the new Han Solo movie coming out soon!


End file.
